President Bush spoke at length to Pope John Paul II, causing the latter to reconsider church views on suicide.


Bush's European Vacation


President Bush continued his European tour on Monday, following a weekend of conflict and bitter protests during the G8 summit in Genoa, Italy.

The protests were the latest to be held wherever world leaders gather to discuss matters of international trade and labor issues. One protestor was killed and several others were injured, as were numerous police officers stationed there to ensure order.

Bush expressed sorrow over the death and other assorted injuries, but maintained that "until peoples understand this is for their own good, more of the same will happen. But at least it doesn't happen in America." When reminded of the clashes in Seattle during the WTO meetings, however, Bush commented "Seattle is in America?"

The president has also taken time to meet one on one with other leaders and heads of state, having visited with British Prime Minister Tony Blair before the conference. Bush also has plans for a second meeting with Russian President Vladimir Putin.

Before leaving Italy, however, Bush managed a visit with Pope John Paul II at Castel Gandolfo, the papal summer residence near Rome. It was the first time the president had met the leader of the Catholic Church.

Bush, who is not Catholic, used the Pope as a sounding board for several religious issues, such as the controversial stem cell research and his faith-based initiative program, which would grant federal money to church based social services.

The Pope claimed that stem cell research was "evil" but thought the faith-based initiative was a good idea as long as "American churches don't have to hire queers or anything."

Pope John Paul also confirmed a question posted by Bush whether oral sex outside of marriage was considered a sin. "Of course," said the Pope, at which time Bush was heard to shout "Yeehaw, did everybody hear that? Bill Clinton is going to burn in hell!"

Following their encounter, both men were asked about their first impressions of one another.

"He is everything the prophets have warned us about," the Pope said, "so now would be a good time to get on good terms with the Lord Jesus Christ."

Bush thought the Pope "smelled really, really old, which sort of surprised me. I thought he would smell more like incest, since they light that stuff up around there like hippies on dope."