CONTENTS

Chieftain's Message
Scots missed are Found
A Wee Ode
Chieftain's Quiache
St Andrew Bar-B-Que
The Rules of Dieting
Old Man & the Gun
Bizzare But True
Why oh Why?
From Your Ed
Just a Quick Note
Scottish Snippets
This Months Recipe
Future Events
Wha’s Like Us?
Scottish Quiz
We Have Moved
Quiz Answers
Great Scots
Glesga Terms of Endearment
Scots Little Instruction Book
A Wee Glesga Song
Figure These Oot

CHIEFTAINS MESSAGE

As my term as chieftain of the Java St Andrew Society is almost over it is with some relief as well as regret that I write my last message to you. We have, I think had successful year socially and I hope our member’s enjoyed all of the events as much as Yvanka and myself. We are hoping that this letter will reach you before the AGM, which is currently scheduled for the 11^th of February.

I must admit, after having had to cancel the Gathering, I had some serious doubts the weekend before the ball whether we should bring in the bands and indeed have a Ball. Thankfully all went well and most people had a great time, more than a few actually remember it! We have included a centre page pull-out featuring the St Andrew’s Ball which I hope captures the mood of the evening.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank all of the committee members and other members who did so much work over the year to make the ball and other events so successful. I would also like to thank the membership for their keen support of all the special events Ceilidh, Whisky Tasting, pub nights and sports events.

I would like to wish the new committee, whoever they turn out to be, every success next year and offer them Yvanka’s and my continued support in a year which looks like being even less predictable than the last.

Aye Yours & Aye Ready

Chuck Jeffery

Chieftain

Hong Kong Bank – Main Sponsors
British Airways & Qantas – Air Travel & Raffle
Pacific Removals/Allied Pickford – Table Centrepiece
Lane Moving & Storage – Hall Decoration/Printing
Oil Tools – Breakfast
Baroid – Wines
Calmarine – Rock Band
BJ Services – Cocktails in Foyer
Premier Oil
Anderguage
Baker Hughes Inteq

Scots missed are found on the net

John Kavanagh

Bobbi Bushue’s father migrated from Aberdeen to America in 1920 and she knew nothing about her Scottish roots – until the Internet helped her trace her ancestry back through five generations.

Instead of having to traipse around village churches to pore over illegible records and gravestones, Bushue is one of the 500-plus people a day visiting an online index to all the birth, marriage and death records held by the General Register Office for Scotland. It has 25 million records gathered from old parish registers dating back to 1553, making it one of the biggest databases on the Net.

The complete records have been computerised for ten years, making Scotland the world leader in this field; English records, for example, are still available only on paper. And last year Ian Galbraith, managing director of Scottish website developer OMS Services, proposed public online access to the Index.

Galbraith had such confidence in demand for the service that OMS invested in an IBM R5000 Unix computer and a leased line to the Net. It is also running one of the first live applications of the Secure Electronics Transaction security standard to handle online payments by credit card as service costs 6 pounds for six hours’ searching. "More than half the users are from outside the UK, mostly in the US but also Canada, Australia and New Zealand," Galbraith says, "Hundreds leave messages of gratitude: we’ve heard of people buying PCs just to use the service."

Bushue, a scheduler at Federal Express in Memphis, Tennessee, is one of those grateful users. "I’m the last MacLaggan in the family and I wanted to show my children where we came from," she says. "I’d spent hours in our local family-history centers? And got nowhere, but using the system I’ve so far traced back to my great-great grandparents. I am to go back as far as I can."

Bushue has made friends in Scotland. "One lady even went to a particular parish to look up an original record for me," she says.

Contributed by

Mr Rod A.M. Ramsay

Oh! Where is the Glasgow where I used to Stay?
White wally closes done up wi’ pipe clay
Where you knew everybody, first floor tae third
And tae keep yer door lock wis considered absurd!

Where urr the weans that once played in the street?
Wi’ a jorrie, a peever, a gird an’ a cleet
Can they still cadge a hudgie or dreep aff a dike
Plau hunch cuddy hunch, kick the can an’ the like?

