PAIRING : Buffy/Spike

RATING : NC17

SPOILERS : Riley is GONE!

DISCLAIMER : I do not own these characters. Nor do I own "Sleep to Dream Her" by the Dave Matthews Band.

WARNINGS : Spike kidnaps her and chains her. He does not rape her (meaning penetration) but she is held against her will as he makes (what he considers) love to her with his fingers and mouth. It ends on a romantic note. He doesn't physically hurt her, but she's pretty pissed off at him. It's not cruelty. He wants to make her feel good.

THANKS TO: To Sineya who said, he would kidnap her, tie her up, and make love to her until she saw it his way.

DEDICATION: OMG how do I even put into words how much I love evil willow? I bow at her gorgeously evil feet and worship the beta ground she works on. Without her, I am nothing. Without her, this fic would be in the dreaded IN PROG-STOPPED fic folder along with my other half finished pieces of crap!

            I didn’t used to be this pathetic. Time was, I’d just rip her throat out, but that time is over. Those other two slayers didn’t have what she does. She’s magnificent. And it makes me sick that I even think about her, that way. Soldier boy was right, who am I kidding? I’m stuck watchin’ her from her fuckin’ window, smoking cigarettes I once would’ve singed her skin with. Dru’s right, I have gone soft. It’s not like *she* doesn’t share some of the blame for that. She said I wasn’t the man she loved, but I never was. She loved him. So I guess in that statement, she was right. Oh well, that’s over. It took a while, but it’s over; or maybe it never began. It was just her attempt to make him jealous, and it didn’t work because he knew she cared more about him. But no matter. That’s over. *So* over.

            I’ve moved on. To the bloody impossible dream. Not fair is what it is. Why should *Lilac* get the privilege of shagging her? Why should he get to thrust inside her tight heat? Why should he get to have her legs wrapped around him? Why should he get her nails on his back? Bloody not fair. I want it. I want *her*. For the first time in my entire existence, I want something for myself. Anything I ever wanted before was for other people, to please them. This is for me. She is for me.

            And you know what? Spikey boy, you’re gonna take her. And suddenly a plan is in my head and I’m on my way to Willy’s to enlist a little help.

            Patrol. Not the funnest thing to do at night, but what else is there? I’m sick of everything. I’m sick of duty. I’m sick of working my ass off for nothing. I’m sick of giving my entire life to slaying, and not being able to be happy without it interfering. Why can’t I have one measly little boyfriend? Why can’t I have someone to hold me, and to make love to me? “IS THAT SO IMPOSSIBLE? IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK? I’M A FUCKING WARRIOR! DON’T I DESERVE SOME HAPPINESS?” And before I know it, I’ve been knocked to the ground by a blow to the head I never saw coming. “Guess not…” I whisper as the darkness comes over me.

            I hate to do this to her. I really do, but I pay the demon I asked to knock her out for me. I lift her off the ground, carefully. I’ve got a plan this time. I may be slow, but this one will be good. I hope.

            First thing I notice is that my head fucking hurts. Second thing: I’m blindfolded. This will be fun. I’ve never been blindfolded while fighting. Third thing I notice? I’m chained up. One of my legs is free, that’s of the good. But my wrists are chained to the…the bed? Which would lead to the fourth thing, I’m naked. None of this sounds too good for Buffy.

            Someone is in the room, trying to be quiet, but not doing very well. It’s not a room. I know that. It’s a crypt, or the sewers, or the mansion. The mansion? No. No one goes there now. I think Angel still owns it. This is good, fucking slayer senses, and I get whacked over the head, and I’m lying naked in a bed somewhere. But it’s a bed, not concrete or something.

            Okay, let’s see. “Hello?” No answer. “HELLO?” I scream. Luckily I’m not gagged. We must be far away from everything. “Look, whoever you are, untie me and I promise I’ll kill you fast and be done with it.” Nothing. “What do you want?” I ask, but whoever it is doesn’t answer.

