She almost
blew her cover when she came close to sitting in the captain’s chair.
She caught herself just in time. She
sat second in command, observing the bridge crew.
They were all familiar faces, but there were some distinct differences.
Paris could only be described as having a scruffier look.
His tousled hair and a five-day beard was lighter in color, but his
personality matched his appearance. He
definitely had a rougher edge to him. After
a quick look at his file she understood why.
Tom’s father was an Admiral in Starfleet, so he had been disowned when
he chose to be part of the Maquis movement.
And in the eyes of the Maquis, he was guilty of Starfleet’s crimes
through association of his father. He
focused all his efforts into his piloting skills and had become the best around.
The demand for those skills was high and his loyalty went to the highest
bidder. Until he was stranded in
the Delta Quadrant that is. Now
gambling made his fortune. No
mention of his marriage in the files sparked her interest in checking
B’Elanna’s records.
The picture
displayed on the screen made her chuckle. The
B’Elanna she knew would rather die than have blonde highlights in her hair.
But she had to admit it was very becoming.
She skimmed the file. One
thing that hadn’t changed was her Klingon temper.
The number of reprimands for violent behavior seemed endless.
In fact, it was enough to prevent her from being the chief of
engineering, but Chakotay had overridden that ruling.
His comments indicated that there was something else involved but he hid
it from the official logs. A
mysterious bond between the two of them caused a wave of jealousy to float
across her.
“Captain”
She snapped out of her reading only to realize she wasn’t the one being
addressed. She still looked towards
Tuvok as he spoke. “The storms
have ceased.” At least Tuvok
hadn’t changed, except for some specks of gray in his hair.
“Tom, take
us into orbit. Tuvok, you’re in
charge of the next mining team.”
Just then an
Orion slave girl entered the bridge. Now
that’s something you didn’t see on Voyager everyday.
Or was it? Apparently
it wasn’t an everyday occurrence on this ship either by the look on
Chakotay’s face when she handed him a PADD.
“Poker,
Seven?” He asked in amusement. Seven?!
Upon a closer look, he was indeed correct, under the raven black hair and
green skin it was Seven and she wasn’t pleased.
“Pool.”
She answered unhappily. That
famous Cheshire cat grin fell across Tom’s face.
Seven glared at him, almost daring him to make a comment. He stayed silent, but his grin infuriated her even more than
any words could, and she stomped off the bridge.
“I guess
it’s not easy being green.” Tom could hold back no longer.
Most of the crew joined him in his laughter, including Janeway.
When the laughter died down, Harry asked the question which was on
everyone’s mind.
“How long
is she going to stay like that?”
“Twenty
four hours from the minute she stepped on the bridge.”
Tom answered. Excitement
flashed on Harry’s face at that bit of news.
He was the most drastic contrast Janeway had seen of her crew so far.
His hair was cropped shorter and spiked, with the very top having the
slightest hint of purple color to it. But
the hair wasn’t what stood out to Janeway; it was the look in his eyes.
They had the look of a wild animal in them.
He had a savage intensity about him.
It must be very attractive to the women on this ship, as even she felt a
small tinge of arousal.
She awoke in
his arms, causing her to smile happily. She
knew he would stay. She placed
gentle kisses all over his face. Pure
joy reflected on his face until his eyes opened and he realized his wasn’t
dreaming. He retreated out of the bed.
“I’m
sorry.” She said quietly.
“I know you’re not the Chakotay of my world.
It’s weird - the two of you are the same, yet there are subtle
differences. And even though you
aren’t my Chakotay, I can’t deny who I am.”
He nodded his head in understanding and went to the shower.
When he came back out of the bathroom, he was greeted by the smell of
breakfast. She looked uncomfortable
in her uniform, but she sat at the table drinking a cup of coffee.
“You cook?
Now I know you’re not the right Kathryn.” He teased her.
“Old Maquis
trick you taught me. I just pulled your replicator log from yesterday morning and
duplicated them.”
“What else
did I teach you?” He wondered aloud.
“I’d love
to show you but that would make us very late to the bridge.”
He blushed at the thought. He
was thankful his Kathryn was never this erotic, otherwise he would have been
spending the rest of his days in the brig for breaking protocols. Then again, he
corrected himself, if she were like this
those parameters wouldn’t even exist.
They stopped
by sickbay before going to the bridge. She
sat on the biobed as the Doctor scanned her.
She had an amused look on her face, which got to the Doctor.
“What?”
