| 9/27/01- well today ive kept busy...typical being stood up, resulting in a typical bad mood this morning. oh well...then i came online about 10:30 am and surprisingly there were quite a few good people to talk to online! so that made me feel a little better....then i downloaded some good music, which made me feel even better!!!! :) well tonite is yom kippur, it actually has been yom kippur since sundown last nite but whatever. on a normal basis i would have been in temple all day today completely starving because were not supposed to eat starting sundown last nite. hmmmm...i guess this mono is good for something! :P but later i shall join the rest of my family and we shall feast upon bagels and locks and good stuff lke that....sounds yummy huh? oh yea...i updated the music section...u might wanna check it :P |
| 9/28/01- well today was QUITE the amazing day for me! i am in total garbage mode right now.....the new albulm comes out next tuesday and i am PSYCHED! i even have a new buddyicon on my missminou69 name, a very sexy shirley icon, just to celebrate the occasion. i downloaded the new single and its video and its simply ORGASMIC! so i listened to that on repeat this morning untill my science tutor came, and i got a 100 on my first test! whohoo for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D later tonite i got to actualy get outta the house!!! imagine that! it was simply amazing! i went to tower records of course!:) i got the new kerrang with shirley manson in there (and the rest of garbage too of course) its simply bootiful! so that was my nite...i was out in public...with PEOPLE! AAAAAAAAGH! how amazing is that?!?! but then again i came home only to face news to put me in a bad mood...so now im trying to recover while listening to "androgyny" on repeat...i swear garbage is the only thing keeping me sane at this point...... |
| 10/01/01- well today i started waking up at 6 am again to walk the dogs cuz my mom said i hafta or NO DEANNAS SWEET 16! AAAAAAAAGH....self sacrifice is always fun....then i went back to sleep and slept till 230pm...ahhh noice! well tomorrow the new beautiful garbage cd comes out ::jumps up and down:: im so excited! i downloaded like all the songs and its quite an amazing cd...i already got a couple people hooked:) so everyone check out BEAUTIFUL GARBAGE! out tomo!!!!! well im gettin sleeeepy but in the meantime...check out my art page igot new stuff up there, and theres a NEW PIC of me on the pix page:) |
| 10/17/01- well its been quite a while and alot has happened since i last wrote...my internet explorer got messed up and thats why im just updating it now...well friday i made my appearance at the school bonfire...man talk about flamers! lol then sat nite was deannas big sweet 16...it was quite fun...i boogied down like you wouldnt beleive! and then that g-d sebastian all came and danced with me ooooooh lala all the ladies were soooo jealous...mebbe a few men too...lol but then came lollipops and wow...the wonders you can do with those...heehee, well now mario knows about the magic meatballs...me and sarah arent safe as long as that video still survives!!!! then came my second day of school! veeeeeeeery much fun too!!!! i got all dressed up and got quite a few looks hehheh and of course quite a few good hellos! not from all that i would have liked but then again i can keep dreaming cant i??? heehee well it was quite fun getting to see everyone....of course mr...t yea well he was quite the instant orgasm...lmao!!! and of course being the spectacle i am the nexy day i went on a field trip to murphys music, where my art class all painted on their wall...it looks very sexy now heehee...i painted a dragon, little stick people (me and jaimie are chillin on there as stick peoples, shes got her ho-hos and ive got my squiggly pigtails heehee) and a bunch of other stuff.....anyone local should check it out! so my return to schools been very cool :) |
| 10/18/01- today was quite an interesting day, test in math...im worried how thats gonna come out, then new art project in cartooning, which i finished in fash design...even tho that one is waaaaaay too dirty to be counted as schoolwork...i really dont think moldy peni will be accepted...heehee but then after school i stayed after with jaimie...we ran to mcdonalds cuz if ya dont get there early you hafta wait on a reeeeeally long line and this time we brought more money! (we learned this lesson staying afterwards yesterday) so i finally got my caramel shake! yay! then we sexified our lockers with beautiful pics...heehee and then she went off to drivers ed....i was left alone in the freezing cold for over an hour waiting for my mom to pick me up...NOT FUN! my fingers are just thawing out now...oooooh yea.. i also GOT MY BOTTOM BRACES OFF!!!!!! yippeeeee! the top should be off in a month:) i cant wait! but i also cant wait for tomorrow! my return at the mall! yayeeeeeee!!!!!!!:) |
| 10/19/01- i finally got to return to the mall!!! and of course youd think that this would be an extremely happy thing but it didnt turn out as well as i had hoped. one of my friends made other plans so i didnt get to see him, another friend all said hi and asked if i knew where his friend who hes mad at was, then really didnt speak to me for the rest of the nite, didnt even say goodbye:( hmph! then i got completely dished out on by my friends moldy penis for an ex (i think hes #3 on the list???) and i got lost from my friends cuz they "forgot" about me, then they all walked away and i didnt follow cuz i knew i was unwanted as usual, and i was freezing/starving the entire time. what a fun nite huh? ooooh yea and i forgot...sexual harassment is always fun too.....there was plenty of that...geez, and plenty of embarassment too...i quite frankly dont enjoy being physically abused all day and then dropped on my back onto cold hard concrete....ooooh yea that was fun. i should have stayed home tonight and slept cuz of PSATs tomorrow...which is gonna suck. i may resign from returning to the mall tho...there is no need for me there...and on that note....i do need my sleep since its almost midnite, and i have that test...so goodnite all.... |
| 10/24/01- aaaaaaaaaah shiiiiiiiiiiiit...todays not a good day...but then again what say ever is?!?! it's funny...because im really into POD'S "alive" at the moment, and yet today i couldnt possibly feel more hurt and dead. things just really suck... have you ever just thought, and brought it down to the fact that there really isnt one single good thing in your life at all? everything anyone else could possibly see as something decent is just shit in your own mind. what do you do when theres nothing left, and there never will be anything? nothing means anything anymore and you just sit there and watch things get worse and worse? well thats what ive been doing and quite frankly its not fun...just to watch everything leave you...and then what if you cant even cry anymore? theres no release....it hurts. my usual process of life....rejection, regression, depression...sounds like fun huh? and yet still...life remains where it shouldnt..... |