            Okay, I’ve gotten out of worse situations than this, right? I stopped the end of the world like five times at least. This should be easy. I’ve got one leg free. That’s a start. Oh fuck. Whoever it is just secured that foot down too. Well shit. This is just perfect. What human does this? Kidnaps? That’s what this is. I’ve been kidnapped. Of all the lousy fucking things to happen. I know the Powers That Be are laughing somewhere. Poor little slayer, let’s let her be kidnapped. If I’m *really* lucky, maybe I’ll be slowly tortured to death. That would be fun. Another entry in the diaries for Giles.

            No. Don’t think that way. I’ve gotta get outta here. It would help if I knew who the hell it is that’s in the room with me. But slayer senses don’t do me any good. They’ve been wacky since Riley left. I haven’t been eating as much I usually do and I’ve been working out way more. My body is tired. And so am I.

            I wonder what she’s thinkin’ about. She thinking about Soldier Boy? Or Angel? Or school? She is most definitely not thinking it’s me. Good.

“Look, whoever you are, just unchain me and leave me the hell alone. I’m not in the mood.”

            Sorry. You’re gonna be here for a while. I sit down on the bed next to her and look over her beautiful naked body. She’s a tad on the thin side, if you ask me. Doesn’t anyone pay attention to these things? Perhaps it’s her beloved’s departure. Who knows? Who cares? I guess I do.

            I put my hand on her cheek gently and she turns away. I let it slide down her neck, down to her left breast.

            OH SHIT! FUCK! COLD HANDS! AND VERY NAUGHTY HANDS! I scream and yank on the chains as hard as I can. It doesn’t work. I try kicking free and I can’t. I’m completely helpless. “LET ME GO!” I scream. This fucking sucks. Not only are the Powers gonna kill me, they’re gonna rape me for spite. Great.

            Cold hands. Cold hands. What if it’s Angel? What if he heard about Riley, and came back? If I don’t know it’s him, if he can’t see me, maybe it’s not pure happiness. Could that happen? Is that even possible? No. It’s not Angel. He wouldn’t scare me like this. He would find a way to let me know that I’m safe. And I don’t *feel* safe. So, it’s not Angel. As much as I want to believe it is, I don’t feel him. It’s not Angel.

            But if it’s not Angel, who the hell could it be? Except for some random vampire. But vampires don’t usually fuck slayers. Unless he doesn’t know I’m a slayer, perhaps he thinks I’m just a meal. No. I threatened to kill him. But what girl wouldn’t, when found in this situAAAAAAAAtion.

            Cold fingers rubbing my crotch. Not good. “STOP THIS NOW!” I scream into the darkness I see as I try and twist away from the hand. I scream again. “HELP ME!!!!” I shriek but I’m sure no one can hear me. Whoever this is, he’s not stupid. Magically enhanced chains… it’s a message. I’m being told that it’s known that I’m the slayer.

            Okay, Spikey boy, have to make this good for her. I lean over her and lave a nipple with my tongue, and fuck if it isn’t the sweetest thing I’ve ever tasted. Better than blood. She screams and pulls on the chains again but I continue my assault on her breasts. She moans in protest and I can tell she’s fighting it. She can feel the attraction between us. I know *I* do.

            I sit up and grab the rose from the table. I tickle her forehead before painting her face with it. I run it over the blindfold and over her nose and lips. She inhales the scent before I trail it down over her jaw and neck, down to the valley between her breasts. I slide it around her navel and over her sex and down her right leg.

            I can smell the faintest scent permeating the air. She’s trying to fight it, though. “What the fuck is this?” She demands. “If you’re gonna rape me, then do it.” She yanks on the chains again, but I thought that part out completely. She can’t break them.

            I watch her lips quiver in fear and anticipation. I want to kiss them, but I don’t. We’re gonna play this my way so I run my finger gently over her arms to her hands, trying to reassure her, but she just jerks on the chains, while trying to fight her body.

            As if it isn’t bad enough, he’s gonna make me like it. If it’s a he. It could be a vampiress, I suppose. I wanna cry, but I won’t give in. I won’t. Can’t break me. If stealing Angel’s soul didn’t break me, this isn’t going to. I scream for help again and keep yanking on the chains. I can’t pull them. I can’t break them. I can’t get free.

