Around the Campfire
~Big Bore~

      It was so frustrating. Ryoga almost couldn't stand it anymore. He was lost AGAIN! Every time he thought he had everything right, he found himself far from where he meant to be. It was times like this when he wasn't sure which of his curses were worse: turning into a pig or getting lost whenever he tried to go more than a few feet. Once he had got lost in a mall while trying to find the bathroom. That had been embarrassing and painful.
      Carefully he surveyed his surroundings. He was on a trail on a hillside. There seemed to be small shrine visible above him in the failing light. Below him was a house by a lake and gently rolling, wooded hills elsewhere. By the looks of things, it still seemed to be Japan at least, but not a part he remembered being to before. Though he rarely knew how he got places, he rarely failed to recognize someplace he'd been.
      With the last rays of sunlight at his back, he charged into the brush. Suddenly, the Lost Boy stopped. He knew it wouldn't help, but he did it anyway....it at least would make him feel better.
      "WHERE ON EARTH AM I NOW!!!!" The loud yell echoed back and forth across the hills, slowly diminishing to a whisper. Though he didn't know where he was, the angry release made it easier to face the prospect of another lonely camp.
      "No need to yell. I can tell you where you are." Ryoga was startled by the voice that came from his right. He whirled about, umbrella at the ready. Before him was a woman. She was fairly tall, with spiky green hair and eyes like a cat that sparkled mischievously. Her dress was cut far up the side, and the front plunged deeply, showing off a generous amount of cleavage. Ryoga goggled, not at her ample bosom, but at the fact that she was floating a little off the ground.
      "Who are you?" Ryoga demanded, very wary of the spectacle in front of him. He had faced ogres and other strange creatures before, so he wasn't scared, merely wary. In his life, the unusual was ordinary, merely something to watch for.
      "I'm Ryoko, since you asked. My, aren't you the suspicious one? I can tell you where you are, but why don't you tell me how you got to be lost in the first place?" She settled onto the ground and waited for Ryoga's response.
      "Okay, if you'll tell me where I'm at. I'm Ryoga Hibiki." Motioning for him to follow, Ryoko took to the air and floated a short distance into the undergrowth. Ryoga kept very close, determined to find out where he was. Suddenly, the woman stopped and turned. Following too closely, Ryoga walked straight into her-and bounced off of her (you get the idea!). Landing on his backside he looked up, fearful of the insult he had just inflicted.
      "It's okay, a girl likes to feel appreciated. Take off your pack and have a seat. We'll talk a while." The spot where Ryoko had stopped was a clearing in the undergrowth. A small fire burned in front of a log that was obviously meant to lean against. A very large jug stood next to the log.
      Deciding that he would do just about anything to find out where he was, and how he could get back to Akane, Ryoga did as he was bade. When he was comfortable, the woman floated down next to him. "Like some sake? Stories go better with a little something to drink."
      "No, I don't think....Oh, what the heck, it's been a long day." Taking the proffered jug, Ryoga took a healthy swig. A slight warmth followed the alcohol down his throat. In the slight evening chill, it felt good. He handed the jug back before speaking. "Now then, where am I, and how can I get to Nerima?"
      "Nerima?" Ryoko snickered. "You really are lost. First, we made a bargain. I'll help you find your way to Nerima if you tell me how you became lost." Taking a swig from the sake herself first, she handed it back to Ryoga.
      After swallowing another mouthful of sake Ryoga began his tale. "Well, I've always been getting lost. However, most of my problems come about because of Ranma Saotome...."

********

      "Even then," slurred Ryoga, "she doesn't see that he's no good for her! All he ever does is call her uncute and insults her cooking!" It was far into the night, and the jug of sake was seriously depleted.
      "How do you think I feel? I'm always being nice to Tenchi, when all Ayeka ever does is get him in trouble! That Jurian witch thinks the world revolves around her!" Ryoga hadn't drank all the liquor himself, and Ryoko was pretty far gone herself. However, she was more used to the condition than her male companion. It was nice to have a little company and a sympathetic audience for a change. "If it wasn't for the fact that Tenchi wouldn't like it, I'd have sent that royal hussy packing long ago!"
      "At least, if you wanted to you could do it. Ever time I try to defeat Ranma to show that I'm the better man, something happens and I lose." Better not get too depressed, Ryoga thought, I don't want to blow a hole in something accidentally.
      "Hey, you get to sleep with that Akane girl though! Even if it is as a pig, that's one you got on that Ranma character! You just need to show her a sign." Putting her arm around Ryoga, Ryoko took another swig of the sake. She handed the jug to Ryoga who took it gratefully.
      "True," he said, draining the jug in one long pull. "Maybe when I get back I'll do just that!"
      "Great, now if you could just help me with Tenchi," sighed Ryoko.
      "Well, too bad we couldn't introduce your Ayeka to Ranma. Women always seem to go after Ranma! That would solve both of our problems!" Ryoga brightened at the prospect.
      "Hey, that's a good idea, maybe we will have to arrange that!" Ryoko laughed.
      "Okay, I've told you how I got lost. Now where am I, and where am I going?" Ryoga tried very hard to focus on his host, but she seemed to be three people. He hoped he was looking at the right one.
      "Don't worry, you shouldn't travel in your condition anyways. Right now, how about a song?"

***********

      Ryoga awoke with a headache. He also didn't know where he was, but that wasn't unusual. What was unusual was the fact that he could remember very little of the night before....for some reason a very obscene ballad was stuck in his head. As he tried to stand, the nausea struck. Suddenly, the entire night came back to him.
      "Damn, I thought she would tell me where I was, and how to get to Nerima!" Slowly, carefully, he stood. Surveying his surroundings, he found he was in the alley behind the Tendo Dojo. "How did I-" thinking for a moment Ryoga realized how he must of gotten there. "She brought me all this way. I wonder why? I only wanted directions. Well, I better go see Akane."
      Fighting his churning stomach and pounding head, Ryoga reached down for his pack. On it he found a note.
      "Ryoga, from your story, I decided it would take you forever to find your way back to Nerima. Ryo-ohki and I brought you back and dropped you off. I hope this is the right Dojo. Don't wander off! I will bring Tenchi and Ayeka to meet Ranma this week per our plan. With a little luck we can solve both of our problems! See you soon! Ryoko."
      "Uh-oh!"