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its funny how i need
you when i'm broken, the rest of the time i think that i'm alright. the
streetlights fade from view as i run away
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January 4th, 2005 - Sincere
How many people these days even know how to be sincere, I wonder?
Relationships are maintained at a healthy level as long as there is
something to gain, even if the gain is simply humour or amusement. But
as soon as the gain, is gone, so the friendship usually follows, either
degrading or disappearing totally. People are always telling me to just
be myself, and people will naturally like me for who I am. Well,
apparantly 'myself' is too complicated for most people, and so when I
show a little bit of the depth - both good and bad - that really makes
me who I am, people stop paying attention.
You see, as long as I'm playing the part of the happy-all-the-time,
humourous, nothing-is-wrong-with-me kinda guy, things are fine. But why
is that as soon as you run into a problem, or are going through a rough
spot, even depression, the 'good' friends seem to all but disappear?
They don't have time to 'deal' with you. You are too much of an
inconvenience to them because you aren't happy, and of course, why
would they want to hang out with somebody who's feeling down? That
wouldn't be much fun. And of course, it's all about fun.
There are, of course, exceptions.
Every now and then I meet somebody who is genuine, somebody who will be
your friend even when you're a miserable wretch, not because they have
anything to gain, but because they care. People with sincere hearts put
the needs of their friends before their own. They'll go out of their
way to help, or to comfort, or to simply listen. You would hope that
the world would be more full of these people, but sadly they seem to be
the minority. Even in my Christian circles, rarely have I found these
truly genuine friends. I do consider myself lucky to have found some
this year. I suppose that it makes me cherish them even more, but I
still lament the abscence of sincerity in the majority of people I
encounter.
Well, a new semester brings renewed hope, and hopefully some
possibilities for meaningful relationships that go beyond the surface
and dig deep. I guess we'll see...
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