            I shiver as I feel a drop of something on my hand. “WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?” I scream while trying to pull away, but realize it’s hot oil as hands start massaging it into my skin.

            “Who are you?” I ask. “If this is some sick joke…” And suddenly I feel lips on mine. Sweet lips, grazing my mouth, asking me permission to kiss me while hands continue working the oil into my skin.

            “Shh…” The voice says. It’s male. For sure, it’s a male voice.

            I can smell the oil. It’s vanilla scented, my favorite. “Are you… gonna hurt me?” I ask, not really wanting to know this answer. This *could* be some kind of ploy to make the mental torture worse.

            “Never.” He whispers. Gods, who is that? I should know who it is.

            “Do I know you?”

            No answer. Only more oil on my elbows and shoulders.

            “What do you want?”

            No answer. Only more oil on my feet and gods it feels good, hands, massaging my skin. I feel small shivers being sent up my spine as his hands work my upper thighs, ever so close to… NO! I’m being held against my will.

            “If you don’t wanna hurt me, then LET ME GO!” I yank on the chains and move away from his hands. “This isn’t the way to get my affection. LET ME GO!”

            She’s curious. She may be fighting what she feels, but she’s curious. And that’s good.

            Luckily, I’ve been working on my American accent and can pull it off rather effortlessly. Still, I don’t wanna say *too* much, just in case. I graze her lips again and I can feel the hot oil on my hands. I’ve worked her scent into my skin now. I sniff my hands and can smell her as much as I can smell me.

            She whimpers as I pull away from the kiss. I look over her naked form. She’s so beautiful. Perfect in every way.

            “Just let me go.” She whimpers. “What do you want from me?”

            “To love you.” I answer.

            “I don’t even *know* you.”

            “I know you.” I reply. “Just let me love you.” I whisper into her ear before taking the rose again to her skin. It takes the trails my hands did earlier. Then, I lean over and press an open kiss to her shoulder before moving down to the tips of her fingers. I press my mouth just above her nipple and kiss to the soft side of her breast before moving achingly, slowly, and back towards the nipple. She moans and I smile against her sweet skin.

            I engulf her nipple with my mouth and suck gently. She whimpers and yanks against the chains. I release the nipple and press open-mouthed kisses to her navel before moving down over her thigh and knee to the tips of her toes. I crawl around the bed and start my way up the second half of her body. By the time I make it to her mouth, she’s whimpering and whining, almost ready to beg.

            Oh god… I don’t know what to make of this. I’ve never been so excited. I shouldn’t be. Gods, I shouldn’t be. I’m just waiting for the bite, or the knife… but I’m still… I want this. I’ve needed this… someone who would think of this. Why couldn’t I have found this before? Why am I afraid of knowing who it is?

            But I’m still getting wet from his mouth, and hands, and I’m actually starting to cry from the… pleasure? Worship? Adoration? I don’t know what to call it. What am I thinking?? I shouldn’t be enjoying this! This is sick and twisted. When I get home, I’m seriously going to have words with my body.

            He kisses me and I kiss him back, before I can stop myself. It’s just been so long since I’ve been kissed. Suddenly, I feel a tickle under my nose. I laugh as it trails over my body lightly. It’s not the rose. It’s… a feather? Something light.

            “NO! Please, no…” I whimper as he tickles the hairs on my sex.

            His mouth returns to mine and I can’t stop myself from kissing him back. He’s an excellent kisser, experienced and giving. I wonder if he’s a considerate lover? OH GOD! I shouldn’t be thinking this. What the fuck is wrong with me? He *kidnapped* me. He’s gonna *rape* me.

            “Stop. Please stop.”

            “Sure about that?” He asks.

            My breath catches as I feel two of his fingers with the hot oil slowly entering my body. He’s massaging me from the inside. I feel his fingers applying pressure as they ease their way inside my body. “Oh god…” I cry out and arch into his touch.

