CYBER HYMENAL Part 2
brought to you by members of the Lyre Staph
Ay yi yi yi
Freshmen never eat pussy!
So here comes another verse
That's worse than the other verse
So waltz me around by my willie!
(spoken)
There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long, he could suck it
He said with a grin
As he wiped off his chin
"If my ear was a cunt, I could fuck it"
Chorus
Substitute your own limericks ....
For example:
Three lovely young girls from St. Thomas
Would frequent nightclubs in pajamas.
They were fondled all summer
By sax, bass, and drummer
I'm suprised that by now they're not mamas!
Alternate 2nd lines for the chorus:
Your mother sucks flies through screen doors
Your sister's in love with a carrot
Your father refills cream donuts
Your mother swims out after troop ships
Your mother does cartwheels on doorknobs
Witches eat bat shit off cave walls
Your mother plays helicopter on parking meters
Ritty Titty Rat Fuck
Cunt, Clit, Twat.
Sixtynine assholes
Tied in a knot.
Gonorrhea, Piorrhea.
Syphillis, Snot.
Bite, Suck,
Gobble Nibble Chew.
We're the Trojan Marching Band,
WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!
Lean to the left ....
Lean to the right ...
Stand up, Sit down
ON MY FACE!
Secant, Tangent,
Cosine, Sine.
Logarithim, Algorithim,
Hyperbolic Sine.
Three point one four one five nine.
C'mon defense, HOLD THAT LINE!
One two, Fuck You.
Three four, you're a whore,
Five six, suck dick.
Seven eight, masturbate!
Nine ten, FUCK YOU AGAIN!!
One two, Fuck You.
Three four, Fuck You.
Five six, Fuck You.
Seven eight, Fuck You.
Nine ten, FUCK YOU!!
Broken Rubber,
Misconception .....
C'mon defense, INTERCEPTION!
Mercury, Mars,
Earth, Venus..
We got the _______
By the ...... HEAD!!
Phallic tales can come true
You can always get screwed
If you're young did hard.
With each clit that you tease,
You'll become more at ease
If you're young and hard.
If you go to extremes,
She may rip at the seams
Ttiink of what a surprise
When she sees your big rise!
And here is the best part:
You have a ...."head" start
If you are among the very
Young and hard!!
Over the stomach and thru the legs,
It's up in my twat you go!
Your dick knows the way
To make me feel gay
Then it's more I want and soooooo ......
Over the stomach and thru the legs,
Oh, jump on me right now!
I.'ll scream and moan and make you groan
As into my twat you go!
(Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow)
There's a great big beautiful vagina
Shining at the end of every leg
There's a great big beautiful vagina
And the hymen is just an inch away!
First you spread the two legs apart,
Then you dive right in, don't muff your start.
If it slips in with the greatest of ease,
You know she's lost her virginity!
There's a great big beautiful vagina
Dripping at the end of every leg
There's a great big beautiful vagina
And it's just a lay away!
I got a pal named Sasafrass
She had pimples on her butt
Some is big and some is small
Some you can hardly see at all
Ta ra ra boom de ay, etc.
As a freshmen, she was pure
'Till the dean came 'round on tour
He was such a lousy lover
That he made a mother of her!
Ta ra ra boom de ay, etc.
When she was a sophomore
She became a working whore
Fifty cents was all they'd pay
For a blow job or a lay
Ta ra ra boom de ay, etc.
As a junior, she would shrink
'Till they taught her hoe to drink
Then they'd fill her up with gin
Son anyone could put it in
Ta ra ra boom de ay, etc.
As a senior, after class,
She was selling instant ass
She was soon expelled from school
For cumming in the swimming pool!
Ta ra ra boom de ay, etc.
Gang bangs and poontangs and vaseline jelly,
Fucking and sucking and sperm on her belly,
Boxes of dildos tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things
Stroking and blowing and chewing and eating,
She'll take my huge cock
And give it a beating
Her legs wrapped 'round me,
They seem just to cling
These are a few of my favorite things
When she fucks me,
When she sucks me,
When we're on the floor,
I'll simply grab hold
Of her nice, dripping twat
And then she will say, "Once more!"
I've got a start on a 12" hard on
That I've had all afternoon
Went to the doctor, he told me to cough
I wish that he would have whacked it right off!
Come to me, Venus, massage my penis
And shrivel it like a prune
'Cause I've got a start on a 12" hard on
I'll probably have til June, til June
I'll probably have til June!
Art's got a start on a 2" hard on
He won't even have til noon
Went to the doctor, he said it was small
He said that he could just add one more ball
Come to me, Venus, and find Art's penis
With tweezers if you can (Where is it?)
'Cause Art's got a start on a 2" hard on
That won't even last til noon, til noon
It won't even last til noon (it's getting smaller)
It won't even last til noon!
Nothin' could be finer than to
Be in her vagina in the morning!
Nothin' could be sweeter
Than her lips around my peter
In the morning!
If I had Aladdin's lamp
For only a Day,
I'd have her sit upon my face
And this is what I'd say:
"Nothin' could be finer
Than to be in her vagina
In the morning!"
Let me tell you all a story 'bout a man named Jed
Poor mountaineer, always kept his wife in bed
Then one day, when he was shootin' at some food ...
