Action Friday!

"Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats."

-- Henry Louis Mencken

It was a good Friday, despite the fact that we won't be joining the Thanksgiving festivities until next Tuesday. In the grand tradition of enjoying gratuitous 90's violence, Alan and I watched Predator last night. It's been some time since I saw it in its uncensored form, and a great many plotholes have finally been filled. If anyone has any suggestions on another amazing action title, feel free to share.

When we got up this morning, I started the day with "Eye of the Tiger." Alan had me stop it and wait a moment before restarting. In what can only be described as a bizarre sense of good timing, we both began playing the song from our respective computers. I know some of you probably have surround sound, but you haven't lived until you've created your own - using "Eye of the Tiger." It was incredible.

Thus, Action Friday was born.

I think the name may have been unconsciously lifted from a USA Channel movie block, but I don't much care. Most of the day was spent trying to find the most action-packed events possible, and our Physics professors were more than happy to oblige. We did the whole angular momentum bit in lecture, and our professor spun around on a chair with a bicycle wheel. That was awesome. In lab, we tested to see if angular momentum really did work, and my lab professor spun a beaker of water on a rotating disk. That was action-packed in and of itself, but when he spun the disk and then dropped the beaker of water on top, that was totally awesome.

But I don't feel like there's been enough action. I haven't consulted anyone else, but I want to expand Action Friday into Action Weekend. You know...in between all the homework, at least.

I need a break before I break someone.

"You're in pretty good shape for the shape you are in."

-- Dr. Seuss

I mentioned the theft of my beloved Mudd™ backpack. Yes, it was feminine. Yes, one of the straps was broken. Yes, I had very little in it. I was, however, reasonably angry at the prospect of someone swiping it from me. Let that be a lesson to you youngin's who've not quite grasped the concept of the real world like I'm finally beginning to - ten minutes is more than enough time for someone to steal your crap, and people you thought would watch it for you tend to fall asleep at the most inconvenient times.

My only hope comes in the possibility that the culprit will try to sell the book back to the university bookstore, only to find the campus police step up and womp him. Yes...womp. I'm advocating police wompage at this stage. I play no games.

UPDATE! As I was typing this story, a received a phone call from someone at the Journalism building. They found my bag in the lobby late last week. I went to claim it, expecting it to be in tatters and stripped of its valuables. When I got there, however, everything was in its proper place. No damage. No books gone. No pot stashed in the bottom for later retrieval. Everything was in its right place.

You might be thinking to yourselves, "Mike, you dolt, you just left it there!" Therein lies the problem. I haven't been there since registration - about six or seven months ago. The university bookstore wasn't accepting buybacks this week, so I've been able to develop a theory of what happened. Someone was beboping past the lounge when they noticed my bag lying innocently on the floor. Everyone inside was - for one reason or another - completely unconscious, so they took the oppertunity to snatch my belongings. They giggled all the way down to the bookstore and rushed inside to claim their prize. They were then informed that they couldn't sell it until finals. Utterly crushed, they went to the lobby of the jounalism building to sulk and consider their options. With nothing left to live for, they ditched my bag and found a quiet place to impale themselves on a blunt, rusty pole - never realizing they could have just gone to a different bookstore.

This Wasn't The Part Of Town I Saw

"It smells girly. I don't think I like it."

-- YuYu Hakasho

I'd like to apologize for the lack of updates recently, but I'm not going to. Chump. I will, however, drone on mindlessly about what's happened since last time we met - always assuming you're completely interested in what I have to say.

I spent my Sunday evening in Louisville, city of the...Louisvillians. Alan was prepared to kill a man if he missed The Get-Up Kids show, and I didn't want to be "that guy." You know the one. Years from now when everyone's elderly and sitting on the porch, the show will come up in conversation. Someone will say, "That was quite possibly the greatest show ever heard by mortal ears." Then Alan would sigh, glance in my direction and reply, "I wish I could have been there, but someone didn't want to give me a ride." I'd be that guy.

I'll come out and say this right away - I'm not a fan o' the Kids. They're just not my thing. I did, however, thoroughly enjoy the opening band, Koufax. Alan let me hear a few of their songs before we embarked on this adventure, and I'm a sucker for keyboard groups. Their songs remind me of good old-fashioned rock-and-roll mixed with a kind of Schoolhouse Rock™ synthesizer pop.

I'd probably piss off a few fans with that statement, but I'm not particularly interested. I just call 'em like I see 'em. In other words, I "keep it real." Please believe that.