Kevin sighed and looked around the empty room. Thank God, they're all gone, he thought. He moved a couple of pieces of the furniture around and sat down on a couch. A couch? Who purchased a couch? He really couldn't remember. He and Howie had gotten kind of crazy on the orders once it all started. At this point, he didn't care who had ordered the couch, he was just relieved that he had a comfortable place to relax.
He eyed the cell phone guiltily and considered calling Tori immediately, but Nick had kind of thrown him off a little by correctly insinuating that those were his true intentions once everyone was gone. Am I THAT obvious? He thought. He thought he did a good job of hiding his attraction to Tori, but somehow Nick, of all people, had picked up on it quite clearly.
Kevin picked up the cell phone and turned it on, still hesitant. After a few seconds of pondering, he turned it off and lay back on the couch. He'd call her in awhile. After all, he DID have to fill her in on the situation. It would be a business call. Yes, a business call.
It had been a long day, and very stressful at times. If he'd of known that it would be such a bizarre and unusual experience with girls, a house, and sexual innuendos amongst all of them, he'd have never signed on. Self-appointed chaperone wasn't his idea of fun. If Tori were here, it would be quite interesting, though. Nick, Howie and Brian would shape up immediately and become their professional selves. AJ? Tori always counted on him sneaking behind her back to party and showing up in the wee morning hours, drunk. She would be proud of him this time around. He was the good one. Kevin laughed as he thought of the possiblity that maybe AJ just liked the thrill of sneaking around behind her back more than reaching the actual destinations he was sneaking to. But then again, they weren't in a big city, either. No clubbing here, not in Nowhere, USA.
------------
Kevin had drifted off to sleep, but he awoke suddenly when he heard the back door open. Shit! He thought. Are they back all ready? He looked at his watch and saw that it was only 10:30pm. Cautiously, he got up from the couch and crept towards the door to the kitchen. He peeked in the doorway and found Kenneth checking out the new refrigerator.
Feeling Kevin's presence, Kenneth spun around quickly to face him. "Oh my GOD!" he boomed out, obviously not expecting anyone to really be there. "You scared me to DEATH, Kevin!"
Kevin couldn't help but laugh at Kenneth's outburst. "Sorry, man, but I wasn't just going to announce that I was here to an intruder." He was surprised when Kenneth laughed at his reply. It was the first time he'd seen Kenneth even remotely crack a smile.
"I just came back to check out everything while you guys were gone," Kenneth replied. "I wanted to try to get some stuff moved around so you wouldn't have to mess with it when you got back later."
"Well, that's very thoughtful, Kenneth," Kevin answered. "Why the change of heart?"
Kenneth winced when Kevin asked him that. "I just wanted to express a little gratitude to you for what you've done," he replied, looking Kevin directly and sincerely in the eyes. "I'm very overwhelmed by your generosity, and..." He didn't finish the sentence immediately, as if he couldn't find the right words, "...and I wanted to do something to make your stay a little more pleasant, for all that you've done."
Kevin was suspicious still. He couldn't help but think there was an ulterior motive. This was the man who had come unglued because of a trip to McDonalds, not this easy-going character standing in front of him now. "You don't have to move anything around for us, Kenneth. It would take you three times as long as it would all of us. Plus," Kevin smiled as he thought of it, "I plan on being asleep when they get back. They'll be on their own."
Kenneth laughed at Kevin's selfish idea. "I can't say I don't blame you. You're how old and you have to put up with them?"
"I'm 28," Kevin replied.
"I really feel for you," Kenneth sympathized. "Angela alone can be a handful, but throw in Kim Ann and Sandra, you've got quite the rebel mentality."
"Actually," Kevin replied, "Angela's been a real gem today. No attitude at all." He smiled and added, "But Kim Ann...."
Kenneth shook his head and smiled back at Kevin. "I know, I know....but for some reason, Angela and Sandra like the trouble she makes." He paused, still shaking his head in thought. "You don't know how many times Angela's gone to Anne bawling about something Kim Ann's done or something she said, or some guy she liked but Kim Ann decided to date. But yet, she adores her."