            I’m quivering now and tingly with anticipation I shouldn’t feel. He starts massaging my spot, the one I’ve never found, Riley never found… Angel never had the chance. He shouldn’t be touching me. “Stop.” I try to yank myself free. Damn my body! “Sto- OH GODS!” I scream and I come around his fingers. Waves upon waves of pleasure hit me all at once and I scream as I come again.

            As I come down, I realize what happened. He made me like it. He… before I know it, I’m starting to cry and I just can’t stop some tears from escaping.

            She’s so beautiful when she comes. Her face contorts and then just… is joyous. I wonder what her eyes look like. I kiss her mouth as she recovers from three orgasms. I wonder if she’s ever had three in a row like that. I wo-

            Slayer’s crying. That wasn’t supposed to happen. “Slayer, don’t cry-” *SHIT!*

            There’s only one person who calls me slayer.

            “Slayer?!” She asks while pulling harder on the chains. “SPIKE?!” She practically screams and I back away from her. I’ve never seen someone go from sad to angry as quick as she just did. “Spike?” She asks after she gains some composure. “Take the blindfold off.” I don’t move. I don’t want her to know. If I leave now, there will always be some doubt in her mind. If I leave now, I can be home by the time anyone finds her. I can have an alibi. I can be fucking Harm when she shows up.

            Fuck! If I leave now, I’ll never know… if it worked. I’ll never know if she finally felt what we have, what there is between us. She *has* to feel it.

            “Take this blindfold off or I’ll kick your ass before staking you.” I move closer to her, but can’t… “SPIKE.” She screams and I can feel her eyes cutting through the blindfold with evil rays of light. She already knows. I can’t get out of this. And I still do have her chained up.

            “SPIKE!” I scream again. Damn him! “WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS, SPIKE?! Take this fucking blindfold off and unchain me. I’m so gonna kill you! This is fucking twisted! You need help of the dusty kind!”

            “Slayer.”

            “SHUT UP AND UNCHAIN ME, NOW!”

            “Buffy, just relax, please. The game’s up and you know it’s me, so you know I’m not gonna hurt you. So just relax.” I say. I place my hands on her feet and slowly start to massage again.

            “RELAX?” She tries to kick me off, but she’s no match for the chains I found. “HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO RELAX WHEN I’M BEING HELD AGAINST MY WILL?!”

            “I wasn’t trying to make you cry. I just… I want to make you feel what I feel for you. I need you to see it.”

            “Yeah right! You wanna hurt me the only way you can, by making my body like you. Well, it won’t make me like you. In fact, it makes me hate you even more.”

            “You don’t mean that.”

            “Yes I do. NOW LET ME GO!”

            “NO!” I growl before taking a breath to control my temper. “I’m not letting you go until you understand. This is real.”

            I want to soothe her. She wasn’t supposed to cry or be upset. This wasn’t what I had in mind. I just wanted to make her feel good. She needs that and she needs some relaxation. Should I? Just a moment's hesitation before decision is made. To share a part of myself to try and soothe a part of her. I smile slightly and whisper, “I know I’ll miss her later. Wish I could bend my love to hate her. Wish I could be her creator. To twist her arms now.”

            She continues to yank on the chains as I move up to her calves. “She stares up at the stars when the stars fell from her hair. Then I bent down to collect them and then she was gone.”

            “Spike, stop it. NOW!”

            I massage more oil into her upper thighs, not even thinking about her sex. Okay, so thinking about it, but not going near it. She needs to trust me again.

            “Spike, let me go.” She practically growls at me.

            “Oh, I sleep just to dream her. I beg the night just to see her. That my only love should be her. Just to lie in her arms.”

            I lean in and graze her lips gently with my own. “GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!” She screams as she spits in my face. I wipe it away. “IF YOU’RE GONNA FUCK ME, JUST GET IT OVER WITH! You’ve made your point. You can hurt me without setting the chip off. But don’t even *think* that I’m gonna let you kiss me.”

