President Bush celebrates his freedom from Washington by drunkenly stumbling to the presidential limo after admitedly ripping "a big one: Texas-sized."
Less than 200 days into his administration President Bush is already taking a one-month vacation from his duties, causing some to wonder how dedicated he is to the job.
Before leaving on the nearly unprecidented work break, the president held a press conference to head off some of the sure-to-come criticisms.
"I've done a lot of things since coming to Washington," Bush tersely declared, "I managed to get tax release through for the American peoples. And by changing the tones of Washington, we are closer to a patients bed of rights. And not to brag, but it looks like we're gonna drill the crap out of Alaska!"
Bush also declared victory for the giant energy companies, who he claimed should reap "gazillions of dollars to help keep the GOP warchests full for eternity or at least until they suck this planet dry."
Despite such so-called progress, many still cast a critical view on the president's extended vacation, causing the White House to point out that it will be a "working vacation" for the president.
"Certainly any belief that the president is not a hard-working man is unsubstantiated," declared White House spokesman Ari Fleischer, speaking to reporters outside of Bush's Crawford, Texas ranch which is named "The Lazy W".
Anonymous sources within the ranch claim the president will most likely spend his days sleeping, jogging, playing videogames and pulling mischievious pranks on Secret Service agents.
"The only thing he'll be working here is his mouth," claims an insider, "That guy just won't shut up. And to top it off, he speaks like a complete moron. What a dufus."
