"Today is a great day for America," he told an audience at an Iowa farm. "Tax relief is really real, and you'd best be knowing you owe it all to me."

The president further went on to praise Americans as "the finest peoples on the face of the Earth who deserves to be ruled by divinity like myself."

Reaction was mixed by those who attended the president's speech.

"What a melonhead," chuckled one listener, "that guy has an ego the size of Texas."

"It's like he's still running for office," declared Harry Palms, an Iowa farmer, "isn't he suppose to be running this country? Does he do any actual work?"

Palms is not far off on his observation. A recent study by political watchdog group Citizens Against Bureaucratic Laziness showed Bush works an average of eight hours per week, spending the rest of the time on touring and photo-ops.

"The White House fuel expenses for the president are costing taxpayers a bundle," claims an anonymous Washington insider, "but at least he's making his oil buddies richer and giving them a tax cut to ensure they keep their profits from this so-called energy crisis."

While some critics of the president might see it as a blessing he isn't actually doing anything, others are concerned that it leaves Vice President Dick Cheney with a great deal of power. And they are not alone; a recent survey of stupid people showed two out of three believed Cheney was president and Bush was vice president.

"You can't read too much into that," scoffed Ari Fleischer, the White House press secretary. "I mean, two out of three also thought our moon was made out of rubber."