            I put my hands gently around her head and untie the fabric. I pull it off her and drop it on the ground. Her eyes are gleaming red, seething even, worse than any demon I’ve ever seen. She stares at me with contempt and hatred and I’m starting to think this wasn’t such a good idea. She *has* to understand. “I’m not gonna fuck you, Buffy. And I’m not gonna hurt you. I don’t wanna hurt you, in any way. I wouldn’t hurt you if my life depended on it.”

            “I don’t believe that. What the fuck do you think you’re doing? You think you get the right to touch me? You think this is some kind of game? Some new kind of torture?! Because I do-”

             “I’m sorry.” I say.

            “PROVE IT! Let me go!” She says with poison in her voice.

            What the fuck is this? Why won’t he let me go? I look around and notice for the first time that I’m surrounded by candles. Vanilla ones.

            I feel his hands back on my body, on my arms this time, massaging the oil into my dry skin. With all the slaying lately, I haven’t gotten a chance to really care for my skin. But why the hell is he doing this?

            “Spi-”

            “Oh, I came there to find out, find out she’d made up her mind! Oh my arms are all tied up. To me she was blind.”

            I look at him as he touches me gently. Gods, if I was stupid, I’d actually think that he gave a damn about me. “Spike. Let. Me. Go.” I demand again.

            “This space between us, where wingless dreams fall earless. Will you not bear me witness, with your back to me now? It seemed so unnerving…” His lips brush over my sex gently before I feel his fingers sliding inside again. “Still somehow deserving…”

            “Spike, what is this? What part of NO don’t you understand?!”

            “That she could hold my heart so tightly, and still not see me here.”

            “Hold your heart? I don’t hold your heart. I wanna stake your heart, now more than ev-” Oh fuck… he found the spot again. I arch into his touch and look down to see him smiling at me.

            “Oh, I sleep just to dream her.” He places a gentle kiss on my navel. “Beg the night just to see her.” Another kiss on my abdomen. “That my only love should be her.” Over my sex. “Just to lie in her arms.”

            And there’s his tongue, sweeping inside me. “Spike.” I moan, and then cringe for actually having called his name out in pleasure. Fuck… I buck my hips again as I feel his tongue moving inside me. Oh gods… I…

            She screams again as she comes around my tongue. I love the taste of her, the feel of her under my fingers… If I die when I unchain her, I’ll be able to go a happy vamp, just to have been able to touch such a glorious beauty.

            I slip two fingers inside her and achingly slowly move them in and out of her. I look back up and see her face, post-orgasm. For once, she’s actually slightly peaceful. She deserves that.

            “Sp-”

            “I know I’ll miss her later.” I whisper as I place a light kiss on her navel.

            “Wish I could bend my love to hate her.”

            Love? Spike has love for me?

            “Wish I could be her creator.” His fingers quicken their pace and I stifle a moan as I stare into his eyes. Fuck… I can’t take it anymore. He’s breaking down my will to fight this. I thrash around as I come again and again, as if my body wants to completely humiliate me.

            “To be the light in her eyes.” He whispers as he stands. He’s completely dressed. I didn’t realize that before.

            “Why are you doing this to me?” She asks as I approach her.

            “Not *to* you; *for* you. Because… I…” I gently caress the side of her breast and she doesn’t flinch at this. “It’s crazy, really. It’s insane and I know it is. But there’s something between us. It’s why I can’t seem to leave and you can’t seem to finish me off. There’s something very real between us, Slayer. I just… I wanted to show you that.”

            “Spike,” she says, but I can’t seem to look at her when I whisper, “I love you.”

            “You’re delusional!” She accuses. “You think this is love? YOU THINK CHAINING SOMEONE UP IS LOVE? You’re even more messed up than I thought! The only time I’ll ever love you is when you’re dust. NOW LET ME GO!”

            “NO! You need to understand! I love you, Buffy. I *love* you. SO much it hurts inside and drives me insane.”

            “You’re insane all right, way more than Dru ever was.”

            “Buffy, it’s not insane. Two people, working together…”

            “WE DON’T WORK TOGETHER! WE’RE ENEMIES!”

