Ah, Goddess. Did we really? The glow of satiation, of contentment, of having the man he loved in his arms warmed Darun from within. It was all so very wonderful. Darun tightened his arms about the fire hot form in his arms as the kiss they were sharing ended, but instead of drawing away, Narsus stayed where he was, their foreheads resting together. "Thank you so much," he whispered into the dimness. Narsus' hair, so long and full, fell about their heads, blocking out the light like a curtain.

He's thanking me? It is I... "No, Darun, no thanks." Narsus shook his head the slightest bit, though he didn't pull away from where he rested. What they had just shared, how he felt... it was so beautiful. For the first time in far longer than he cared to remember, the tight ache in his chest was gone, burned away by the heat of this man. For the first time in so long, he felt... good, happy, whole in a way he'd never been before. Still held atop his lover by those strong arms and unable to resist, Narsus dipped his head so that their lips touched again.

So sweet. "Narsus," Darun sighed into the still parted lips above him. "I never thought it could be like this. You're so beautiful. That was so... so..." He broke off, frowning in frustration at his inability to describe what their love-making had meant to him. Narsus pushed against his arms, and though he felt suddenly cold as he lost the heat of his love's body, he allowed Narsus to sit up.

"It's all right, Darun. I don't have the words either." Narsus reached out and gently traced those slightly frowning lips with his right hand, smiling in delight as he felt the lightest of kisses on his fingertips.

"You?" Darun smiled widely as an opportunity for teasing his so sophisticated wordsmith arose that he just couldn't pass up. "You don't have the words?" The sudden fear that perhaps it was too soon after all the hurt that had passed between them for any kind of teasing melted away as one elegant brow lifted, as those kissable lips stretched in a sardonic grin.

"Pest." Narsus reached out to stroke his fingers across one cheek. Perhaps it was because he'd been denied the permission to touch Darun for so long, but he felt unable to stop. "No, not even I have the words," he continued fondly.

"Simply amazing," Darun murmured, turning his face into his love's touch and closing his eyes. "That's as good a way as any to describe it, simply amazing. It was..." He blindly reached for Narsus' waist, inadvertently trailing his right hand through the still sticky, and beginning to grow cold, evidence on his stomach of Narsus' earlier release. Eyes opening wide in surprise, he raised his hand up so he could see it. "It was messy."

The words. The wide-eyed surprised expression that crossed his lover's face. The way he looked at his hand and the semen dripping from the side of it so at a loss. Narsus couldn't help it. He dissolved into helpless laughter. Oh, Goddess, it felt so good to laugh. He couldn't remember the last time he'd laughed like this. It was as if it were a final closure on that last hurtful chapter of his life. Ashe, how he loved this man. Somehow, he drew in a deep, gasping breath and managed to rein in his laughter, though it threatened again as he saw the merry glint in those deep blue eyes. Smiling, and once more unable to resist, he leaned down for a quick kiss. On his way back up, he confirmed, "Yes, it can indeed be messy. If you'll just hold on a second, I'll get something to clean us up." He froze as he was about to swing his right leg over his lover's body, arrested by the arching of a sable brow, by the movement of Darun's hand towards his mouth.

It had been years, so long since he'd heard that full throated, husky laugh. How he'd missed it. He contentedly, gratefully, surrendered the kiss that Narsus leaned down to capture, holding his wet hand away from his lover's body. A long strand of semen finally breaking free from the rest and dripping down to the bed sheets caught and held his fascinated gaze as Narsus began to move away to get the promised something to clean them up. Instead of his hand, all Darun could suddenly see was Narsus kneeling before him and taking his erection into his mouth. What did it taste like? Slowly, he brought his hand to his mouth and swiped tentatively at the side of it with his tongue. A little salty, a little... bitter? Strange, but somehow sweet, this taste of his lover. It tasted... nice, and the vision of Narsus was replaced with one where he tasted this essence straight from the source. Imagining Narsus' likely response to that, Darun cleaned the rest of his hand with one broad swipe of his tongue. It wasn't until a soft moan came from above, startling him back from where he'd lost himself, that he realized what he'd done. Narsus was staring at him with wide eyes gone nearly black with desire. He was resting on his left knee and hand, his right leg straightened but still across his body, his right arm held close to his chest, hair swinging behind him, mouth slightly parted. Darun blushed as he realized the effect his investigation had on his partner.