He asked abruptly.
“This look
becomes you. Isn’t it your
original matrix?”
“Yes” He
said cautiously not knowing where it would lead.
“On you,
bald looks sexy.” She leaned
forward and caressed the top of his head.
The Doctor
was indignant as he huffed at Chakotay. “I’d say she’s not delirious just
intoxicated.”
Chakotay
thought that clearly the Doctor missed the humor in this.
“Doctor, I doubt she’s the Janeway we are accustomed to.”
After finishing his scans, he agreed with Chakotay’s conclusions.
“DNA proves
this is Kathryn Janeway, but additional scans indicate she belongs to another
dimension. For example, she’s had
a recent surgery in her abdomen that was clearly done by me, but I don’t
remember performing it nor does her medical files show it happening. ”
“Three
months ago, I had to have my gallbladder removed.”
“Thank you,
Doctor. You’ve confirmed our
theory. Please send all your
findings to Tuvok.”
She
felt ill at ease sitting at the head of the table in the meeting room, but once
seated it felt almost comforting. Of
course having Chakotay sitting by her side made things easier. She looked around her senior staff. Common faces but different all the same.
She sensed the devotion they had for their captain.
They had already begun researching a way to send her home and retrieve
their captain. As the Doctor
briefed everyone on his findings, she looked at all the faces of Chakotay’s
crew.
It seemed odd
to see a clean-shaven Tom who was the perfect model of an expectant father and
loving husband. A husband… to B’Elanna, now that was difficult to digest.
The B’Elanna she knew refused to let anyone tie her down. Tom had literally won a night in her bed from a game of
darts. From that evening on,
B’Elanna’s relationship with Tom was on and off so many times, no one could
keep track anymore. It had become
somewhat of a joke around the ship. When
her pregnancy was discovered, she had actually tried to kill Tom, accusing him
of trapping her into a relationship. Chakotay
talked her out of her rage, thus saving Tom’s life.
Recently she began to accept Tom’s persistent offers of help, but it
seemed to be a very rocky road for both of them.
Other than
looking younger, Tuvok was the same, and she imaged he would be a constant in
any universe or time. Her attention
was brought back to the Doctor.
“Her cell
structure is stable so I don’t believe the switch has any damaging side
effects, except maybe for psychological problems.”
This Doctor
chose to keep his original physical parameters.
Hers changed his appearance every few weeks.
After seven years it seemed to be routine.
It was ironic that her Doctor had chosen Bob for his name within a month
of arriving in the Delta Quadrant, but had never settled on his physical
appearance, whereas the Doctor here stuck to his original appearance but
remained undecided on a name.
He gazed
turned to Harry. This version was
timid and tame compared to his duplicate. She
wondered if that was why this Kim was still an ensign.
What a disappointment to all the women on board this ship.
He seemed too naďve to be the womanizer she knew Lieutenant Kim to be.
Seven’s
reserve and composure impressed Kathryn. On
her own ship, Chakotay had made it perfectly clear Kathryn was responsible for
the ex-borg. Kathryn constantly watchful over her, struggled with Seven’s
rebellious behavior on a daily basis. After
gaining her freedom from the Borg, the drone had roamed the ship undergoing
every “human” experience she could find.
Her appetite for food, drink and sex were insatiable.
An endless thrill seeker, she always seemed to be on the very edge of
losing total control.
Seeing Neelix
here was a pleasant surprise. Neelix
left the ship shortly after Kes transformed to a higher form of life.
Kathryn had missed them both dearly.
She hoped she could spend some time with him before she made her way back
to her own ship. She speculated if
she should tell him about Bren. It
wouldn’t be violating a temporal directive would it? How could it be when she was still in the same time, just a
parallel universe?
“May I join
you for lunch, Commander?”
“Kes,”
Janeway whispered in disbelief.
“I know, I
know. I look more and more like my
mother every day. I hear that from
everyone. Can I sit or is the
Captain joining you for lunch?”
“Please
have a seat. Chak .. the Captain is
working through lunch.” Now that is a switch,
she thought as soon as she had spoken the words. She stared at the young woman before her.
Kes’ daughter. She wondered who the father was until she noticed the faint
spots on her skin. Her guess was
confirmed when the woman spoke again.
“It’s my
father’s favorite recipe, but I can hardly stand it.”
Janeway saw the leeola root casserole and knew without a doubt the
woman’s lineage.
“Neelix has
always been the butt of leeola root jokes.”