            “You can’t deny it. There’s something between us. Chemistry.”

            “Chemistry? There’s a difference between enjoying something reluctantly and *really* enjoying something. There’s a difference between being *forced* to enjoy something, and actually wanting it.”

            “I know that now.” I say. This was a mistake. I thought touching her, tasting her, making her feel… I thought it would make her love me, or make me realize I didn’t love her. It accomplished neither of those things and now she’s gonna kill me.

            “Good. Now let me go!” She commands as she yanks on the chains again.

            I nod and she lays still as I unlock each manacle.

            I rub my wrists for a minute and sit up. “I’m sorry.” He says again. “I just… I thought if I… if I tied you up and made love to you, you’d realize that I’m not crazy.”

            “No, Spike. You *are* crazy. You’re crazy to even think you’d survive this.”

            “I know. I shouldn’t have even thought that… it was stupid.” He walks over to a chair and brings me my pile of neatly folded clothes with a stake on top.

            I expect him to run, but he doesn’t. He just stands there, arms folded. I slip my skirt on and my top. I slip into my shoes and stand up. He doesn’t back away. I take the stake and twist it in my hands. “How dare you! Whatever you think you feel, you’re wrong! You’re *not* good. You don’t have a soul!”

            “That doesn’t mean I can’t love.”

            “You make me sick.” I say. “You profess your love and practically *rape* me?” I take the stake and I rush at him and he just stands there. I press it into his skin and he winces at the pinch. “Stay away from me.” I order and then leave.

            She didn’t kill me. Why didn’t she kill me?

            Spike loves me? How can that even be?

            I get home and take a hot shower. I try to wash it away and scream at myself for even thinking about how good it felt. How good he *made* me feel. No, it wasn’t about him wanting to make me feel good. It couldn’t have been. He wanted to hurt me without hurting me…

            Then why was he dressed? He was completely dressed, except for his duster. We were surrounded by candles, vanilla, my favorite. After I woke up from unconsciousness, he kissed me, massaged oil into my skin, relaxed my body more than I ever have been since I was called, made me feel things I’d never felt, and made me come over and over. Then he let me go.

            He could have killed me. He could have paid a demon to do it. Or Harmony. But he didn’t. He…

Oh, I sleep just to dream her

Beg the night just to see her

That my only love should be her

Just to lie in her arms

            I lay down and try to sleep but I keep seeing his eyes and it occurs to me, he was worshipping me with them. His voice keeps haunting me. That, and his eyes. The way he looked when he spoke those words to me… wish I could bend my love to hate her.

            Suddenly, it hits me…

            He’s sleeping when I walk in. Sleep just to dream her. That’s what he said. I pull the covers off his body and can’t help admiring the beauty of him. He sleeps nude and it’s my turn to look at him. I run my fingers gently up his leg. He wakes with a start.

            “Slayer… change your mind did you?” He asks and I can almost see a little bit of fear in his eyes.

            “Huh?”

            “About staking me?”

            “Actually, I need to know what it is that you were quoting to me earlier.” False pretense, Buffy, considering that you’re making him hard by touching him, but turnabout *is* fair play.

            “A poem.” He confesses.

            “A poem?”

            “A poem I wrote… for you.”

            “You write poetry for me?” I ask, taken aback. The only time anyone has ever made anything for me, was when Angelus drew pictures of me, but that was hardly romantic. But a poem? From Spike? For me?

            “I can’t get you out of my head. I’m drowning in you, Summers. I’m drowning... I close my eyes and see you, I dream about you… I’m sorry about today… I’m sorry I was crazy enough to believe I was good enough to hold you and touch you and taste you.”

            “I’ll give you that, you *are* crazy.”

            “I know. I’ll stay away. I promise I’ll stay away.”

            “No, I meant you were crazy to think that you could chain me up and blindfold me and touch me and make me want to make love to you. It doesn’t work that way, Spike. It didn’t. You might have made my body feel, but you didn’t make me trust you.”

            “Then why are you here?”