An’ where is the wee shoap where I used to buy
A quarter o’tatties, a tuppeny pie
A bag o’broke biscuits, a wee sodie scone
An’ the wuman aye asked, "How’s yer mau getting’ oan?"

Where is the Tallies that I knew so well?
That wee corner shoap where they used tae sell
Hot peas, a Macallum ice cream in a poke
-You knew they were Tallies the minute they spoke

And where is the cludgie – that cosy wee cell
The string fae the cistern – I remember it well
Where I sat wi’ a caun’le an’ studied the rags
-A win fur the Auld firm, a loss fur the Jags

Where is the tramcar which once did a ton
Doon Great Western Road, on the Ol’ Yoker run
The conductress aye knew how tae dea wi’ the nyaff
"If yer gaun well, cumoan – if yer no, well get aff!!

I think o’ the days o’ my tenement hame
Noo we’ve got fancy hooses but they’re jist no the same
I’ll swap yer gizunders, flyovers and jams
For a tuppeny ride on the ol’ Partick trams

Gone is the Glesca that I used to know
Big Willie, wee shuggie, the steamie, the Co
The shilpit, wee bachlie, the glaikit big dreep
Yir ba’s on the slate and yir gas in a peep

Those days wurnae rosy and money wis tight
The wages haul finished by Seterday night
But still we came through it and weathered the ruts
The reason is simple, oor parents had guts!!!

Contributed by
Mark Aitken

good dry cleaners to keep his Sporran clean; he of course joins the St Andrew Society. Being a good Scot, as soon as I arranged the first, I sought out the small home of our Chieftain and signed up as a life member.

My first meeting with my fellow members happened to be a barbecue at Scott and June Younger's equally small cottage style home (I felt reassured that most of the houses were just what I had been used to in Govan). The clans gathered and soon I began to realise that there were a few non Scottish accents milling around me, not to be put off I spoke to each one of them in turn soon to learn that even Australian’s seen to be welcome in our Society. After a few tennants lagers (or was it bintang?) people began to drift towards the food tables that were situated at the back of the wee hoose, I followed behind and after being handed a plate quickly filled it with all sorts of delicious foodstuffs. I was looking hard for a soup bowl to try the Scotch broth when I overheard some-one comment on how good the gravy was…..I slunk off thankful that I hadn’t asked for a bowl. The day became night and as people took their leave the die hards closed ranks and soon the beautiful sounds of Scottish songs drifted through the Jakarta night. I heard someone singing a song about a jeelie piece, I thought "I know that one", then realised it was me singing. The day was a great success; the night was even better. I look forward to the next one - at least I think I do.

David Beattie

1. If you eat something, but no one else sees you eat it, it has no calories.
2. When drinking a diet soda while eating a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled by the diet soda.
3. When you eat with someone else, calories don’t count as long as you don’t eat more than they do.
4. Foods used for the medicinal purposes never count, e.g. hot chocolate, brandy, toast, Sara Lee cheesecake.
5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you will look thinner.
6. Movie-related foods do not have calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one’s personal fuel, e.g. milk duds, buttered popcorn, junior mints and tootsie rolls.
7. Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking the cookie causes calorie leakage.
8. Late-night snacks have no calories. The refrigerator light is not strong enough for the calories to see their way into the calorie counter.
9. If you are in the process of preparing something, food licked off knives and spoons have no calories, e.g. peanut butter on a knife, ice cream on a spoon.
10. Food of the same colour have the same number of calories. Examples are spinach and pistachio ice cream, mushrooms and white chocolate. Chocolate is a universal colour and may be substituted for any other.

An 80 year old man was having his annual checkup and the doctor asked him how he was feeling.

"Iv’e never been better!" he boasted. "I’ve got an eighteen year old bride who’s pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?"

The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, "Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. He never missed a season. But one day went out in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun."

The doctor continued, "So he was in the woods and suddenly a grizzly bear appeared in front of him! He raised up his umbrella, pointed it at the bear and squeezed the handle."

