|
Finally, the day your parents warned, promised, and usually threatened would come has arrived. For better or for worse your whole life changes. I'm not talking about holy matrimony. This is worse.
No more pocket money. Out of petrol and oil for the old Commodore SL? Need cash for dates? Forced to pay your own bail on a drunk and disorderly warrant? What's a couch potato to do? Time to get a job. There's lots of good jobs available. Besides, things could be worse. Just remember that somewhere, someone is doing something shirtless with hot tar for eight dollars an hour.
 Once you do get a job, people expect you to play truant every now and then. In fact, skipping a day of work and chucking a "sickie" is a timeless Aussie tradition. But it's hard to come up with a believable lie. Let's say you hit the snooze button fourteen times and you're running fifteen minutes late for work. First, if you actually show up only fifteen minutes late, you're going to look like you kept hitting the snooze button. So relax. Sit, read the paper, drink a couple of cups of coffee.
Now for the lie. Don't use the standard, "I got stuck in traffic." They'll know you're lying. Think of something that is so bizarre that your boss will honestly feel sorry for you. I don't recommend the dead relative lie for two reasons. First, it's hard to keep up with whom you've killed off and who's still living. Grandma can only pass away so often, although in some families there can be plenty of Grandmas to go around. But then up crops the second problem: guilt. If you're like me, saying, "Uncle Fred got hit by a train," will make you worry that Uncle Fred will get ploughed by a locomotive. Then you'll be up on a murder charge for knowing way too much. So if you use a relative, don't kill them. A serious illness is just fine, and it could keep you out of prison.
|
|
| Continued next page... |
|
|
|
oocities.com/psychofrog
© Froggy's World Since 1997
Created by Marc Willems
