On this page will be placed jokes from life of sports. We offer you to take part in formation by this page. Send us the ridiculous histories, and best of them will be necessary placed. Also we wait your reaction to ours jokes. Write to us: darnitsa@gala.net
Why finswimming is better than sex? Read here
1. New kind of the program.
It was in 89 in Voronezh on a zone of the youth USSR competition (for those who remembers). In local pool in "hall of dry swimming" there is one feature under the name "trampoline" . The desire of people, especially that who look younger, is make several gambols. Well all like as normally, after warm-up to a heat - is full of time, jump on health, time of a distance 100 immersion has not come yet. Well as a heat final, attention increased, people on tribunes pending. After start one of participants "had some problems of organizational character", and as more precisely - swimming trunks appeared below knees. The culmination of heroic passage of a distance was on its middle (during turn all people on tribunes has risen …). As result - time any, but a prize "for will to a victory". Well and the hero of the occasion there was that trampolin, after jumping on which has torn lace in swimming trunks. It was very interesting after that to be present at command meeting (as you understand - to laugh is unimpossible, but not attainable…) Well and as the comment of the trainer - "new kind of the program - finswimming without trunks has appeared?"
author
2. Not retreat a step, behind…
Scene of action - the same Voronezh, a zone of the youthful union. One of sights of the former USSR - its system of a public catering from which inevitably you face on trip. It was typical of this system of 2 things. First it that quantity of products (or dishes in a canteen) in direct ratio remoteness from Moscow. The second, natural, this that that on all dinners "not absolutely sufficed". Well with the first at Voronezh like all has developed, therefore it was necessary to struggle for the second. The dining room was on decent distance from pool so, that on foot was minutes 15-25 (exact figure certainly I do not remember) so the choice was or to try to scratch there on foot and to come earlier, or to go by the bus. Thus of type it is a shame if has gone on foot, and the bus of you has made. So once also might take place. Up to canteen remained meters 300-500 and here there is this cattle on wheels. A stupid question "what to do" the participant of the previous history has decided besides. It has sounded approximately so: Run, I shall detain them. Well we run, he detains, and a way worthy the guerrilla on World War II . I do not know that he there has started - probably something from petards - but it was really fucking shit.
Driver, of course, has jumped out such as with a question who's been fucking about, long examined wheels etc. This time also has sufficed to reach, take dinner and to be full.
3. International duty
There was it in 95 years when time has come to satisfy suddenly appeared desire of rapproachement with brotherly peoples. It was showed in the form "mutual exchange of experience". Well is shorter - we to them, they to us. In general the desire of trainers, is natural in support of appropriate cultural program, lay down naturally on our shoulders ... This all looked simply: in the afternoon display cultural and historical program, well and in the evening ... In general we have begun to make to joint dinner . Was for the beginning solved to accept slightly for improvement of sociability (we have decided that they are non-drinking.), that hasty and it was made. Then there was actually meeting and dinner where they have surprised us opposite to assumed with the attitude to the sobriety, expressed in additional to dinner by the order several on 0,5. We certainly particularly were surprised, but not upset, and about completely other mood have decided to continue process in domestic conditions with home-brew. Well and all is farther clearly - questions are you understand me?, heart-to-heart talks in German (which literally a pair of hours back anybody naturally did not know), memory blackouts and etc. In general completely unexpected outcome has left with natural end - morning training in the swimming pool, 6.00, a question of the trainer:
- Andrey, are you drunk?
- Is not present, simply has not sleppt.
- And why you are in socks?
4. A walking-tour.
This history has taken place recently when the season was already finished and
we by all command have gathered in a walking-tour. Have chosen a place on a
slope of breakage, have pitched tents, and to evening fun began: binge, the
party, blind man's buff, etc. All right, it is a prelude, and to evening when
half already fall asleep, and second half demanded continuation of a banquet,
this joke was born. Breakage near which we were placed, was about 5-10 meters:),
So we have made: measured length of a cord so that it exceeded height of a
ravine on 1-2 meters, have adhered legs safely sleeping in tent Sergiy, the
second end of a cord have adhered to the beam (weight so under 200 kg), and with
thanking one's stars, have drop the beam from a ravine. Poor Sergiy, with speed
of a bullet, it is pulled out from tent, he in flight wakes up and begins
convulsively cling with fingers and claws to the ground (all this in support of
a stream of damnations) and so ploughed with his own handles approximately 5-10
meters of ground, he in nature brakes in 1-2 meters from breakage and come to
oneself from a shock in two - three minutes, has taken in a hand a beam and
start to rush in all directions for us, that basically too was cheerful and
funnily.
5. To pass the test to go on everything, even on the test.
All probably know a lot of jokes on the subject "intellectual development
of sportsmen of a high class", in style "for what you have a head - in her
I eat".
And so history from life. There was in Institute of physical Culture of
famous city named Kiev (now naturally university). One of tests on 2-3
course (precisely I do not remember). The teacher torments the next student
from a series "rover it sounds proudly". After ascertaining that from a
subject the student knows only a surname of the teacher and the name of a
subject (it is possible to doubt of the last), and also having exhausted
some more type 15 similar copies, is given out such dialogue:
- For what I should pass you??
- But, I, basically, quite goood guy:
p.s. After iron arguments it is difficult to stand....
P.S. Special thanks in making this page to Yuri Diachek.
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