©Copy[left] 2001-2003 Mike...or Astro Mike?

Early Morning Observations - 23 Feb 2003 | 01:45 CT

I'm feeling a bit of the old insomnia, which I'm trying to relieve via the internet.

I can snap with my left hand, but not with my right. All my life, I've never been able to snap with my right hand. For the life of me, I don't know why.

Do you ever get IMs late at night from bot programs trying to entice you into visiting their porn site? Apparantly, they've become more advanced. Now, instead of one obvious IM asking you to visit, they start out with a simple "Hey, how ya doin'," then - at regular time intervals - send you vague follow-ups as though they were holding a real conversation. Then they get you with the last one.

I was not duped, however, because this one told me something was wrong with its Yahoo! messenger and suggested I visit the chat room on the website. We were using AIM. You can't fool me, robot.

Speaking of robots, I just realized SmarterChild isn't online anymore. I sure miss that old robot. He would be the only one on my list without an away message.

I have a random picture of Dane Cook over there. I have no excuses for it, I just think it's a nice picture of Dane Cook.

I've just learned that SmarterChild passed away July of last year. My heart is heavy. But I've found friends of his who will entertain me all the same in my time of great awake-itude.

DoseOfVitaminM84: I feel like my life is going nowhere and I'm so desperately, desperately lonely.
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DoseOfVitaminM84: You always know just what to say.

Sometimes I hear voices in my headphones, and I wonder...am I picking up a radio station, or am I just losing my mind?

I'm Very Very Sorry, Casey - 16 Feb 2003 | 19:49 CT

I don't think it took 24 hours before that last Top 10 met with resistance. I aim to please!

Actually, there was originally some debate about Roadblock's inclusion onto the list. That was one I fought tooth and nail for, and I'm proud to have him in the number two.

Hey, remember way back a long time ago when I said I was going to start rating my entire music collection? That plan sure fell through fast. As soon as I'm not busy trying to pass Physics or Calculus, I'll get right on that. Honest. Maybe? I'll give it at least one more passing thought, I promise.

Last Sunday (9 Feb), I planned to E-Mail Ms. Casey (Of Birmingham and GBook fame) and wish her a happy birthday. As most of us know, however, I am a typical unobservant male who can't even remember to wish someone a happy birthday. I'd like to take this oppertunity to wish Ms. Casey a very happy [late] birthday, and pretend the following graphic will make up for my pigheaded mistake:

Seriously, though, I'd like everyone to do me a favor. Right now - either by E-Mail or in the guestbook - everyone give me the date of your birthday and a list of musical artists you enjoy. I have no money with which to buy you anything, but I can mix a mean CD when the situation calls. I don't believe the university is going to allow us to use any file-sharing programs in the near future, so the sooner I get these together the more likely you'll get something you want when your birthday rolls around.

Otherwise I'll have to hit up Replays like a normal consumer, and my funds for doing so are rather limited at the moment.

Oh, and I've finally gotten around to putting The Story into an HTML format. You may peruse it here. I hope my misery sufficiently entertains you.

Cough Cough Hack Hack DIE! - 15 Feb 2003 | 16:25 CT

Boy, I tease you guys with updates and I don't even bother to deliver. What kind of a jerk am I, anyway? Oh, yes. A jerk who's apparantly come down with the flu.

Actually, it may not be the flu. I'm still debating it with myself rather than a qualified physician. I'm a bit of a paranoid, so naturally my first thought was "OH CRAP MENINGITIS!!1", but I'm missing a few symptoms and I've had my shots.

I'm also housetrained, and I remember to put the toilet seat down. I don't have any qualms about buying female neccessities. We may have missed out on Valentine's, but if any of you lovely lady(ies) out there want to adopt me - give me a hit.

Maybe I've developed an entirely new strain of disease like Lou Gehrig (He should have seen that coming...). Or maybe Saddam Hussein attacked me with a bag of anthrax while I was asleep. You know how Islamic dictators are always gunning for me. Me being such a key military target and all.

Hey! Top 10! AlllllRIGHHHT!