“I still
miss him.” Neelix was gone?
How? Janeway couldn’t
image Voyager without him.
“We all
do.”
“B’Elanna
to Bren.”
“Bren
here.”
“Can I see
you today.” The anger in
B’Elanna’s voice was clear.
“I’m on
my way to your office now.” She
smiled apologetically at Janeway.
“How’d I
let you talk me into being the ship’s counselor?”
Before Janeway could answer, Bren was almost to the door of the mess hall
heading towards the engineering.
Janeway paced
her quarters, fighting the urge to get a mug of coffee.
She couldn’t sleep, as it was, coffee would only compound the problem.
She was restless thinking about what was happening on her own Voyager.
Were they safe? Was there a
stranded woman pacing the captain’s quarters that was hoping to get home too? For over a week Janeway had reviewed all of the scans done of
the planet and ion storm. She knew
that the key to her way back to the Voyager she belonged to was in that data,
she just had to find it. She placed
standing orders for continuous scans of the planet in case the storms arose
again. Something told her the
storms would be her ticket home and she was right.
Her studies proved that if she transported back to the planet at the
right coordinates when the storm was at the right intensity she would make it
back to her universe. She had
calculated and re-calibrated all the data to determine what those coordinates
were and the level the storm needed to be.
She secretly programmed the transporter with the information, now all she
could do is wait for another storm. She
hoped it would come soon as it became more and more difficult to avoid Chakotay.
Right now, he just took her avoidance as her being stubborn, but she knew
the longer she stayed the greater the chance of him discovering she wasn’t his
first officer.
Chakotay.
She wondered what he was doing at this exact moment. He was ever present in her mind.
It was disturbing being on this ship with this Chakotay.
Unlike the other members of the crew, he was exactly like the Chakotay
from her ship, except for two things. This man was the captain and he refused to
adhere to protocols when it came to her. Although
he was in total control in every aspect of their relationship, both
professionally and personally, he did not dominate her in any way.
She realized one of her biggest fears, of losing control, was unjustified
with him. His love for her could
not be hidden. Although their
personal relationship was common knowledge to the entire crew, he maintained
professionalism while on duty. Off
hours were less rigid, he would hold her hand or give her a kiss on the check,
but still there was a reserved air to him whenever they were within the eyeshot
of the crew. When they were alone,
she could see the smoldering passion rise quickly.
What astounded Janeway the most was the love that radiated from him.
Wherever they were, it made no matter whether on the bridge or in his
quarters, she always saw his love for her.
Back on board her own ship, she always sensed Chakotay’s love, but here
it was out in the open, where she couldn’t deny it.
It was then that the thought came to her.
The Chakotay of this Voyager was the Chakotay who she meets in her
dreams. She startled at the chirp from her comm badge.
“Commander
Janeway, I’m detecting the conditions on the planet are indicative of those
required for an ion storm.”
“Thank you,
Seven. How long before the storms
form?”
“Within the
next twelve to fourteen hours.”
“Contact me
when they begin.” A smile fell across her face, she’d be home soon.
Back to the crew she knew and loved.
Back to Chakotay as her first officer.
Her smile fell. Although she had taken great lengths to keep her distance
from him, it still saddened her to know she would be losing him.
Now knowing that her fantasy Chakotay truly existed would make it that
much harder to face him on her ship.
She began to
entertain the idea of having a more intimate relationship with Chakotay once she
got back, but she soon dismissed it. Not
in her world, there were too many protocols to follow.
Not in my world, but what about
this world? Would I be breaking
protocols here? In a place where my
Starfleet doesn’t even exist? Temporal
Directive? That couldn’t apply
– I’m in the same timeline, just a different universe.
Besides it’s practically expected of my counterpart.
Her mind made up she rushed next door, before she lost her nerve.
She held her breath as she rang the chime.
It
felt like hours had passed as she waited for the door to open.
Her mind torments her the entire time.
Does this make me disloyal? How
could it? It’s Chakotay –
he’s the same man. Am
I really going to do this? I’ll
regret it if I don’t. Will I be
able to face the other Chakotay if I do? Yes,
of course, I will. In fact, it will
be easier. I’ll never have to
wonder what it would be like. But
what if that only makes it harder on me?
Fear strikes her, and she turns to flee back to her quarters but it is
too late. Chakotay opened the door.
His robe hung
loosely around him, exposing silk boxers, which looked as if they had just been
pulled on. His eyes barely cracked open.