Oh my... Goddess, he has no idea what that is doing to me. Narsus could feel excitement and arousal creeping through him as he watched his love lick his hand clean. He couldn't stop the small moan that escaped. Darun froze, hand still near his mouth, and raised wide, startled eyes to his. Only the furious red of Darun's flush released Narsus from that erotic spell. He sagged down to sit on his left side, supported by a slightly trembling left arm, right leg still resting across Darun's thighs. Though he shook his head, he couldn't clear his mind of the vision of Darun so innocently tasting his... Sweet Goddess. Narsus drew in a rather shaky breath as he attempted to regain some semblance of control. Slowly, he wanted this to move slowly. With a smile as shaky as his breathing, he murmured, "If you don't stop that, I'll give us something else we won't be able to describe."

Actually pleased with the effect he was having on his partner once he got over his initial embarrassment, Darun laughed softly. "I'm sorry, Narsus. I didn't mean to..."

"I know." Washcloth, get the washcloth you were going to get. Don't pounce no matter how delicious he looks right now. Goddess, it was as if after depriving himself for so long, the desire that Darun had sparked back to life refused to die to less than a slowly burning ember, ready to flare up at the slightest provocation. He couldn't get enough of this man. Narsus smiled a little, then finished his aborted motion off the bed. He poured some water from the pitcher at the far side of his night stand into the waiting basin, then wet a washcloth that had been hanging off a rod on the side of the table. Wringing it out, he quickly wiped the remains of their lovemaking from his own groin and stomach, then rinsed it so he could offer the same cleansing to his lover.

Watching his love cleaning himself sent the first stirrings of arousal through Darun. He saw again the vision of Narsus moving so beautifully atop him. Before, he'd only had the faintest idea of what two men could do together, but now he knew. He smiled. It had felt so good to him. What had it felt like to Narsus? What would it feel like to be penetrated there? It had been so tight there, how could he have possibly fit? Narsus had seemed to thoroughly enjoy it, but did he... Smile melting into a slightly disturbed frown as Narsus climbed back up on the bed to kneel beside him, Darun asked, or tried to ask, "Narsus? When we-, when I-, oh hell, did I hurt you?" He could feel a flush of embarrassment heating his cheeks again, but was immediately reassured by Narsus' soft, somehow joy-filled, smile.

"Oh, no, Darun. You didn't." Narsus settled himself with heels tucked beneath him beside his lover and began to clean Darun with gentle, caressing strokes of his cloth. He glanced from beneath his hair when Darun didn't respond only to see an obviously dubious expression on that handsome face. He set the cloth aside, then reclined until he was stretched on his left side next to Darun, his head propped on his left arm. He smiled comfortingly, into deep blue that still seemed worried and faintly disbelieving, then leaned down for a quick kiss. "All right, it did hurt," he confessed into the now tentatively smiling lips. Lips that quickly lost the beginnings of that beautiful smile. "Only some," he quickly reassured, "Just a little at first."

Damn, he never... "Narsus, you should have told me. I-, I never want to hurt you again." He fell silent as long, elegant fingers were placed over his lips. There was such love that shone from those wide open emerald eyes that Darun was immediately reassured. He eagerly surrendered the kiss that Narsus leaned down for.

"Shhh, Darun, it was only a little, and well worth the pleasure that came after." He laughed softly at the question in those dark blue eyes. "Yes, it feels... wonderful." Another laugh. "Something else I don't have the words to describe."

It feels... wonderful. The expression Narsus had worn as he'd climaxed filled Darun's mind. It certainly looked as if it felt wonderful. But... could he offer the same gift to Narsus? He thought so, eventually, but he didn't know. He wanted that, but honestly didn't think he was ready for that yet. And how... "How... Can we make it so it doesn't hurt you?"

Narsus smiled again, warmed by his partner's consideration. As he smoothed away the slight frown that Darun wore, he whispered, "Oh, yes. Perhaps next time I can show you how to prepare me properly." He heard the catch in Darun's breathing and leaned down for a long, sensuous kiss, the thought of Darun touching him in such a way straining the edge of his restraint once again.

"Mmm, how's it done properly?" Darun really had no idea what Narsus had done to himself. All he remembered was that there had been surprisingly little resistance when he'd entered his lover, surprisingly little considering there was no natural lubrication there as there was where a man entered a woman. All he knew was that he wanted to learn. He'd meant it when he said he never wanted to hurt Narsus again. Never. Not in any way, especially not in the act of love.

"Oh, lubricants, your fingers, touching me..." Narsus trailed off, asking for and receiving another kiss. Oh, forget the sex, it was heaven just being curled up with this man he loved, able to kiss him whenever he like. Nah, their love-making had been just about as close to heaven as he'd ever come, though this cuddling ran a close second. He smiled into the slightly unfocused eyes of his love, wondering what Darun was seeing. "It probably wouldn't have hurt this time, but I, perhaps, moved too quickly, and it's been a... a very long time since I've done this."