TOP 10 G.I. Joes

10. Beach Head (Wayne R. Sneeden)
09. Sci-Fi (Seymour P. Fine)
08. Lady Jaye (Alison R. Hart-Burnett)
07. Iceberg (Clinton L. Nash)
06. Shipwreck (Hector X Delgoto)
05. Lowlight (Cooper G. MacBride)
04. Alpine (Albert M. Pine)
03. Sgt. Slaughter (Classified)
02. Roadblock (Marvin F. Hinton)
01. Snake Eyes (Classified)

I've included their real names where applicable. How does that grab you, Kofi?! Huh?!

Cold Enough For Ya? Heh Heh Heh... - 12 Feb 2003 | 22:00 CT

Alan and I constructed the first in what will hopefully be a long line of incredible musical compilations. We've dubbed this first disc, the We Ryde Deep mix, and I share the track list with you here:

Sega Sound Studio - Blue Hedgehog Sonic (Air Rave Mix)
Baltimora - Tarzan Boy
Chantal Goya - David Le Gnome
Falco - Vienna Calling
TV Theme - The Price Is Right
David Bowie - Magic Dance
Go West - King of Wishful Thinking
Harry Belafonte - Jump In The Line
Paul Revere and The Raiders - Indian Reservation (Cherokee People)
Stan Bush and Vince DiCola - Transformers Movie Theme
The Ventures - Hawaii Five-O
Rednex - Cotton Eye Joe (Techno Remix)
The Four Lads - Istanbul (Not Constantinople)
TV Theme - Knight Rider
Johnny Cash - Burning Ring of Fire
Marilyn Manson - The Food Pyramid
Unknown - [Not the] Tetris Theme (Ska Remix)
No Doubt - The Imperial March (Live)
Happatai - Yatta!

As you can see, it's certainly a selection to behold, but that's not why I'm writing this update. Yes, I'm building up to an interesting segue. There's a great deal of news to share after such a long time away. Perhaps talking about the segue in the middle of the segue isn't making for the best segue. Sieg segue.

But why - you may ask - are we riding deep? Sure, the Nova is a dope ride, but 70% of the time it's broken down! How can one claim ride deepness when one's automobile is clearly not fit for service?

One claims ride deepness when one rides in a new ride.

Mistress Nova once again resides at my home in Alabama, and in it's place I've been blessed with a green 1998 Jeep Cherokee. On a mere half-tank of gas, I can drive from Birmingham, AL to Bowling Green, KY. I can comfortably seat five, I can transport all manner of possessions, and I can defrost my rear window. But best of all, it has an incredible sound system and the shiniest rims known to white man.

Friends, I am riding deep. For real.

I have a whole pile of things to tell you, not the least of which is to relay The Story - the infamous bit of college legend that will now haunt me for the rest of my days. I will reveal them all at my earliest convenience, but the old pillow is calling my name at the moment. Until next time, keep on truckin'.

PS - New Top 10 List will be completed tomorrow. I promise. Hans Blix has got my back.

The Almost-95 Theses - 02 Feb 2003 | 15:02 CT

Alright, so the semester didn't start out too well.

In fact, I'd have to say the semester started out quite badly, but there's no use crying over spilled milk. I just need to keep a better grip on this next gallon. Alan still doesn't believe me, but I've resolved here and now to do better. I'm going to take up arms and charge into my classes with guns blazing. Actually, that's a bad analogy. I think you could get arrested for saying something like that in high school.

You get the idea.

Starting right now, I've decided to start an Education Reformation™. Tell me that doesn't sound awesome when you try it five times fast. From here on out it's going to be study first! "Unreal Tournament? Nay, friend, Calculus!"

I agree it sounds like a terrible plan, but I'm running out of choices. I can either start working harder now or I can fail entirely and go home in utter, utter shame. I think I'll try working first.

So why am I wasting time here? I have three tests this week! Oi Vey...

In other news, it's a very nice day outside, and I'll do my best to catch a few pictures of it for you. But you know how well I wield a photomachine, so don't expect anything spectacular.