its funny how i need you when i'm broken, the rest of the time i think that i'm alright. the streetlights fade from view as i run away LATEST - PREVIOUS - NEXT - ARCHIVES January 30th, 2005 - Here at the Start      Ok, I know New Year's has come and gone, and it's almost February now, but this post was originally supposed to be up earlier in the month. My last post sorta touched on the issue a bit, near the end, but I'm going to expand on it. So here goes.      It's a new year, a new semester, and a chance for a fresh start. I don't usually make resolutions at the start of the year, but I felt that this one was worth making. It's a simple thing, really, yet it's amazing how difficult it can be to keep. And here it is: be positive! I tell myself that I trust in God to provide for me, to give me what I need, and that I trust Him when He says He loves me. But to what extent have I been living that out? I realize now that I've been focusing too much on others for that feeling of worth we all so desperately need. I constantly turn to relationships, both romantic and friendships, to find satisfaction and a place to belong. I'm always getting let down, because people, myself included, screw up. I can't keep relying on others to make me feel good about myself. I already have a reason: God made me, and 'God Don't Make No Junk!'. Now I'm not saying that I'm not going to trust my friends, but I can't depend on them to always make me feel good. My sense of worth can only came from one place: my Creator. The one who made me the way I am, and likes who I am because He made me this way. So far, focusing on that has actually helped, a lot. I feel much more positive about everything going on in my life, and I actually haven't been stressing about much of anything lately, which is a first. So, life is good. I'm going to live like that's true. I'm standing at the start of a new adventure: happiness. C.W.