Kevin nodded. "I can see that happening. It's kind of happened today, too, only this time I think Angela's got the guy." Kevin noticed Kenneth's grin after he mentioned that. "And actually, at this point, I think they're getting along."
"I wondered about that," replied Kenneth. "We passed them when we left here earlier and they were waving and smiling and looked like they were having a good time."
"I think Kim Ann likes Angela," observed Kevin. "I just think she doesn't like her...her...."
"...weakness?" asked Kenneth.
Kevin nodded slowly, still in thought. "Yeah, I think that's the best way to put it. I mean, we pick on Nicky a lot as a group, but we back him up when he needs it. It's kind of the same situation." He smiled. "Kim Ann was gonna kick Nick's ass earlier today when she thought he was yelling at her. I thought I was gonna have a fight on my hands."
"She's a kickboxer, you know," pointed out Kenneth. "She could probably do a number on him."
They laughed together at the thought of Kim Ann laying Nick out, but once the laughter subsided, Kenneth's mood became very serious. Kevin could tell he wanted to talk to him about something....and then it hit him. Oh my God, he saw the picture!
"Kevin," Kenneth said soberly. "Can I talk to you about something?"
Kevin was a little nervous, anticipating Kenneth's probe about his picture with his wife. He hadn't even thought about the possible repercussions of Kenneth seeing it. Hell, HE hadn't even seen it yet. "Sure, Kenneth."
Kenneth motioned to the couch in the other room and Kevin knew it was going to be a long and probably serious talk. He found himself wishing he hadn't of kissed Ann earlier. What was he thinking anyway? Was it really worth it now?
Kevin and Kenneth sat on the couch together, Kenneth on one side and Kevin on the other. They just looked at each other momentarily, and Kevin squirmed a little bit in anticipation of what Kenneth might want to talk to him about. Finally, Kenneth spoke. "It's about the pictures, Kevin."
Kevin sighed loudly and thought about what to say without insulting Anne and yet pacifying Kenneth. Before he could speak, though, Kenneth continued. "Things have never been good between us, Kevin, and when I saw those pictures and she was smiling and so happy…well, I've got to say it. I was jealous."
"Oh, Kenneth," Kevin said playing it down. "They're just pictures. I think you're reading too much into them. Everyone smiles for pictures."
"You don't understand, Kevin," Kenneth persisted. "I've tried for eight years to reach out to her and I've failed miserably. Everything I do isn't good enough. Everything I say or do is controlling to her. Everything…"
Kevin was definitely uncomfortable with this topic. He wasn't a marriage counselor. But…… "So why did you marry her?"
"What?" Kenneth asked, confused. When he realized that he and Kevin were talking about two different people, he laughed loudly. "Oh, Kevin, I'm talking about Angela, not Anne. I loved Anne's pictures. SHE loved the pictures. My God, I'd have driven you to her workplace if I'd of known that it meant that much to her."
Kevin blushed and laughed. "I'm sorry, man, I thought you were gonna lecture me about kissing your wife. Seriously, it was for photogenic purposes only."
Kenneth smiled at him. "I wondered why you were dodging the topic so bad."
Kevin was relieved to talk about Angela at this point. Whatever Kenneth wanted to know, he would tell him…..unless it was about sex. He didn't even want to go there with that topic. Virginity? Maybe… Sex? No way. "Angela…" he said thoughtfully. "You've never been close? Never?"
"No," Kenneth replied, sadly. He sat there quietly, his mind traveling back to when he'd first heard about Angela. He still remembered the outfit she'd been wearing when he first was introduced to her and how awful she looked…her greasy hair hanging in her face, her disheveled clothes, worn for days. "I'll tell you, Kevin, Anne and I thought long and hard about taking her in. She was 16 then. So fragile. So broken. So lost. She'd been through an ungodly amount of foster homes in a short amount of time. And nobody could handle her. We're talking multiple and serious suicide attempts, theft, fighting….all of it. The state pretty much wrote her off and they were going to send her to girls' school. It would've killed her. It would've killed her." She had told them she would rather have sex with Satan than stay with them, but Kenneth didn't venture to share such a horrible thing with her new friend.