And up through her cunt came a bubblin' crude
(blood, that is, menstruation, liquid people!)
Well the first thing you know, ol' Jed was in 'er hair
Then she said, "Jed, stick your cock in there!"
She said, "My vagina is the place you oughta be."
So he pumped her fifty times and raised a family!
Who's that knocking at my door?
Who's that knocking at my door?
Who's that knocking at my door?
Said the fair young maiden
It's me and my crew
And we've come for a screw
Said Barnacle Balls the sailor (repeat)
What if I don't let you in?
What if I don't let you in?
What if I don't let you in?
Said the fair young maiden
I'll pick the lock
With my ten foot cock
Said Barnacle Balls the sailor (repeat)
What it I should rip and bleed? ...
Well, spread your legs
And I'll eat your eggs ...
What if I should get V.D.?...
I'll light a match
And burn your snatch ...
What if I should have a child? ...
I'll dig a ditch
And bury the bitch ...
What if mother should find out?...
If Mom agrees,
We'll make it threes ...
What it you should go to jail? ...
I'll light a fart and blow it apart ...
Yesterday
All my troubles seemed so far away
Now I guess that blister's here to stay
I wish I'd stayed home yesterday.
Suddenly
I'm not half the man I used to be
There's a rash that's spreading over me
I got burned yesterday.
Why she let it go I don't know
She wouldn't say
Don't say, "I told you so!"
Boy, I blew it yesterday!
Chorus:
Eat my butt out
Eat my butt out
Eat my butt out, eat my butt out
Eat out of my butt
Please lick my sweaty balls,
They're so dirty
(they're so dirty, they're so dirty
they're so dirty, they're so dirty)
Please eat my crusty ass,
It's so mushy
(it's so mushy, it's so mushy
it's so mushy, it's so mushy)
Chorus
Pubic hair,
You've got the cutest patch of pubic hair
I say no other can hope to compare
To your pubic hair
Penis or vagina,
Nothing could be finer than your
Pubic hair
Oh, I'm in heaven when I'm in you underwear!
I never need a shove to get a mouthful of
Your delicious pubic hair!
Swing low, sweet chariot
Comin' for to carry me home
Swing low, sweet chariot
Comin' for to carry me home
I looked over Jordan
And what did I see?
Comin' for to carry me home
A band of Angels comin' after me,
Comin' for to carry me home.
Swing low, sweet chariot
Comin' for to carry me home
Swing low, sweet chariot
Comin' for to carry me home
(Lyre Staph Note: Seems innocent enough, does it? Ask an old member to show you the versions for the deaf, hard of hearing and blind!)
Dance a little bit,
Fuck a little bit,
Follow the Band.
Follow the Band
With your balls in your hand singing
Dance a little bit,
Fuck a little bit,
Follow the band.
Follow them all the way home!
My father's a _____.
A _____ , a _____,
A mighty fine _____ is he!
All day he ______ ______,
He _____ _____, he ______ _____,
And when he comes home, he _____ me.
Examples:
postman
postman, postman
postman
licks stamps
licks stamps, licks stamps
licks
baker
baker,baker
baker
creams puffs
creams puffs,creams puffs
creams
Milkman.....milks cows
Freshman....fucks up
Oilman......drills wells
My oneskin lies over my twoskin,
My twoskin lies over my three,
My threeskin lies over my foreskin,
So peel back my foreskin for me!
Peel back, peel back,
Peel back my foreskin for me, for me!
Peel back, peel back,
Peel back my foreskin for me!
My vodka lies over my pizza,
My pizza lies over my peas,
My peas lie over my tennis shoes,
So peel back my barf bag for me!
Peel back, peel back,
Peel back my barf bag for me, for me!
Peel back, peel back,
Peel back my barf bag for me!
She's a great big bitch.
Twice the size of me
She's got hair on her pussy
Like the branches of a tree
Chorus:
She can swim, fish, fight, fuck,
Roll around, and drive a truck
That's the kind of girl I want to marry
She can squash me like a grape
In between her fat rolls
She can do a double flip
off the nipple of her tit
Chorus
She can shoot green peas
Out her dirty asshole
She can spread white bread
With the jam between her toes
Chorus
She can brew dark beer
With her yeastie beasties
She can pop a bottle top
With the flick of her clit
Chorus
B-A-Double R-Y, my name is Barry,
I'm the one they all call fairy,
Between my legs it's not very hairy.
B-A-Double R-Y, Barry is my name,
I'm the man of the hour,
Don't bend over in the shower,
Barry is my name!
There's a silk in the TMB
There's a silk in the TMB
There's a silk ...
There's a silk ...
There's a silk in the TMB!
There's a hole in the silk in the TMB
There's a hole in the silk in the TMB
There's a silk ...
There's a silk ...
There's a silk in the TMB!
There's a dick in the hole in the silk in the TMB
Etc., etc.
Keep building until you have:
There's a lice on the crab on the hair on the wart on the dick in the hole in the silk in the TMB
There's a lice on the crab on the hair on the wart on the dick in the hole in the silk in the TMB
There's a silk ...
There's a silk ...
There's a silk in the TMB!
A helmet young David had taken
Ere he found himself suddenly achin'
When the poor little shit
By some tubas was hit
And one of his legs started breakin'
(But the fag sued and got $75,000!)