codhist

The history of the Church of Dan is really very hard to trace. However, many scholars (who shall remain anonymous) believe it all began at the birth of little Daniel Paris. Other scolars are under the impression that CoD, as many churches have, developed because of natural human curiosity. These scholars are idiots. Obviously, CoD originated as a cult following of the infamous Daniel Paris. As a little boy, Daniel was stalked by many other little boys who wished only to worship the godly figure. Even now, during his akward teen years, Daniel, affectionately called Dan by those closest to him, is stalked by many other young men. The intentions of these particular young men are as yet unknown, though we do know that Dan is a god, and as such naturally attracts wierdos, psychos, perverts, and other such unwholsome peoples.
Anyway,
back to CoD
Somewhere along the line, during Dan's tumultuos childhood, a terrible thing happened to CoD. Being as the history of CoD is ever so difficult to trace, we are not sure of the exact date, but it is believed to be somewhere between the years of 1990 and 1995. At the time, CoD was thriving as the leading mass producer of graven images*...Uhmm...what we mean to say is that CoD was becoming less and less of a cult following and much more mainstream.---Now, as you know, being adamant followers of CoD, cursing is just not allowed. Completely unacceptable-- That is why CoD became one of the highest grossing compan-er-churches in the world. Whenever a member of CoD should say a naughty word, they were charged five dollars. Unless they pay up immediately, they are sent strait to hell to spend an eternity with Bill and his fellow ArchDemons. Now, sense nobody wants to so much as look at Bill, they paid.
One Day, this is where the tragedy begins, Dan began the nasty habit of cursing at his congregation. According to the bylaws of CoD, the holy man was charged the hefty fee of one hundred thousand bucks. The terrible flaw in charging Dan was that the curch pays Dan, so it really owed itself money. But seeing as the members of CoD weren't all that bright, they assumed that this massive amount of money would buy them a mew statue for their church. And because they wanted to honor the holy Dan, they shaped it in his image. This naturally put the church into incredible debt and the selling of even more graven images* became essential. Despite the church's many valiant efforts, not enough money could be raised. As a last resort, CoD began to tax its members. This, and the fact that the statue proceeded to ward off any newcomers, caused the total membership count to dwindle to a mere four (Dan, Rachel, Katie, and Margaret).
In a desparate attemt to salvage what little is left of his pride, Dan has become obsessed with embellishing the statue. In order to raise the necessary money, Dan preaches naughty words to his congregation of three. As this is not raising nearly enough money, donations are currently being accepted...and begged for. Though Dan has the warped vision of adding muscles and some sort of butt, we the Archbishops desparately want to buy it some clothes. For further information about statue construction and how you can help click here.

*graven images: idols, golden cows, and other such sacreligous objects to worship...to order click here