Darun snapped back to the present, Narsus' matter of fact words calling him back from the image of touching his lover... there. A long time? He reached up and brushed some of that silky hair behind his lover's back, then trailed his fingers back across Narsus' nearest cheek. Did Narsus mean what he thought he meant? Concern entering his voice, he quietly asked, "You've not..." He broke off as Narsus shook his head, the hair he'd just brushed back falling back in front of his shoulder again.

"No, I've not," Narsus confirmed, looking down. Very softly, he elaborated, "I've not had a lover since before I met you, Darun." The long, empty years stretched in front of him, then were pushed away by a single touch of Darun's strong fingers beneath his chin.

Narsus looked so sad for just a moment after he lifted his head. Darun was reassured by the soft smile that was his as he gazed into those dark green eyes, but, he was puzzled all the same. At court, all the time they'd been friends, Narsus had enjoyed the reputation of being quite popular with both women and men. "But, I thought..." He broke off before he could finish the sentence, frowning thoughtfully. In all that time, even as he'd been chasing a few of the ladies, he couldn't recall Narsus ever being with someone, ever speaking of someone, ever touching anyone outside of dancing with the ladies at a formal ball. Apparently, he'd thought wrong, and he'd never noticed. Never before had he felt the loss of all those wasted years more than at that moment. He felt like such an idiot.

Narsus grimaced slightly, then shrugged. He was well aware of the reputation he'd sported at court, even if it hadn't been based on any kind of fact. He leaned down and placed a small kiss on the furrowed brow of his lover, then brushed gently at Darun's frown with his fingers. Very softly he admitted, "Everyone thought that. I'm well aware that for some reason, they all thought I slept with anything on two legs. That wasn't true before I met you, and it was even further from the truth after. You see, after I met you, there was no one else that I wanted." Another shrug as he looked away. "You were unattainable, so I did without that type of... companionship. I never really missed it."

Oh Goddess. Darun felt so torn by conflicting emotions at that so quiet confession. He felt so incredibly stupid, that he'd been so oblivious to how Narsus felt. He felt obscurely pleased that Narsus wanted him, and only him, so much that he had denied himself that form of companionship. He was filled with wonder that Narsus loved him so much. He felt the deep pain and guilt over hurting his lover so deeply all over again. He ached at the long, lonely stretch of years his love had endured. He mourned, with a regret that cut straight to his soul, the loss of so many years that they could have had together if only he'd not been so blind, and stubborn, and fearful. "Oh, Narsus, I'm so sorry. So sorry it took me so long to..." He opened his eyes at the touch of gentle fingers on his lips again, was startled by the loving smile on those so soft lips above him.

Narsus could easily follow the flow of emotions that skittered across his love's face, knew exactly what Darun was thinking. "No more apologies, Darun." He followed the gentle touch to his love's lips he'd used to stop Darun's words with a deep kiss, a kiss in which he tried to express just how much Darun was loved, and how little he was blamed. "I love you, I loved you from the moment I first met you. Being alone was my choice, it wasn't your fault that no one besides you held any attraction for me." He reveled in the feel of the arm Darun draped over his waist, gloried that his love pulled him just minutely closer against him. "It doesn't matter anyway, Dar. All that matters is now. All that is important is what we've started and how we continue."

How we continue... Ashe knew he wanted to continue what they'd begun, wanted Narsus at his side for the rest of his life. Darun surged up rolling Narsus onto his back and partially under him as he twined their legs together. He stared into surprised emerald, pleased he could catch his love so off guard and smiled. "I will never cease to be sorry for all that I put you through, for all the time I cost us, and I will try to make it up to you for the rest of our lives." He leaned for a taste of his love's lips, then brushed Narsus' hair aside so he could nip briefly at the exposed ear. "But you're right. All that matters is that we are together. I love you, and I never want to be without you again." He drank in the love shining from the slightly dazed emerald eyes, took comfort in the security of the arms that grasped his waist even more tightly. As Narsus strained upwards for a kiss, he murmured, "When we leave in the morning, I-," He broke off in confusion when Narsus froze beneath him, went utterly and completely still.

Darun was leaving in the morning. Oh, Ashe, for once in his life, Narsus was not dwelling on the past, was not considering the future. For the past couple hours, he'd lived only in the present. Nothing had existed for him besides these four walls, this bed, and the man who held him in his arms. Darun was leaving in the morning. Was he going with him?