"And do you know what happened?" the doctor queried.

Dumbfounded, the old man replied "No."

The doctor continued, "The bear dropped dead in front of him!"

"That’s impossible!" exclaimed the old man. "Someone else must have shot that bear."

"That’s kind of what I’m getting at….." replied the doctor.

Abraham Lincoln was elected to congress in 1846
John F Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946

Abraham Lincoln was elected President 1860
John F Kennedy was elected President 1960

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday
Both were shot in the head, and in the presence of their wives

The secretary of each president warned them not to go to the theatre and Dallas respectively

Lincoln’s Secretary was named Kennedy
Kennedy’s Secretary was named Lincoln

Both were assassinated by southerners
Both were succeeded by southerners named Johnson

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939

Booth ran from the theatre and was captured in a warehouse
Oswald ran from the warehouse and was captured in a theatre

Booth and Oswald were both assassinated before their trials

Reid Dupuis

I woke up the other morning with a tremendous hangover and no memories of ….Why? Had Scotland beaten Lithuania at Fitba'!, had we rebuilt Hadrians Wall!, or had the Indonesian Banks started accepting Scottish pound notes!.

And then I remembered………….I'd been at the Pub Night! Oh get me some "air putih", some Enos and some Aspirin I asked my wife, to which she very kindly responded………. get it yersel'.

During the course of the day which was extremely hazy I began to remember my arrival at the Chieftain's house at 7.30pm where I was met by Mark Manderson our highly organised Sports Convenor. He was unusually friendly which I found quite strange until he gave me a paper and pen, and sent me off to organise the pool competition. One thing Mark has learned is the art of delegation although he has not learnt how to use both dartboards at the same time!

As I went chasing people around the house to sign up, with beer in hand or possibly both hands, Mark was also doing the same for the darts competition. Whilst doing this, more and more Scots, some English, a few Aussies, an American and of course our lovely Indonesian wives arrived, to be greeted by Chuck and Yvanka, our hosts for the evening.

In between playing with my darts partner, Avril McLeod (we were somewhat overwhelmed by the standard of Sue Taylor and David Lamb in the first round), running up and down the stairs to and from the pool table, snatching the occasional beer from the bartender, I noticed that the Scottish dancing had started with people being dragged on to the dance floor, the food was being attacked and there was some serious drinking being done.

At some time in the evening the finals of the darts happened with Steve Bracker (the Drinks Convenor who I blame for my hangover) and Asti McCready faced the formidable pairing of Paul Looker and Heather Speirs. Paul and Heather took an early lead, with Paul scoring very well, only to be finished by Asti throwing a triple 19 and triple 17 and Steve on the winning double 7. Steve and Asti won themselves a bottle of whisky each and the runners-up Highland Gathering T-shirts.

Meanwhile upstairs at the pool table the semi finals were being played with Steve Bracker yet again reaching the final with his partner Rose MacDonald. This time they met yours truly and my partner Avril McLeod. This was the best of three and after we went one down, it looked bad for us but after tying the games at one apiece Avril and I thought we might be in with a chance, but I'm afraid the partnership of Rose and Steve was just too much for us, especially with my double vision! Again the winners won a bottle of whisky with the runners-up winning t-shirts. Incidentally, the runners-up can collect their t-shirts from Reid Dupuis. Congratulations to the winners and thanks to everyone who participated.

At one point in the evening I popped into the bar area to get another beer, and had to fight my way passed the likes of Mike Ross, David Findlay, Bob Dover, Bob McLeod, Peter, Kim, Robert, Alex and twenty or thirty others. This unruly mob were obviously used to 10 o'clock closing-time and had not been told that the bar would be open all night if necessary. The actual time of closing was 3.30am and that is the reason for having this tremendous hangover, but from all accounts…. I was not alone!

The latter part of the evening outside on the terrace, found Jimmy Bissett entertaining us on guitar singing Scottish favourites as well as some Indonesian and golden oldies, accompanied by whoever knew a spattering of the words.

