Austin Vs. Goldberg:

Schiavone: "Welcome, ladies and gentlmen, to the geatest matchup in the history of this great sport!"

Ross: "Unfortunately, Bret Hart and The Rock couldn't be here, but this one's still gonna be a slobberknocker, folks!"

Larry Zbysko says nothing, slowly getting up from his chair, looking high as a kite, and salutes the crowd.
       Mark Madden immdiately rushes the broadcast booth to take Larry's spot, but is wrestled down by security and escorted out of the building.

Schiavone: "Goldberg lost the pre-show beer-drinking competition, so he'll come out first."

Goldberg walks out of his dressing room, only to find that all of his security guards are missing. This match being held for charity, after all, and additional expenses had to be cut down.
        Confused, Goldberg tries to make his way to the ring on his own, but gets lost somewhere in the basement levels.

Ross: "I'm not sure what's going on back there, Goldberg's not coming out."

Zbyzsko, in awe before the largest crowd he's ever seen, slowly walks closer to the fans to shake their hands.

Schiavone: "Folks, this is the longest wait of all time! Don't touch that dial!"

Ross: "Hold on a minute, there... what's that on the left side of the ring? Something's coming out of the air duct! It's... it's Goldberg!"

Schiavone: "UNBELIEVABLE!!!"

Ross: "Bill Goldberg is coming out of the sub-level air ducts!"

The crowd reacts to Goldberg's arrival as he crawls out of the opening with a confused look.

Schiavone: "WHAT A MOMENT!!"

Mezmerised by the huge crowd before him, Zbyzsko is slowly lured into them, with a spaced out look about him, as they lift them above their heads ... Zbyzsko body surfs the crowd in peaceful bliss and is never seen again.

Ross: "We've lost Larry."

Suddenly, the sound of breaking glass booms through the arena as Stone Cold Steve Austin's entrance music begins - and the crowd goes wild.

Ross: "It's the Rattlesnake! Business is about to pick up! Listen to that crowd!"

Schiavone: "I... don'thearanything."

Confusing him for Goldberg, the pyro techs light up the sparks shower on the walkway as Austin approaches the target zone. Caught off-guard, Austin freaks, realizes what just happened, and runs to the east side corner of the arena to beat one of the techies responsible for the lights show.

Ross: "Oh, my. In the WWF, a mistake like that would have cost those gentlemen their jobs."

Schiavone: "Here in the WCW, mistakes like those are considered creative booking."

Austin makes his way to the ring, climbs up to the mat, yells his favourite cookie recipe at Goldberg, and then goes up a ring post to slaute the crowd, both arms extended.
              Stone Cold climbs back down and walks up to Goldberg, nost to nose, and finishes yelling that cookie recipe at him. Goldberg just keeps staring him down, wishing he had paper and pen in hand.

Schiavone: "Look at the raw intensity in both men's eyes... Intensity like we have never seen before, and will likely NEVER SEE AGAIN, FOLKS!"

Austin pushes Goldberg back.

Schiavone: "WHAT A MOVE!"

Goldberg pushes Austin right back.

Schiavone: "That's it. This match is over. Stick a fork in him, he's done."

Ross: "Uh... Tony, those are just shoves."

Schiavone: "Sorry, it's just more action than I'm used to seeing in a main event."

Both men lock up.

Schiavone: "Uh-oh."

Ross: "Oh, damn. I was afraid this would happen."

Schiavone: "They... locked up, Jim"

Ross: "I knowthat, Tony."

Schaivone(whispering): "I lost sight of who's who."

Ross: "So did I. Just wing it."

Schiavone: "The... bald guy gets the upper hand."

Ross: "And the... goateed wonder is down on one knee."

Schiavone: "Uh, one of them just got a boot to the mid-section."

Ross: "Uh..."

Schiavone: "Uh... YES! I think I see a tatoo!"

Ross: "Oh thank God!"

Schiavone: "It's Goldberg! Goldberg throws Austin over the top rope!"

Austin lands on the guard rail, and cuts himself mildly on the forehead while doing so. A tiny drop of blood makes its way down his brow.

Schiavone: "OH MY GOD, WHAT THE @#$% IS THAT?!"

Ross: "Calm down, Tony. It's just a bit of blood. This is a contact sport, it's perfectly norm-"

Schiavone: "MAKE IT STOP! BY GOD, MAKE IT STOP!"

Jim Ross slaps Tony Schiavone across the face.

Ross: "Get a hold of yourself, for heaven's sake!"

Austin pulls Goldberg out of the ring by his feet, as both men beat each other up with closed fists.
        Then, the crowd turns its attention towards a dark figure looming in the rafters high above the arena.

