A kind of stupefied shock descended on Narsus as the lips he'd dreamed of for so long brushed his slightly open mouth in a hesitant kiss. A freely given kiss. He'd never felt so off balance before. A thousand detached thoughts fluttered about in his mind like broken-winged birds that didn't know enough to stop attempting to fly. Essential. Cannot go on. Need you. Forgive. Potential. Together. Loves you. He... loves me? He's... Goddess, he's kissing me? He couldn't move, couldn't breath, couldn't react until he saw the anguish etched on that beloved face as Darun pulled away, anguish that was plainly illuminated by the silver of the moonlight still streaming through the window.

He can't forgive me. Darun felt like the worst kind of fool for believing he could set things right between them. The lips he touched were utterly unresponsive, cold and unmoving; the eyes he still gazed into revealed absolutely no expression. Barely able to keep from crying out, Darun pulled back, dropping his hand from beneath Narsus' chin. I'm too late. You worthless, foolish idiot, why did you wait so long? He cares nothing for me any longer.

"Oh, please." Narsus could barely articulate through his sudden fear as Darun misread his frozen surprise for rejection. Oh no, never rejection. His paralysis broken, Narsus raised his hands up from where they'd been clenching the arms of his chair to cup Darun's cheeks. He gently applied pressure, urging Darun back towards him, yet didn't apply enough pressure that Darun wouldn't be able to pull away if he wished. His heart filled, was resurrected, as hope replaced anguish in deep blue, and Darun willingly closed the distance between them once more. Their lips met for the third time, and Narsus rejoiced as he felt Darun's arms tentatively creep up until they rested around his shoulders. Answer given, promise made, gift given all over again. All that and more passed between them before the kiss ended, not with either of them pulling away, but with Narsus sliding his hands from Darun's cheeks to his chest, and with Darun folding him even more securely within the circle of his arms.

Ah, Goddess, so sweet. Darun had felt redeemed, whole for the first time in years as those elegant hands had finally touched him so tenderly, as emerald filled with hope, and love, and light instead of nothingness. Finally, those lips were warm, soft, and pliant, moving so sweetly against his. The kiss they shared was quite chaste, as kisses went, yet it was everything that their first had not been, all that he'd not allowed their first to be. More eloquent than words, that kiss answered Darun's question and rekindled his life.

Narsus could feel himself trembling as reaction set in. He buried his face in Darun's neck and just held on. Earlier, when the sound of horses had first disrupted his solitude, he'd never even considered that this unexpected and unwelcome visit would result in the fulfillment of his every desire. It was almost too much, almost too good to be true. Yet, Darun was undeniably holding him, was soothing his tremors away with slow, gentle circles on his back. Oh, Ashe, please. Please let this be real, please don't let me lose him. His love is all I've ever wanted.

Ever so slowly, the warm body in his arms quieted. Darun realized that due to the nature of his initial rejection, Narsus had probably never believed that they would ever be friends again, let alone that he would declare his love. He knew he had to give Narsus a moment to collect himself, knew that his declaration had driven his love beyond shock. He slowly moved his left hand up and gathered the silky brown strands of hair that fell in front of Narsus' left shoulder, gently pulling them from between their bodies so they could join their fellows already flowing down Narsus' back. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do this," he murmured as he gently combed his fingers through the soft, sleek mass. He stopped, flattening his hand on Narsus' back when his love began to tremble again.

"Narsus? Are you all right?" Feeling the first stirrings of misgiving when Narsus didn't respond, only shook a little harder, Darun grasped his love's shoulders and gently eased him away so he could see his face. His effort was thwarted as Narsus kept his face averted, the silky mass of hair he'd just been admiring falling like a curtain between them. "Narsus?" So slowly, the curtain was drawn as Narsus finally lifted his head. Oh, Goddess. "Narsus, what's wrong?" The certainty that Narsus cared for him, had forgiven him, still loved him, deserted him in a rush of sick fear as Narsus still didn't respond, only continued to stare at him with stricken, tear-sheened eyes.

How long he's wanted... For the second time that night, Narsus found his mind running in little circles, hindering his ability to think or speak. Goddess, it was too much. This had to be a dream. It was only when he realized that the fingers that Darun had placed back beneath his chin were trembling that coherency returned in a rush. They were both so unsure, not just him, and right now, he was surely scaring Darun half to death.

