[T]op 10 --
DISCLAIMER OF DEATH: I've said it before, but it seems I have to say it again. What you're about to read is cold, hard fact. You can't argue with logic, my friend, so don't even try. If you find something on any of these lists that you disagree with, go on and keep it to yourself. Many have challenged me and have met a swift defeat. None of these will ever change. If they do, it's because they didn't and you just read them wrong to begin with.

Top 10 Future Fark Headlines Designated With The Obvious Tag

10. Obvious "Gigli 2" is a box-office flop.
09. Obvious Deaths by cancer outnumbered deaths by black plague. Still no cure for andromedian flesh-eating bacteria.
08. Obvious California government was more effective before the one-day term limit.
07. Obvious 50 Cent dodges 37 bullets. Chokes on celebratory Big Mac.
06. Obvious David Blaine plans to top previous "tricks" by spending a year in a Cambodian military death camp.
05. Obvious Ben and J. Lo split [NOTE: Apparantly, I'm a prophet]
04. Obvious Army of aliens in orbital nuclear tactical fortresses not coming in peace after all.
03. Obvious 147-year-old mistakes brake for impulse drive, crashes hovercar into farmer's market.
02. Obvious RIAA draws-and-quarters 315 convincted file-sharers.
01. Obvious Denis Leary diagnosed with lung cancer.
TOP 10 G.I. Joes

10. Beach Head (Wayne R. Sneeden)
09. Sci-Fi (Seymour P. Fine)
08. Lady Jaye (Alison R. Hart-Burnett)
07. Iceberg (Clinton L. Nash)
06. Shipwreck (Hector X Delgoto)
05. Lowlight (Cooper G. MacBride)
04. Alpine (Albert M. Pine)
03. Sgt. Slaughter (Classified)
02. Roadblock (Marvin F. Hinton)
01. Snake Eyes (Classified)

TOP 10 80's Songs Of All Time (Even The 80's)

10. Madness - "Our House"
09. Barnes and Barnes - "Fish Heads"
08. Frankie Goes To Hollywood - "Relax"
07. Falco - "Rock Me Amadeus"
06. Men Without Hats - "The Safety Dance"
05. Survivor - "Eye Of The Tiger"
04. Jefferson Starship - "We Built This City"
03. Queen - "Princes Of The Universe"
02. Dexy's Midnight Runners - "Come on Eileen"
01. John Parr - "St. Elmo's Fire (Man in Motion)"

TOP 10 Led Zepplin Songs That Aren't "Stairway To Heaven" (aka "Stairway" Is An Overrated Song, But I Don't Want To Hear Your Whining When I Leave It Off The List Entirely)

10. When The Levee Breaks
09. What Is And What Should Never Be
08. Dazed and Confused
07. Black Dog
06. The Song Remains The Same
05. Ramble On
04. Over The Hills And Far Away
03. Communication Breakdown
02. Immigrant Song
01. Trampled Underfoot

TOP 10 Horror Movies That Aren't Scary

10. Jeepers Creepers
09. Pumpkinhead
08. Creepshow
07. Scanners
06. Friday The 13th [Original]
05. House
04. Army of Darkness
03. Evil Dead
02. Leprachaun In The Hood
01. Dead Alive

TOP 10 "Murphy is" Google Results

10. Murphy is serious
09. Murphy is notable for his ability to layer space
08. Murphy is VERY happy
07. Murphy is active in the robotics research
06. Murphy is a con artist
05. Murphy is not responsible for the privacy policies of sites linked to or from this Web Site and makes no representation as to such sites policies
04. Murphy is out to getcha!
03. Murphy is trying to adjust the European way of life
02. Murphy is alive and well
01. Murphy is no longer with us

TOP 10 Second-String Muppet Characters

10. Rizzo
09. Animal
08. Crazy Harry
07. Sam the American Eagle
06. Sweetums
05. Swedish Chef
04. Dr. Bunson Honeydew
03. Beaker
02. Mr. Waldorf
01. Mr. Statler

TOP 10 Bands With A Keyboard or Synthesizer

10. Boston
09. Bon Jovi
08. Kansas
07. Foreigner
06. Journey
05. Beck
04. Parliament Funkadelic
03. Ozma
02. Rooney
01. Radiohead

TOP 10 Cartoons Beginning With The Letter "T"

10. Tiny Toon Adventures
09. Toxic Avenger
08. Tin Tin
07. Teddy Ruxpin
06. Tale Spin
05. The Tick
04. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
03. Thundarr The Barbarian
02. Transformers
01. Thundercats

TOP 10 Movies Featuring Keanu Reeves

10. Even Cowgirls Get The Blues
09. Johnny Mneumonic
08. Point Break
07. Chain Reaction
06. Speed
05. Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey
04. Dracula
03. Devil's Advocate
02. The Matrix
01. Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure

TOP 10 Weezer Songs of All Time and Space
aka The List That Everyone Hates Because They're Blinded By Ignorance And Simply Can't Accept Truth

10. Pink Triangle
09. Devotion
08. No One Else
07. In The Garage
06. The World Has Turned And Left Me Here
05. My Name Is Jonas
04. Holiday
03. Surf Wax America
02. Across The Sea
01. Only In Dreams


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