She realized he had been sleeping.
“I’m
sorry. I woke you.”
Her voice
woke him fully and his eyes opened taking in the image of her in a long
nightgown, minus the robe, barefoot. He
moved to the side, allowing her to enter. The
light fell across her as she moved; she looked like a beautiful vision.
When she turned to face him, she looked a bit nervous.
But then again he knew she always hated admitting she was wrong.
She found it hard to even say the words.
Oh
yes, it pays to be a patient man, he thought
to himself as a cocky smile fell over his face.
“So.
Am I forgiven?” He held
his arms open. She ran into his
embrace. From that first hug, she
forgot she was the captain, for tonight, she was just Kathryn.
“I’ve
been too stubborn.” She admitted to herself more than to him.
“Two weeks
has been a long time.” He agreed. “It
must be a record for us.” He
gently took her chin in his hands and lifted it to force her eyes to meet his.
“Let’s do something about that, shall we?”
The crew
discovered the solution to Kathryn’s problem before the shift had ended.
The storms were the key. They
had determined the correct coordinates to beam her to and the level the storm
needed to be. Now all she could do
is wait for another storm.
And wait she
did. For a week now she had waited.
She paced her quarters, fighting the urge to get a mug of coffee.
She couldn’t sleep, as it was, coffee would only compound the problem.
She was restless thinking about what was happening on her own Voyager.
Were they safe? Was there a stranded woman pacing the first officer’s
quarters that was hoping to get home too? What
bothered her the most was how lonely she felt.
This crew had all treated her as if she was their captain, but she missed
Chakotay. The Chakotay of this
world was just like the one of her ship except he refused to let her into his
heart. She had no doubt that he
loved her, that much she sensed, but he refused to let it show.
He had built up a barrier between them to hide his love.
She hurt at the thought that she was the cause of that barrier.
She knew that logically she shouldn’t feel responsible for what the
other Janeway did. Still somehow
the two Janeways were connected – a part of each other. That Janeway may not feel guilty by overlooking his love, but
she most certainly did.
The door
chimed. She opened the door to find
Chakotay standing before her, looking somewhat nervous.
He caught his breath when the door opened before him exposing his captain
once again wearing one of his shirts. He
wondered if he would ever be able to put on a shirt again within thinking of
her.
“I… uh…
I hope I didn’t wake you.” He fought to talk coherently.
“No, not at
all. I actually would like some
company. Please come in.”
He followed her lead into the room and sat next to her on the couch.
“I came to
bring you some good news. Seven is
predicting storms to begin within the next fourteen hours.”
He told her as he tried to slide to the opposite side of the couch
without her noticing. She was aware
of the space he put between them.
“Why
haven’t you ever told her?”
“Who?
What?” He knew what she meant, but he hoped by playing dumb that she would
drop the subject.
“Your
Captain Janeway. Why haven’t you
told her you loved her?”
He let out a
deep sigh. “I tried to once, but
she didn’t want to hear it.” He
thought back to that night on New Earth. Hell, I hadn’t even come out and said the words.
Ancient legend. Angry Warrior.
“She loves
you, but for whatever reason she can’t admit it.”
He looked at her, with doubt in his eyes.
“We’re the same – I know she does.”
She told him more firmly. He
nodded his acceptance. “So, why
do you continue to hold back?”
“It would
only make things harder on her. The
burden of responsibility is very heavy on those tiny shoulders.
My confession of love would only multiply it.
Make it that much harder to follow protocols.”
“So you put
her needs before your own.” Now
even more than before she saw how closely this man was a reflection of her own.
“Of
course.” He admitted without
hesitation or regret.
“What about
your needs?” He thought that he
had made himself clear - her needs came first.
She continued. “You need to tell her as much as she doesn’t need to hear
it. If you don’t, you’ll
eventually fall apart and she’ll never forgive herself if that happens.”
She knew he believed her, possibly had been on the edge recently.
“Tell her.
Tell me!” She was suddenly
pleading with him. She moved next
to him, their bodies pressed tightly together as she wrapped her arm around him
and stared into his eyes. “I love
you, Chakotay.”
“Kathryn, I
love you.” He told her and meant
it.
She felt his
body relax in her arms, the burden on his shoulders finally lifted.
The stare lingered. She had
started out with the intentions of just making a peace with him and herself, but
now she felt she had to do more. She wanted him to know what it was like to love
her, and to be loved by her. She kissed him gently.