Words had always served Narsus so well all his life, yet now, he found himself struggling to string one next to another as he tried to explain. It was suddenly so hard, yet as Darun closed his eyes and began to turn away, Narsus finally found his tongue. Narsus reached out to halt that turn with fingers that trembled every bit as hard as those still beneath his chin. "No, Darun, I'm so sorry. I love you. I have always loved you. I never stopped loving you," he breathed into blue that was slowly losing that insecure gleam of fear and hurt.

He does still love me! Darun could read it in Narsus' eyes, but he couldn't explain the fear that shone there as strongly as the love. "Then-, then why?" His relief warred with confusion as he sought understanding.

"Do you know what this means to me? Have you any idea how I've longed to have you touch me? Not just my hair, but any touch at all?" Narsus couldn't force any volume into his voice. He closed his eyes, dropped his hand into his lap to join his other, and clenched both into fists in an attempt to still their trembling. He'd stored away, safe in his heart, the memory of every touch he'd ever received from Darun. Those memories were all he ever believed he'd have, and had alternately sustained and tormented him in recent years. Now, Darun wanted... It was so overwhelming.

Narsus took a deep breath, then resolutely opened his eyes to gaze into those of the man still kneeling between his legs. So quietly, he confessed, "Darun, it's all so much. You've just given me everything I have ever wanted in my life. You, your touch, your smile, your-," he swallowed hard, "Your love. And now, I'm the one who's terrified. I'm so afraid that if I so much as blink, this dream will dissolve like so much smoke, turning my life back into the nightmare it's been."

Oh, how I've hurt him. Narsus' exquisite features were drawn and tense, he sat as stiffly as he had earlier. "Narsus." The name of the man he loved was a plea, a reassurance, a declaration of his love all over again as Darun reached out and traced one high cheekbone. As Narsus closed his eyes and leaned into his touch, the realization that he was caressing the cheek he'd struck 3 years ago hit Darun with all the elemental force of a lightning storm. How do I reassure him? How do I make him believe I mean all that I've said, that I wanted every touch?

"Darun? I want this, want you more than I've ever wanted anything in my life. I don't want this to be a dream." Narsus felt those gentle fingers cease their caress, then allowed them to turn his head as they applied an insistent pressure instead. He opened his eyes and saw forever colored loving, understanding blue. He hardly dared to breath as Darun reached for his right hand and laid it palm flat against his chest.

"Narsus, this is reality." Darun rested his free hand atop Narsus' on his chest, caressing the backs of those spread fingers. "I love you." He slid his left hand from Narsus' cheek through the silky hair to the back of his head. "I will love you with every breath I take for the rest of my life." Darun leaned forward to taste those so tempting lips again. "I want this as much as you," he breathed into Narsus' slightly parted lips as he ended the kiss. A fire had ignited deep within. He released the hand on his chest and drew Narsus' unresisting form back into his arms. He nuzzled his face into that glorious hair and whispered into the ear he found there, "I want you, Narsus." Ashe, how he wanted him, in all ways. The thought that he desired the man in his arms no longer bothered him, no longer frightened him. This was Narsus. They fit. This was right. The flames soared higher as he gently traced the outline of that delicate ear with his tongue. "Please, may I touch you?"

Broken-winged birds again. What is he...!?! Coherent thought fluttered away. The words Narsus longed to hear, the comfort and reassurance he took from them, faded as he was undone by a storm of the purest desire. "Oh, yes," he breathed as he tilted his head to give Darun better access. But... Darun had never been with another man. Even as the lips that had been tormenting his ear descended to nibble just behind and beneath it, Narsus fought to control his almost instinctive need for this man, fought to control the arousal this man's touch had instantly caused. He attempted a deep breath that turned into something more like a gasp. "Darun, we don't have to." He pulled the sable head away from his neck, running his fingers through that dark, soft hair for the first time. He swallowed hard and clamped down on his desire as he stared into dilated blue. "I would be content if you would just hold me in your arms for the rest of the night."

"For the rest of forever," Darun whispered. Narsus' consideration for his inexperience settled like a warm blanket over Darun's heart. Light was not necessary for him to see Narsus' arousal. He could feel the heat that radiated off his love, could feel it in the flushed torso under his hands, could feel it through his clothes where their groins very nearly touched. Darun slid his hands down to Narsus' backside and pulled the other man closer, so Narsus would feel an arousal that matched his own. He smiled softly as Narsus gasped and closed his eyes. "Narsus, I want to." He reached for Narsus' hands, then stood, drawing Narsus up and into his arms again. "Please," he repeated just before capturing those so soft lips again, "May I touch you?"