Schiavone: "Look! It's Sting! IT'S STING!!"

Ross: "And he's got a bird with him!"

Sting signals the bird to fly to the ring to deliver his message, but it instead flies down into a crowd and attacks a fan.

Schiavone: "Oh my..."

Ross: "Er... Was that suppoed to happen?"

Security finally succeeds in rstraining the bird, as medics are called in to carry its victim to the back for some medical attention.
        Sting slides down a cable toward the ring below, but gets stuck about a third of the way down.

Ross: "Uh..."

Schiavone(whispering): "Ignore the problem, it'll go away."

Everyone forgets about Sting as Goldberg hurls Austin onto the nearest ringpost from the outside. He then picks him up and tosses him back into the ring.

Ross: "I've never seen Stone Cold dominated this way!"

Goldberg climbs in and crouches as he prepares to deliver his spear. The crowd reacts accordingly.

Schiavone: "Listen to that crowd! This is the GREATEST crowd in the history of our great sport!"

Goldberg lunges forward and delivers the spear on Austin!

Ross: "Austin is down! Austin is down!"

Schiavone: "INCREDIBLE! Not since I was last up for a raise has someone gone down so fast!"

The fans once again turn their attention to the rafters atop the arena... this time, it's Mankind!

Ross: "Up in the rafters, it's Mankind!"

Schiavone: "THIS IS GREATEST MOMENT IN PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING!!"

Mankind suicide-jumps to Stone Cold's aid ... says hi to Sting on the way down ... but ends up falling clear through the ring mat.

Schiavone: "OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!!"

KER-PLAT!!

Ross: "Oh my goodness - Mankind has just jumped over 200 feet and gone right through the mat!!"

Schiavone faints

Ross: "...Tony?"

Distracted by the loud thud and the Mankind-shaped hole in the centre of the ring, Goldberg doesn't see Austin walk up behind him.
         Austin turns Goldberg around, kicks him in the mid-section, and applies the Stone Cold Stunner!

Ross: "This is it!"

Austin goes for the cover! As the ref begins his count, the ring fills with smoke... When the smoke dissipates, Goldberg and the ref are gone, and Warrior stands with a microphone at hand. The ref rings the bell to signal a no-contest for cause of etheral kidnapping via teleportation.

Warrior: "Stone Cold Steve Austin... troughout time, warriors have stepped forward and risen to the challenge. Men and women who set their vocational locale in stone; using their lifetime to achieve what most others only reve about. In tghe optics of the reveur, successful achievements always seem as if they are done effortlessly, unaccompanied by travail, but rather, companioned by luck and happenstance"...

Austin looks round at the crowd to see if anyone else understands what he man is saying. The audience starts flooding the ring with debris, as one soft drink container accidently knocks Warrior's hidden earphone out, which falls and rolls into the gaping hole at his side created by Mankind's freefall.
         Warrior now just stands with a blank look on his face, a mix of confusion and dumbfoundedness about him.

Ross: "Tony, wake up! Something's happened to the Warrior!"

The crowd, as well as Austin, wait for Warrior to finish his thoughts. But all Warrior can do is stare blindly ahead of him, with a little spittle making its way down the side of his mouth.

He begins to snarl...

And then grunt...

And then snarl again...

Austin has heard enough - and delivers the Stunner as the crowd erupts! The Rattlesnake's music booms through the arena as he bends down to share more of his mother's recipes with the Warrior.
         But the arena turns red, as Kane's entrance theme replaces Austin's.

Ross: "Through Hellfire and Brimstone. It's Kane!"

Kane walks to the ring, painfully stepping over the top rope despite the fact that it would be evidently far easier for him to go over the second, but Austin jumps on him and unmasks him before he can make a move.

Ross: "Good Lord, it's... Rey Mysterio Jr!"

The crowds gasps as Austin unmasks Rey Jr...

Ross: "What the.. it's Max Mini!"

Austin takes off the Mini mask, and finds nothing. Only a heavy pile of accumulated costumes and masks at his feet.

An awkward silence takes over the arena.

That is, until the next interruption, as Hollywood Hogan's ego rushes the ring, quickly followed by Hogan himself, Kevin Nash and Lex Luger. That's all the encouragement the other wrestlers backstage needed to invade the ring as well. Every single wrestler in the arena is now in the ring in a gigantic screwjob battle royal! From Road Dogg to Ric Flair, they're beating the tar out of each other... except for Too Much and Perry Saturn, who remain backstage, complimenting each other's attire...

Ross: "We're out of time! This one's over, folks! On behalf of the unconscious Tony Schiavone and Larry Zbysko - wherever he may be - have a good night!"