“Let me be
your captain tonight. Your Kathryn.”
He knew at
that moment that she was the same woman he fell in love with.
No one else would give of herself so selflessly.
He returned the kiss forgetting who he was, losing himself to Kathryn.
She lay in
his arms feeling peace for the first time in years.
After several hours of love making, both of them had fallen still and
silent. Chakotay’s breathing had slowed and she assumed he was
asleep.
“You’re
not Kathryn, are you?” Her eyes flew open to see him looking down at her.
She knew her face had already answered him.
“How did
you know?”
“I had my
suspicions for several days, but I couldn’t be positive.
Until tonight. You responded
to me as if it was the first time we had ever made love.
I had almost forgotten what that had been like.
Thank you.” He kissed her
benevolently. The touch of his lips
made her want to experience him all over again, but the spell was broken.
She felt Captain Janeway taking over once more.
“You’re
leaving when the ion storms become turbulent on the planet’s surface?”
It was more of a statement than a question.
“Yes.”
She confirmed. He understood
everything, without her telling him a word.
He smiled down at her again, love shining in his dark eyes.
“Promise me
you’ll never forget tonight.”
“No,
never.” She whispered her agreement. His
lips were on hers as soon as the words were spoken, and the Captain in her
disappeared.
He had never
felt such joy in his life. He was
so grateful to be given such a priceless gift.
He listened to her breathing, thinking it was one of the most beautiful
things he had ever heard. Even in
her sleep she was incredible. She
stirred and he realized she hadn’t been sleeping.
The closeness of her body made him burn with desire once more. He knew his time with her was short. That he should make the
most of it.
“I have to
leave soon.” She knew his
unspoken thoughts. She kissed him
tenderly. She fell onto her back
pulling him on top on her. “Love
me.” She whispered into his ear.
“I’ll
never stop loving you.” He said before pressing his lips to hers once more.
They walked
down the corridor hand in hand. Janeway
had mixed emotions running through her. She
was anxious to get back to her own ship, but reluctant to leave a place where
she could love Chakotay freely. They
reached the transporter room and there was no turning back.
They were the only ones there. She
stepped onto the transporter pad, yet she refused to let go of Chakotay’s
hand. He grabbed her face with both
hands and pulled her lips to his. After
the night they had just experienced it was remarkable that he had so much
passion still to give.
“Remember
your promise,” he whispered, then kissed her on the forehead and walked to the
console. Tears were beginning to
form in her eyes and she quickly wiped them away.
Just as the transporter beam began to surround her, she spoke her last
words to him.
“I love
you, Chakotay.”
“I know.”
She barely heard the words over the hum as her particles began to dematerialize.
They walked
in silence to the transporter room. They
stood alone on the transporter pad, his hands entwined in hers, not wanting her
to go, yet knowing she couldn’t stay. A
single tear slid down his face. She
kissed the tear away, then moved to his lips.
She still had so much more to give him, despite the night of passion they
had shared.
He stepped
back, a pained look on his face. She
knew he would torture himself once his captain returned, unless she could make
him see she gave of herself willingly because the other Janeway could not.
The transporter started to swirl around her.
“Remember,
you did not betray me.” He understood her last words and nodded.
“Thank
you.”
The
transporter pad flickered with light, then a form materialized.
Kathryn stood before him wearing a Starfleet uniform.
They stared at each in silence for a few moments.
His smile appeared, the dimples welcoming her. She returned the grin and rushed into his arms.
He spun her around in a circle.
“Spirits,
I’ve missed you!”
The
transporter pad flickered with light, then a form materialized.
Janeway stood before him wearing a brown leather skirt and a white silk
blouse.
He smiled.
“Welcome back, Captain.”
She looked up
and suddenly their eyes meet and locked. They
both knew instinctively what had happened between them, or actually between
themselves and their counterparts. With
the night of expressed love still fresh on both of their minds, they had
forgotten to hide their feelings. Now,
in this moment, both were exposed. The
love indisputable reflected between them. She
stepped down off the transporter pad. She attempted to smile at him.
It was half hearted, as the sorrow on her face was evident.
He gave her a weak smile in return.
She was back
where she belonged and regardless of all the responsibility and protocols, she
wouldn’t have it any other way. The
Captain Janeway in her took over when she saw Chakotay’s nod of understanding.
“It’s
good to be back, Commander.”
He watched
her leave the transporter room, and quickly followed behind her, shaking his
head with a sigh. His captain was back.