Kevin was amazed at the revelations on Angela. He couldn't picture her like that at all. Thefts? No way. Fighting? She was a pussycat! Suicide? That he could understand, but she seemed so much beyond that. "Why did you decide to take her?"
Kenneth sighed. He looked deeply troubled and sad. "Because of Bailey. Because of Bailey and Susan. Nick told you about them, right?" He really didn't want to discuss Bailey and Susan with Kevin, for fear of breaking down, but he really felt compelled to share the story, especially since Nick had probably already mentioned it.
Kevin was confused. Bailey and Susan? Nick hadn't mentioned ANY Bailey and Susan. "I'm sorry, Kenneth, but Nick hasn't mentioned anything. In fact, I don't think he even remembers how he knows you."
"Really?" Kenneth asked, surprised. "I have changed, but I didn't think I'd changed that much." He half laughed to himself, obviously shocked that Nick couldn't remember him. "We knew Nick from way back when he was a little shit." He held out his hand so high off the floor to emphasize how little Nick was when he'd known him. Then he pulled his hand back slowly and sat there quietly, wishing he'd never had mentioned Susan and Bailey. But he had. "Susan was my wife and Bailey was my daughter. She danced with Nick in that little Disney show he did."
"The Angels thing?" asked Kevin. He was relieved that he had some recognizable tidbit to emphasize. He didn't like the tone Kenneth's conversation was taking. Too serious.
"Yes, that's it. Nick and the Angels." Kenneth replied. "Bailey adored him. She was an only child and she just thought he was the perfect boy, you know?"
"So did Jane." Kevin said before stopping himself. He looked at Kenneth somewhat fearfully, suddenly remembering that Jane had arranged the whole Peace House vacation for them.
Instead of rebuking him, though, Kenneth smiled and agreed. "I know. You don't have to point out Jane's shortcomings to me. I've seen them all firsthand, long before you even knew they existed." He smiled and shook his head. "But I don't have time to talk about that."
"Probably not," Kevin replied, relieved that he hadn't offended Kenneth, and relieved that Jane wasn't going to be their topic of conversation, either. Too personal. Too touchy.
Kenneth looked away from Kevin and continued with his story after another long pause. "Susan and Jane became somewhat close, especially with the way Bailey fawned over Nick. I mean, they'd shop together, travel to the shows together, all that."
"And you and Bob?" prompted Kevin, curious as to why Kenneth hadn't mentioned Nick's dad yet.
"Bob and I?" Kenneth asked, surprised. "Oh, Bob and I got along. Mainly because we both thought Jane was a little overboard with the whole Nick thing. He used to worry about what kind of future Nick would have with all that talk of stardom. They used to make fun of him in school, you know." Kenneth looked at Kevin to see if Nick had ever told him that. He wondered how much Kevin really knew about his fellow Backstreet Boy.
"So I've heard." Kevin concurred. "Nick used to talk about it when we first got together. It really hurt his feelings."
"Yeah, well, I guess he's the one laughing now, isn't he?" Kenneth smiled as he thought of Nick's good fortune, but then sighed and looked away from Kevin again. "Anyway…Usually, Susan and Bailey would travel with Jane to the shows. But the one day they were running late because Bailey had an orthodontist appointment. She had to have braces cos her teeth were like mine." Kenneth showed Kevin his teeth and pointed at the ones that were off a bit. It was so obvious that he was stalling purposefully, as if afraid to continue the story. He smiled to himself from the memory as he looked at Kevin, but tears also came to his eyes. "I wish her teeth would've been straight, you know?" His voice cracked as he mentioned that and Kevin felt dread sweep over him when he realized where the conversation was going.