"Please," Narsus breathed as his bones turned to liquid fire and he melted into that kiss. Then, those strong, callused fingers brushed over one nipple the same moment Darun's lips dipped to lap at his neck, and Narsus' faint surprise that Darun was the sexual aggressor while he hesitated disintegrated as his desire rose to new levels. He was left with just enough intelligence so that when Darun raised his head after a moment, he was able to step around his chair and draw his love with him over to his bed.

The warm candlelight beside Narsus' bed brought the slender, yet well-muscled figure of his love into sharp relief. Goddess, he was so beautiful, but... The trousers Narsus still wore marred the sleek lines of his body, and suddenly Darun wanted, needed, to see more. He drew Narsus close once more, found, and then loosened the drawstring of the offending garment. As the pants slid down and pooled at Narsus' feet, Darun's breath caught. "So beautiful..." He trailed off, awed, excited beyond reason by the unmistakable evidence of Narsus' desire. His lover's penis was fully erect, was long, slender, just as elegant as the rest of him, and was lovelier than anything Darun had ever seen. Irresistibly drawn, Darun reached out to touch, then hesitated just before he made contact. Suddenly so unsure, he dropped his hand back to his side and swallowed hard.

"Darun?" Narsus fought and won against his almost overpowering arousal. He could plainly see the sudden nervous tension that had stolen over his lover. Was this truly too much too soon? He held out one hand in wordless entreaty.

Does he fear I'm rejecting him? Never. Darun reached for those long, slender fingers and twined them with his own. "Narsus, I want this so much. It's just, I-," He swallowed hard again and looked away from those glittering emerald eyes, realizing he was blushing furiously. "I-, it's just-, oh hell. I've wanted you for so long, and now that I have you, I'm not sure what to do with you." He looked up, startled by the low, sensuous chuckle coming from his lover, was reassured by the gentle squeeze on his fingers.

Is that all? "Darun, any touch from you is a gift of immeasurable value." Narsus brushed the backs of the fingers of his free hand over one angular cheek, then lost himself in blue so dark it was almost black. His voice emerged as a husky whisper. "Touch me in any way you wish. Touch me how you would touch yourself." He couldn't help smiling as Darun's blush deepened, though the eyes his lover didn't turn away seemed to dilate further. "Touch me how you like to be touched." He closed the distance between them for another of those intoxicating kisses. He pulled away, gasping and arching uncontrollably as Darun's strong fingers closed around him. Oh, Ashe, finally.

Am I really doing this to him? Darun smiled softly at Narsus' reaction. He'd never dreamed his touch could cause such a strong reaction. Narsus was breathing deeply, eyes closed, head back, hands holding tightly to his shoulders. His face and torso was flushed, he trembled just the slightest bit as if he were on the very edge of control. He briefly wondered if he could drive his lover over that edge, but lost his train of thought as Narsus' head came up and those slender fingers slid from his shoulders to squeeze his nipples through his vest and shirt.

Need his clothes off. The cloth was too thick a barrier, thwarting Narsus' need to feel the nipples he fondled. Somehow, he fumbled the buttons of Darun's vest and shirt open. Sliding his hands into the opening, he pushed the hanging garments up and off Darun's shoulders. Though he felt the loss of Darun's touch acutely as his lover released his penis so that the clothes could slide off his arms to the floor, it was a small price to pay for what he gained. Finally, he was free to touch what he'd only been allowed to look at throughout their friendship. Darun's powerful chest and arms were sleekly muscled, were dusted with dark, oh so soft hair, thicker than what was on his own nearly smooth chest, but not thick enough to hide those dark, tantalizing nipples. Hands were not enough. Narsus dipped his head for a taste, gently suckling first one, then the other erect.

Oh, my. He's... But no woman had ever done that to him. Darun never realized that the touch of a person's lips and tongue on his nipples could be so impossibly breathtaking, so sensual. No, not just any person's, *Narsus'* lips and tongue. As he stood frozen in his desire, the hands hidden by that waterfall of hair brushed down over his erection, then back up to his belt. He was incapable of any reaction other than to helplessly moan.

