Cheney explains how his chest discomfort "feels like someone grabbing you by the balls - but through your chest."
Vice President Dick Cheney spent Monday night in the hospital following a cardiac catheterization procedure. Cheney was admitted to George Washington University Hospital in the morning following complaints of "two brief, mild episodes of chest discomfort while tutoring the president on foreign affairs."
Bush confirmed that the session had been "a miscombobulation of events caused by a mispronunciation of names" but stopped short of taking blame for causing Cheney's condition.
Cheney, who has had a history of heart trouble, was doing fine on Tuesday, and doctors are highly confident the vice president will be able to finish his term. "Nothing major," he told reporters upon his release, "but this just pushes the timetable up a bit."
The vice president then expressed regret about the school shooting in California on Monday where two teens were killed and thirteen more wounded.
"This was a tragic event that, from what I understand, could have been prevented," he told reporters, "and I am going to make that my priority. From now on, if you feel like shooting people or know of someone who does, I want you to contact me. Especially if you are mad at the president, or someone that even looks like him. It would also help if you could shoot worth a shit too."
When asked how he would help violent teens overcome their troubles Cheney suggested they could work in the White House and have close contact with President Bush. " Surrounding the president with homicidal youths makes perfect sense to me. If there's one thing I've learned over the past couple years, I'm not getting any younger. You have to grab for the brass ring when it comes around."