Kenneth resituated himself on the couch and breathed heavily from grief. "But…..Susan didn't want to be late for the show, so she was speeding like a bat out of hell. I'd told her not to do that. It wasn't the first time….." He closed his eyes and shook his head to himself. "She lost control of the car, it hit a tree, and I lost the two most precious people in my life. Just like that, Kevin." Kenneth looked at Kevin when he said just like that.
Kevin was speechless. His throat was tight and he could feel tears dying to leak out, but he knew if he gave in he would bawl like a baby. Instead, he just nodded at Kevin to show he was listening. He hoped he wasn't waiting for a verbal response from him because he wasn't going to give one unless he pursued it.
Tears were rolling down Kenneth's face by this time, but he still managed to speak. "Nick didn't go to the funeral," he pointed out, deep in thought. "He just couldn't deal with it. I guess he took it pretty hard, at least that's what Jane told me." Kenneth looked at Kevin, expectantly. "I've never heard him even mention something like that publicly. Has he ever mentioned it?"
Kevin was shocked to realize that Nick, in fact, had never mentioned such a thing, perhaps because it WAS so painful to him. "No, Kenneth, I had no idea."
"That's odd," Kenneth replied. "That's very odd." He sniffed and wiped his eyes. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to cry, but it's a difficult topic for me. I just thought it would help you understand Angela's story more. If you don't want to talk about it, I would understand, Kevin. I just need to talk about Angela."
"It's okay, Kenneth." Kevin didn't quite know what else to say or do, other than agree with Kenneth.
"Anne…" Kenneth smiled when he said her name, switching from Bailey and Susan suddenly. "She was a damned angel. When I moved here to Indiana and met her, it was like my prayers had been answered. She can't have kids." Kenneth looked at Kevin when he mentioned that. "Didn't mean she didn't want them, or need them, she just couldn't."
Kevin held eye contact and nodded for Kenneth to continue. He found himself feeling incredibly guilty for the way he'd treated Kenneth earlier. If he'd of only known… He felt very uncomfortable as Kenneth looked at him, unsure of what exactly he was expecting of him.
Kenneth continued, noticing Kevin's discomfort. "Well, we discussed foster care because we wanted to help a child that couldn't help itself. We thought that foster care would be the way to go, rather than adoption. We figured we were too old for adoption. I didn't think I could handle it. Not after losing Bailey." His voice cracked when he said Bailey, and Kevin could feel his throat tighten again. He didn't like the Bailey topic at all, and even though he'd wanted to ask how old she was when she died, he felt it wasn't a necessary piece of information. Not worth the pain and anguish to Kenneth to discuss anything personal about her like that.
"….So we opted for an older child, preferably a boy, that we could make a difference in their lives," Kenneth continued.
"And that's when you came across Angela." Kevin inserted, wanting to hear more about Angela and less about the loss.
Kenneth smiled. "Yes, that's when we heard about Angela. We'd had other kids suggested at the time, but when I heard about her losing her family and about their plans for her…" He broke down and sobbed unexpectedly. "I just kept thinking, what if Susan and I had died and Bailey had been left like that? What if everyone gave up on her and she just became a number and nobody cared whether or not she lived or died, just as long as they didn't have to deal with it?" Kenneth stopped talking as grief overcame him and instinctively, Kevin scooted over to him and put his arm around him. It felt odd for him to do that, but he was desperate. He wasn't accustomed to seeing grown men cry.
"I'm sorry," Kenneth said repeatedly, holding his head in his hands. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay, man. It's okay," Kevin assured him as tears flowed down his own face. He couldn't hold it in when he felt the sobs racking through Kenneth's body.
Kenneth took a deep breath and regained his composure. He sat up, wiped his tears and looked at Kevin. When he saw the tears in Kevin's eyes, he laughed unexpectedly. "Wow! I made a Backstreet Boy cry."