Mike Ross - "Magic ! Magic ! Magic !"

Cathy Dover - "Wonderful"

Bernie McCready - "Bloody Marvelous"

Steve Bracker - "I won everything - thank God for my partners"

A few persons heard complaining on the night about the price of tickets at Rps 100,000 have to understand that these events are also used to raise money for charity and having checked with the JSAS Treasurer/Deputy Chieftain, Ronnie McCracken, the Pub Nights up until December 14^th 1998 have raised Rps 12,863,000. This is terrific especially when we consider the poverty that surround us in the community.

Thanks once again to the Chieftain and his good lady for the hospitality extended to all of us.

Contributed

Mark Aitken

For those of you who know George Stevenson and have heard of his little mishap at the Post Ball breakfast (he fell in the pool, kilt, jacket and all). According to Marissa the kilt survived and the jacket…..well they were waiting to see the results from the dry cleaners. The Stevensons have now departed the shores of Jakarta and we wish them well (at least he went out with a splash).

I would like to thank everyone for their patience this year, the October magazine didn't quite make the stands as our lovely new Dell computer kept breaking down, and there doesn't seem to be a service facility here (that will teach us to buy outside Indonesia). It has since been sent back to Malaysia and we are still awaiting the outcome. The Bracker's have come to the rescue and kindly offered me the use of their computer.

Since this will be my last issue I would like to thank everyone I worked with on the committee, and wish the new Chieftain, Committee and Editor the best of luck.

Ami, Sean and I have been home for almost 8 weeks, during that time we have tried hard to settle in, I have watched Hibernian go 13 games unbeaten and surprise, have secured a job in Malaysia beginning in January with Turner and Townsend of Glasgow. So after all the rigmaroll of shipping all home, getting visas for the wife, throwing my tenant out, paying furra a bloody leaving do, I am back and nearby after hogmany!!!!

Had our first major snow last weekend. Ami had never seen it in real life before and suggested it was like frozen talc!!! Family are well, but a wee bit shell shocked at the reality of moving home. Suffice to say, we are all happy to be coming back to SE Asia in a few weeks.

A merry Christmas and guid new year to a'in Jakarta and Indonesia.

Love

The Strachans

From The Rampant Scotland Newsletter
Issue Number Eighty-five
28 November 1998

A survey by the influential American "Fortune" business magazine has voted Glasgow as the third best city in Europe for doing business, with only Paris and London ahead. They pointed to the thriving equity market, the growth of call centres, quality of life and the performance of college and university graduates. Glasgow also had an above average number of women in management posts.

Science Centre Approved

The final piece of finance was announced this week for a 71.5 million pounds (US$118 million) science centre to be built on the banks of the river Clyde at Pacific Quay, Glasgow. The centre will consist of an "exploration hall" with permanent exhibits, a 100 metre high tower with spectacular views across the city and an Imax theatre which will have the largest film screen in Scotland. It is expected to attract over 600,000 visitors a year. Construction starts this month and is due to be completed in April 2001.

Auld Lang Syne for Sale

A copy of the song "Auld Lang Syne" in Burns' own handwriting is to be sold at Christie's in New York next month. It is expected to fetch over 75,000 pounds (US$125,000). Burns did not compose the verses himself - he wrote them down as they were sung by an old man he met while he was

Sweeties as Grannie Made Them

A sweet shop (candy shop) on the edge of The Barras Market in Glasgow celebrated its 95^th birthday this week. Glickman's is the oldest confectionery shop in Glasgow and still makes the products to traditional recipes, hand stirring the ingredients in a big copper pot and storing them in colourful jars around the shop. Specialties include chocolate covered dates, soor plooms, strippit balls and tablet flavoured with whisky. Isaac Glickman emigrated from eastern Europe at the end of last century and his "Famous Cough Tablets" were one of the few treats not rationed during the Second World War.

Rosyth to Holland Ferry?

