President Bush, shown here seconds before an alien abduction, promises to continue ignoring reality despite Jeffords defection.
This week will mark a shift in the balance of power in Washington D.C., with Senator James Jeffords abandoning the GOP to become an Independent. This move effectively gives Democrats majority rule of the formerly divided senate and the attention of the White House.
While we here at MKG were taking a fact-finding vacation, President Bush was attempting to reinvent himself as a compassionate conservationist. The president even went so far as to visit the Sequoia National Park in California.The president toured the park, taking time for photo opportunities next to plants and trees that withered at his touch.
"I have never been an enemy of natures," the president said, "in fact my favorite color has always been green. But that does not mean progress cannot exist with nature. Trees makes paper, and paper makes green money. So the circle of life continues quite naturalistically."
He further told of plentiful federal money to be set aside for parks, though he later admitted it was mostly money for paving roads to oil refineries that would be built "away from the peoples so as to give the animals that lives there jobs so they don't have to beg like some bears or squirrels do."
Critics say the only reason Bush is suddenly playing his "green card" is the Jeffords defection, but they aren't complaining.
"Hey, anything that actually gets that guy to listen to the Democrats is a good thing," claims a Washington insider, "even if he is still more intellectually-challenged than a box of rocks."
