President Bush bows his head for a few moments of silence regarding the approaching death of the economy.


Back On The Road Again


Fresh from his weekend stay at his Crawford, Texas ranch where he entertained his mother and father, President Bush was back on the road with his Fabulous Trillion Dollar Tax Cut Revival. This time the carnival-like show rolled into Florida, where brother Jeb is governor.

Bush has been traveling the country pushing hard for his tax plan and trying to put the pressure on Democrats who oppose his proposal. Florida marks the first state the president has been to where votes were close in the election. Previously he has been lurking about in states where he won by a considerable margin.

Florida, of course, was where the close battle between then candidates George W. Bush and Al Gore was decided, or undecided depending upon whom you ask. Democrats demanded manual recounting of the ballots, claiming that every vote should count. Republicans bitterly opposed the move, hypocritically proclaiming the will of the people to be "mob rule".

President Bush made no mention of the voting scandal, however, focusing on getting his own mob together to force Democrats to back his package.

"I want you to write letters to everyone in Washington you can think of," Bush told the assembled masses, "and I want you to tell them to do whatever I say. And I say give money to the rich, so that they can take cares of you."

Economists are worried that the tax plan will be a replay of events twenty years ago, when new president Ronald Reagan pushed through a similar plan and sent the U.S. into an unprecedented deficit that the country is still paying off. They also worry because the so-called baby boom generation is nearing the time when they will begin drawing social security and medicare benefits.

Bush scoffed at such reports, saying his plan had plenty left over to not only "pay off the national debt, but to cover any other objections raised by those evil peoples who don't support my plan."

Critics disagree, however, and point out that Bush has only just recently started talking about paying off the national debt when polls showed Americans would prefer that to getting a tax cut if it came down to the wire.

"You will all gets money," Bush said, "and when you do, you can just spend the devil out of it and leave me the heck alone. That goes for the press too - no one really needs to be reminded about how little actual work I do in a week. Besdies, I like touring around, wasting precious fuel and getting my picture taken instead of thinking about policy or doing other presidential things."