Kevin laughed loudly at the unexpected exclamation, relieved at cheesy attempt at humor during such a dark topic of conversation. "This is some deep shit, Kenneth. This is some deep shit."
"Yes, it is." Kenneth agreed. He cleared his throat and sat upright as Kevin tried to remove his arm from around him as discreetly as possible. "I didn't want a girl," he continued, pretending not to notice that Kevin's arm had ever been around him. "There was no way in hell I wanted a girl…..but when I heard about her and I started looking up her history, I just had to have her." A look of determination came over his face. "I looked up her prior grades and activities, and I was amazed at how wonderful she was before the accident. She had high grades, was into sports - volleyball, track, basketball, you name it. She was the perfect kid."
"And what did Anne think?" Kevin asked. Kenneth hadn't mentioned Anne's side of it. But Anne seemed to adore Angela. They'd gotten along so well earlier. She couldn't have NOT wanted Angela.
"Anne?" Kenneth asked, surprised. "She was very supportive. She knew about my ordeal, and I think she saw it as some sort of healing process for me. There were still wounds that never healed." Kenneth looked Kevin in the eyes. "But I don't think they ever do when you lose someone that close to you. You can't replace them. You can only move on and deal with it everyday."
Kevin's mind drifted to his father's death and the grief he still carried from it and he nodded in agreement. However, he didn't want to discuss such a personal thing with Kenneth, so he made no mention of it. Instead, he waited quietly for Kenneth to finish.
"So…." Kenneth added. "We agreed to get Angela. And let me tell you, Kevin, it was no picnic."
Kevin laughed and smiled. "Pretty rough, eh?"
"You don't know the meaning of rough, boy." Kenneth replied, laughing himself. "She was an angry, hateful, vicious little thing. Spiteful…." He laughed again. "Ooooooh, she was spiteful." Kenneth shook his head in disbelief as he recalled Angela's old self. "She used to wear the same clothes to school for days - still dirty, mind you, and without bathing either - just to push everyone away. She would tell Anne that she was fat, just to hurt her feelings, when Anne was on a diet. She used to imply that we'd gotten her so I'd have a sex partner. You name it, she said it."
"Oh my God," Kevin exclaimed. "I just can't see her doing that!" His mind raced over every encounter he'd had with Angela throughout the day and nothing remotely hinted at that kind of behavior. Unbelievable. NOW he was interested. He had to know what changed Angela. "So what happened? What changed her?"
"What changed her?" Kenneth asked, looking at Kevin. "Toleration, unconditional love, and……..Sandra."
"Sandra?" Kevin asked. "Really?" He hadn't noticed Sandra and Angela hanging out much during the day. Of course, maybe it was because of Nick and Angela. Maybe it was because of Kim Ann and Sandra.
"Oh yeah," Kenneth said, noticing Kevin's disbelief. "I still remember Angela coming home from school and bitching about some cheerleader trying to be her friend and how she'd told her to fuck off. I remember it vividly." Kenneth laughed as he recalled it. Angela was SO angry that Sandra had DARED to sit with her and "humiliate" her like that. "But Sandra? She wasn't to be swayed. She just kept on and kept on and kept on. And finally, something somewhere gave. I think it was the combination of Anne and I and Sandra just letting her be hateful like she was, until she finally realized that we weren't going anywhere."
"Wow," Kevin said. "I don't think I could've done it, Kenneth."
"Oh….." Kenneth replied. "Looking back, I don't know how I did it, either. I just did. Anne and I made the commitment before we took her. She's changed dramatically, Kevin. She really has."
"Obviously," Kevin remarked. "I just can't see that in her." He just couldn't picture her not bathing or changing her clothes. In fact, she'd gone home to change for the evening, and she wasn't THAT dirty.
"Which brings me to my original intention," Kenneth interjected. "I want to know what you guys are doing to make her so happy. It can't be the fame thing, because she didn't even know who you were. But I see this picture of her and Nick and she's just smiling…..I don't get it. She usually is very aloof to guys. Very aloof."