A partnership involving Fife Council, Napier University and Scottish Enterprise are examining the feasibility of ferry service between Rosyth and Zeeland in Holland. Two fast ferries are envisaged, carrying up to 100 vehicles and 500 passengers to provide a gateway to European markets. Journey time would be 16 hours. 75% of Scottish trade with Europe currently goes via the Tees, Humber, Thames and Felixstowe/Harwich ports.

This Months Recipe

This is a recipe for Scotch Broth - a traditional dish with many ways of making it. At home you can make a large pan to be eaten through the week - the flavour gets better as the week goes on. Lamb stock was traditionally used or a shoulder of mutton was boiled with the soup, but I have opted to make a vegetarian version. Don't let me put you off using a shoulder of mutton though as it makes a delicious soup and the mutton is tender and tasty.

4oz mixed broth - if you can't buy mixed broth mix together 2oz barley, 1oz lentils and 1oz dried green peas.
Wash the broth mix in plenty of water - this gets rid of any flour and loose starch.

1 small onion finely chopped
4oz carrots finely chopped
4 oz turnip/swede finely chopped
A little celery finely chopped
Small leek finely chopped

The above is purely a guide for ingredients and it can be varied according to what you have, or the flavour you prefer.

In a pan big enough for everything, first sweat the onions in a little oil, and then sweat the rest of the vegetables.

Add stock and broth mix

2 pts Vegetable Stock. If you don't have any vegetable stock a stock cube will do.

Simmer for 2 hours topping the water up where necessary until the barley and peas are soft.

Serve the next day with some good home made bread. As a lunchtime meal it will provide a nutritious and filling stop gap. If you are eating it as a starter, use it in the traditional manner - to fill you up so you won't want as much meat!

• January 21
  Members' Night
  Don & Peggy Douglas
  Jl. Minyak 10K , Duren Tiga
  tel: 7993971

• February 11
  AGM
  Kristal Hotel
  Diamond Room
  7.30pm

• January 30
  Burns Supper
  Mulia Hotel
  Jl. Asia Afrika
  Senayan

• February 18
  Members' Night
  Bob & Cathy Dover
  Apartment 2903, Kristal Hotel
  Tel: 7507104

• February 4
  Members' Night
  Bob & Cathy Dover
  Apartment 2903, Kristal Hotel
  Tel: 7507104

• March 4 & 18
  Members's Night
  Jim & Elaine Shon
  Jl Pejatan Barat II/11
  Pasar Minggu
  Tel: 71792592

DAMN FEW AND THEY’RE A’ DEID!

The average Englishman in the home he calls his castle, slips into his national costume – a shabby raincoat – patented by Chemist Charles Macintosh from Glasgow, Scotland.

En route to his office he strides along the English lane, surfaced by John Macadam of Ayr, Scotland.

He drives an English car fitted with tyres invented by John Boyd Dunlop, Veterinary Surgeon of Dreghorn, Scotland.

At the office he receives the mail bearing adhesive stamps invented by John Chalmers, Bookseller and Printer of Dundee, Scotland.

During the day he uses the telephone invented by Alexander Graham Bell, born in Edinburgh, Scotland. At home in the evening his daughter pedals her bicycle invented by Kirkpatrick Macmillan, Blacksmith of Thornhill, Dumfriesshire, Scotland.

He watches the news on T.V. an invention of John Logie Baird of Helensburgh, Scotland and hears an item about the U.S. Navy founded by John Paul Jones of Kirkbean, Scotland.

Nowhere can an Englishmam turn to escape the ingenuity of the Scots.

He could take a drink but the Scots make the best in the world.

He could take a rifle and end it all but the breech-loading rifle was invented by Captain Patrick Ferguson of Pitfours, Scotland.

If he escaped death, he could find himself on a operating table injected with Pencillin, discovered by Sir Alexander Fleming of Darvel, Scotland and given Chloroform, an anaesthetic discovered by Sir James Young Simpson, Obstetrician and Gynaecologist of Bathgate, Scotland.

Out of the anaesthetic he would find no comfort in learning that he was as safe as the Bank of England founded by William Paterson of Dumfries, Scotland.