Narsus opened Darun's belt by touch, then quickly unfastened his lover's trousers. He knelt, following the motion of his hands as he slid the pants down over Darun's slim hips. Finally freed from the restricting cloth, Darun's erection bobbed gently in time to his lover's gasping breaths, so tantalizingly close to his mouth. Narsus tore his eyes away from a sight he'd only seen in his dreams to gaze up at Darun's flushed face. Any doubts remaining that this was not what Darun wanted died a quick death, killed by the open expression of pleasure and excitement he saw there. Control. Ever so slowly, Narsus managed to control his breathing, and the urge to pounce on his partner and eat him alive. He had to go slowly. He didn't want to move too quickly and overwhelm or frighten Darun. He waited, waited without touching, until Darun's breathing eased a bit and his lover's eyes focused on him. He smiled into eyes gone smoky with desire, then leaned forward to taste the fluid dripping from the tip of his lover's arousal.

The fact that Narsus had gone so still, was no longer touching him, finally penetrated the haze of pleasure that had descended on Darun. He looked down, gasping anew at the sight of the man who knelt before him. He briefly wondered at the sensuous smile he received, but was quickly reduced back to helpless groans as Narsus leaned forward and delicately took his erection in his mouth. Such heat! Retaining enough coherent thought not to grasp too roughly, Darun slid his fingers into the silky mass of hair before him. Nothing had ever felt like this. He hadn't thought that he could become more aroused, yet the feel of those so talented lips and tongue quickly drove him to the point where he was not certain he could stop his completion. Oh, no. Not yet. Moaning, he gently tugged Narsus' head away, then collapsed back to sit on the edge of his lover's bed. He didn't want this to end yet, he'd waited so long.

Well, that's a good place for him to be. Smiling softly, pleased by his effect on his lover, Narsus moved forward, urging Darun back on the bed. He straddled his lover's thighs as Darun sprawled on his back. When Narsus leaned down for a lingering kiss, a groan escaped, one echoed by Darun, as their erections came in contact for the first time. Narsus felt torn. He didn't want their love-making to terrify Darun as that first kiss did, he wanted this to last forever, yet the feel of the man beneath him, his taste, the pleasure tingling through every part of his body made him long for completion with a strength that could not be denied. Beginning a gentle rocking motion that rubbed them so sensually together, and deepening their kiss, Narsus blindly reached to the stand beside his bed and fumbled the drawer open. By touch, he located the small pot of oil he kept handy to soothe away the ache of the sprains and strains he or Elam occasionally suffered from as they sparred. While Darun was so successfully distracted, he coated his fingers, then reached behind himself.

Darun moaned into his lover's mouth, captive of the sensations washing through him. The moisture created by both their excitement caused a slick glide that edged Darun closer and closer to completion. He groaned his protest as Narsus pulled away, sitting up and back, opening his eyes in confusion, wondering why Narsus had stopped his sensual motion.

It had been a very, very long time since anything other than his own fingers had pleasured Narsus where he planned for his lover to pleasure him now. He knew that in spite of his admittedly hasty preparation, this was going to hurt some. At least at first, but oh, the pleasure that would come after, the sensation of being filled and completed by this man he loved more than life itself. In answer to the question in Darun's eyes as he leaned back, to the question he heard in his lover's soft moan, Narsus smiled softly. He reached up and caressed Darun's cheek while his oil slick hand caressed his lover's erection. While Darun's breath caught and his eyes grew wide, Narsus lifted himself up, then slowly lowered himself onto his lover.

What's he... Oh, Goddess. So tight, so hot. He's actually... Darun's hands had slid down to Narsus' thighs as his lover had leaned back, and he felt those strong muscles flex as his lover began to move. He couldn't take his eyes from the sight of the man moving atop him. Narsus' head was thrown back, hair just brushing his thighs on every downward motion, his eyes were closed, his mouth slightly parted. Somehow, he moved his hands until they surrounded his lover's arousal, applying pressure in time to Narsus' own movements. Wonder at what Narsus was gifting him, the pleasure of the sensations he felt, and the pleasure of feeling the pulsing, warm wetness of Narsus' completion formed an overpowering combination which sent him moaning over the edge into his own release.

So beautiful. The reality of their joining was so much more beautiful than any dream or fantasy his imagination had ever devised. As the pleasure of his release ebbed and was replaced by contented joy, Narsus relaxed forward into the arms that Darun wrapped around him. His world could not be more right than it was at that moment. Their lips met in what was so much more than just a simple kiss.