Kevin smiled sheepishly. "Well…..with me, I think it was because I agreed that I wasn't going to take any shit from you." He looked at Kenneth hesitantly, but was relieved to see a smile. "I'm the one who invited her friends, too."
"Wow…" Kenneth replied. "She despises me that much."
"No….." Kevin replied, trying to take the sting off of what he'd just said. "I just think she likes to piss you off, man. I don't know why, but she does."
"What about Nick?" asked Kenneth. He HAD to know what made Nick so special to her. In a way, he resented it. He remembered how Nick had had the same effect on Bailey and it disturbed him that he'd stolen his new daughter's heart in the same way.
"Nick?" Kevin looked at Kenneth and rolled his eyes. "Let me tell you about Nick." He chuckled as he continued. "He is the charmer of all charmers. And she had written on a piece of paper that he was adorable. That was it."
"She did?" Kenneth asked surprised. Angela would never do such a thing. She didn't even KNOW Nick.
Kevin nodded. "Well, Sandra had told her he was adorable, so she'd written it down. I think Nick thought it was her opinion of him at first, so naturally, he played it up."
"Ohhhhh," Kenneth replied. "So it was a case of a mistaken opinion."
"Well, yes and no," Kevin answered. "You gotta understand where Nick's at right now. He's put on some weight, he broke up with his girlfriend, and he's got this big tug of war going on inside him. Probably all the crap you and Bob used to worry about."
Kenneth nodded this time. "Probably," he said thoughtfully. Bob had said that chasing after Jane's dream would hurt Nick someday….and yes, he'd been surprised at how large Nick was, especially with as thin as Bob always was. "He is a big boy."
"Yeah, especially in comparison to the scrawny ass he was a year and a half ago," Kevin added. "He's really just filled out in the last year or so. And we were out of the public eye somewhat during the….the…."
"Metamorphosis?" Kennth inserted, laughing.
"Yeah, that'll work," Kevin agreed, laughing too. "And boom! There he is all of a sudden with our new CD on the way, and he's totally changed. A lot of fans called him fat right to his face…..and so did his girlfriend when they'd get in fights."
"Wow." Kenneth said, surprised that Nick was that vulnerable. He'd come across quite cocky to him, especially when he'd taken his Durango. He thought Nick was an arrogant little ASS, in fact.
Kevin continued. "So you put Nick in a setting away from the public, with a fairly cute girl who is attracted to him, and you get what you've got: A love connection."
"Hmmmmmm," Kenneth said thoughtfully. A love connection. How odd. "You know," he added, looking at Kevin, "I thought for awhile there that Angela was a lesbian."
Kevin laughed loudly at the thought. "A lesbian?!?"
"Yes," Kenneth replied, laughing with him. "She 's never been on a date, she's never really even had a crush on a guy, not really. And it's always seemed like the farthest thing from her mind. What would YOU think?"
Kevin laughed again. "I don't know, Kenneth. I just don't know."
Kenneth stood up and stretched, then looked at his watch. He didn't want to hear anymore about Nick and Angela. He would just have to deal with it. At least she WASN'T a lesbian. "Well, young man, I think I've taken up enough of your nap time. It's 12:30 already."
"Wow," Kevin exclaimed, his mind racing to his intended phone call to Tori. "I didn't think it was THAT late."
"Yes," Kenneth said, pausing. He looked at Kevin seriously. "Could you put a good word in for me, Kevin?" He hated groveling to Kevin, but he felt the plea would be honored.
Kevin smiled at Kenneth warmly. "You bet, man. You bet."
Kenneth beamed with hope. "Thank you, Kevin."
"You're welcome." Kevin watched as Kenneth hurried to the back door. He paused to wave good-bye before he left and Kevin couldn't help but see him in an entirely different light.
"Wow," Kevin said to himself, reeling from everything that Kenneth had
told
him. "Wow."
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