Perhaps his only remaining hope would be to get a transfusion of guid Scottish blood which would entitle him to ask –

Wha’s Like Us?

See if you can answer these questions? Answers at the back of the mag.

How Long:

• Tay
• Spey
• Clyde
• Tweed
• Dee
• Don
• Forth

How High:

• Ben Nevis
• Ben Macdhui
• Braeriach
• Cairntoul
• Cairngorm
• Ben Lawers

How Big: (sq. Mls)

• Loch Lomond
• Loch Ness
• Loch Awe

Apartment 2903, Le Kristal Hotel,
Jl. Tarogong Raya, Cilandak Barat, Jakarta 12430.
Tel: 7507050/60, ext. 2903, Fax 750 7110
Or direct phone and fax 750 7104.
Bob's hand phone number is 0816-718236

Please remember to contact Avril McLeod on 749 1109 if you have a change of address.

How Long:

• Tay (188 Km or 117 miles long)
• Spey (177Km or 110 miles)
• Clyde (170 Km or 106 miles)
• Tweed (154 Km or 96 miles)
• Dee (154Km or 96 miles)
• Don (132Km or 82 miles)
• Forth (106Km or 66 miles)

  (The length quoted is until the River Forth meets its headwaters, its full length is 187 Km or 116 miles, and it is tidal for 85 Km or 53 miles)

How High:

Ben Nevis (1343m or 4406 feet high)
Ben Macdhui (1309m or 4296 feet)
Braeriach (1296m or 4252 feet)
Cairntoul (1293m or 4241 feet)
Cairngorm (1245m or 4084 feet)
Ben Lawers (1214m or 3984 feet)

How Big: (sq. Mls)

Loch Lomond (27 sq. miles in area)
Mean depth is 37m (121 feet) and maximum depth is 190m (623 feet)

Loch Ness (21.8 sq. miles)
Mean depth is 132m (433 feet) and maximum depth is 230m (754 feet)

Loch Awe (14.8 sq. miles)
Mean depth is 32m (105 feet) and maximum depth is 93m (307 feet)

Chieftains Quaiche – Sunday 24^th January – Riverside G.C.

The 1998 Chieftains Quaiche was a great success, which was strange as it was played in 1999.

Before reporting on the winners etc., we must give a great thank you to I.S.C.I. and their Captain Geoff Thompson (shame he is not Scottish) for allowing us to have a joint competition. Thanks must also go out to Mike Ross (who is Scottish) for oragnising everything on the day including the setting up of a great room for the presentations afterwards.

40 players competed for the I.S.C.I. competition with 21 J.S.A.S. members competing for the coveted Chieftains Quaiche.

A soggy day welcomed everyone to the first or tenth tee and this obviously suited the Scots who dominated both competions. The weather did improve however as did my golf, and some very good scores were being produced and some dubious handicaps exsposed.

The winners however played magnificently as their scores confirm and they are:

1^st Place Ian McNally 41 Points

2^nd Place Alexandra Park 40 Points

3^rd Place Chuck Jeffrey 40 Points

Is this the first time the Chieftain of J.S.A.S. has lost to a 17 year old girl at Golf??? Probably!!!! On a sadder note he did manage to beat the Golf Conveynor in the I.S.C.I. knockout competition final with a great score of 82, thus ensuring that all of the I.S.C.I. 1998 competitions were won by Scots.

So that’s all for 1998, Have a great golfing 1999

Mark Manderson ( sports conveynor)

Scots Little Instruction Book

A Wee Glesga Song
Loch Lomond

The wee birdies sing, and the wild flowers spring
While in sunshine the waters are sleepin'
But the broken heart it kens nae second spring
Tho' the waefu' may cease free their greetin'

Known as Indian Peter, he was kidnapped from his native Aberdeenshire and sold into slavery in America. Captured by Cherokee Indians, he escaped to join the army and was then imprisoned by the French. He eventually returned to Edinburgh, publ ' ishing its first street directory, set up a postal service and then successfully sued Aberdeen officials for slave trading.

See if yae cin figure these wan liners oot!