            “Because… because I haven’t been kissed in so long. Sure, Riley was here… but he didn’t kiss me. Not really. He didn’t treat me like a woman, he treated me like a girl. He didn’t take the time to know my body.” He looking at me with surprise and shock, like I’m insane. Perhaps I am, perhaps we both are. “*I’m* the one who’s crazy for even coming back here. I should run. I should dust and run… but after the way you made me feel like a… like a goddess… I wanna feel that again.” I confess. “You’re not the crazy one, *I* am.”

            “Really?” He perks his eyebrows up. I nod hesitantly. “You’re not gonna kill me?”

            “Unless you spontaneously combust during sex… and of course if you do, there’s definitely an ick factor…” His lips silence me.

            Buffy is *kissing* me. Buffy has her hands on my body. Buffy wants to make *love* to me. Buffy is laying on top of me. “Slayer-” I whisper, but she pulls away quickly.

            “You call me Slayer while making love to me and I *will* kill you.”

            “Buffy,” I whisper as I see her eyes fill with want.

            “Better.” Her warm breasts press against me and I feel her sex rubbing against me, dripping on me. Now *I’m* the one whimpering from the feel of it all.

            “Oh, I came there to find out,” I kiss her again before trailing my lips down her body to the soft pillows of her breasts. “Find out she’d made up her mind!” I run my arms up hers and whisper, “Oh my arms are all tied up. To me she was blind.”

            She moans as I press kisses to her hardening nipples. “So beautiful, Buffy. You’re so beautiful.” I glance up at her and for once I don’t see hate or disgust. She *wants* to be here. She *wants* to make love with me. “Oh, I sleep just to dream her.” I pepper kisses over her collarbone. “Beg the night just to see her.” Around to nibble on her ears as I rub sensuously against her. “That my only love should be her.” Kiss her deeply while watching her eyes in rapture. “Just to lie in her arms.”

            He’s practically crying, I think. The look in his eyes… like he sees me for who I really am. I feel his cool skin pressing against mine. He starts kissing down again my body but I take his face in my hands. “No. Taste later. Inside now. I need you inside now.” I whimper, arching my body upward.

            He nods as he sweeps up my body. His lips claim mine and I feel him start to stretch me. Oh gods! This is what Heaven feels like… I’m sure… I look into his eyes and I think I actually *see* Heaven… love… joy… bliss… adoration…

            I shift my body and he sinks in deeper, completely. “Oh god, Buffy…” He moans as his eyes cross before rolling up. I laugh seductively as he starts to move inside me.

            “Harder.” I whisper and he complies as he thrusts inside. I can feel him, gliding in and out of me, where he just massaged, earlier. Fuck! He feels good inside.

            She feels so good from the inside, better than I thought she would. “Oh god, Luv.” I whimper into her ear as I start purring. I can’t hold it back. I feel her hands on my chest, running over my shoulders, down over my blades, down my rib cage and the sides of my thighs. Her hands are all over me, helping to guide me into her.

            “Come deeper, Spike.” She whispers as she angles her hips differently. Oh god! This is Heaven. I found Heaven in Buffy Summers! She whimpers and is panting and moaning, as she writhes beneath me.

            She squeezes me and I can’t take it anymore. I start just pounding into her and she meets me thrust for thrust as we prepare to fall. I slide my hands down between our bodies and pinch her clit, which sends her over. She screeches and bucks as she comes and I growl loudly, which makes her come again.

            Ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod…. Ohgodohgodohgod… I just made love with Spike, and thoroughly enjoyed it. He collapses beside me and I struggle to even out my breathing. Even as I pant, I know nothing will ever be the same now.

            I can’t simply walk away from this and write it off as a weak moment. I felt too much…

            She curls up next to me and rests her head on my chest before she starts to laugh.

            “What so funny, Luv?”

            “Who knew being kidnapped could end up having been a good thing?” I laugh too, until she looks up completely serious. “But lets not make a habit of it, ‘kay?”

            “Agreed.” I say. “I love you, Buffy Summers.”

            “I might just love you too, Spike. Some day.”

            And for now, that’s good enough for me.

~El Fin~