Don't drink and drive.
Tastee 29 Diner
Reviewed by Brian and Matt on a regular basis.
Where
10536 Lee Highway
703.591.6720

It is right by the intersection of 123 and Lee Highway. These are both major roads - you can't miss it.

Summary
The best lil' diner round these parts. Good for everything that a diner is.
Specialties
Diner food at any hour.

Fairfax City’s got a few examples of old architecture, buildings that obviously predate most of the suburban sprawl we live in. Amid ultra-modern office complexes for belly-up startups with names like “BrainThought” one can see the garish signage of a half century ago, faded rainbows lit with rows of filament luminescence surviving outside a few motels and diners. Seriously, 29/50 through Fairfax and the nearby stretch of 29 proper right before Gallows Road are pieces of some prehistoric Miracle Mile, and their weathered but still standing aesthetic is cause for exaltation. And there’s no better place to commence this worship than in the obvious focus of the movement, the ultimate artifact, the Tastee 29 diner.

The menus proudly proclaim the founding of this “building” (part of that classical diner movement in which one is never quite sure if the design pays homage to the classic double-wide or if this is, indeed, a converted trailer) in 1947, and since then it has been given it’s due and been recognized as a historical landmark. But this isn’t some artificial theme park recreation, Tastee 29 has a purity in it’s authenticity. Why is it still a 1940s style diner? One gets the feeling that much of the reason is that remodeling would be too expensive. The wait staff, too, is of our century (not instructed to playact the part of throwbacks). I’ve been privy to some phenomenally interesting conversations with my servers when a Tuesday night drinky needed a shot of sobriety at its end. This place is a magnet for characters, the insomniac versions of Hayworth at Schwabs. In fact, let me recommend the midnight to 8 AM staff, Sunday through Wednesday, if I remember that shift breakdown right. They could not have been friendlier to us.

In high school I wasn’t a big fan of this place, my cynicism layered on a sense of manufacture to its atmosphere. Nowadays, I’m of a different mind; there might be some strategy in keeping the place simple and absolute, but it’s still simple and absolute. I’ve always been happy of the volume resulting from a single coffee order. I never get a cold “loitering to long” shoulder before I’m ready to depart myself. The food’s greasy by design, which might be means for complaint to some; I’ll continue to fall into the opposing camp up until my third heart attack.

They say the strongest memory cues, and therefore some of the most meaningful sensory data, are olfactory. As we left Tastee 29 on Matt’s first visit, he sniffed his jacket, and said something like, “Cool, I can still smell the fried food. My jacket’s going to smell like diner.” Maybe that says it all; Tastee 29 has got exactly the right smell.
 

The American Diner is a archetype establishment all unto itself. You find them everywhere, easily identified by their cozy neon glow and shiny chrome stell trim. Some have waitresses in aprons on roller skates, some have the black and white checkered floor, some have ceramic busts of Elvis. The one thing they all have in common is that they chase the ghost of the essential diner-ness. Tastee 29 Diner is as close to that ideal as I have been. No quirks, no novelties and no gimmicks (those are for 50's diners, not 40's), Tastee 29 is true fried food and bottomless coffee cup diner through and through.

But first some history. . .

The first time I came here it was on one of Brian and my "walkabouts". Basically we pick a direction and drive while looking for something new. This was one of those sites that Brian knew of but I didn't and he insisted we stop. I was impressed by the appearance of this joint from the outside. I judge diners by the amount of grease on the exterior walls - the more the better. This place had enough that it may be best to visit the first time at night. The interior is a different story - a little cramped, but clean and spic and span, just as it should be. As you enter note the vintage mechanical cash register and 'yjbadftjb' sign by the clock. Go ahead, ask the staff about that last one.

I decided to test the diner with a true diner order - coffee and a fried egg sandwich. Both were delivered quickly, efficiently and with a friendly smile. We chatted with our waitress - always a good sign. The food was good and I left happy.

Since then I've been here after drinking at night. I've been here before going out hunting in the early morning. I've been here after hunting when I'm all nasty. I've been here while trapped in the throes of insomnia. It doesn't matter. The nice thing about 29 Diner is that it truly is a 24 hour operation and you get the same good food and friendly service whenever you visit.

My friends know that this is the diner by which all other diners are judged. They have pitted their favorite 24 hour places versus mine and have always been found wanting. Truly, Tastee 29 is a tough act to follow.

Things Nearby Photos
If I were at Patriots Café at closing time, I could easily walk to Tastee 29 and wait it out until I was competent to drive home. But this is the middle of Fairfax City, the literal center of our country, what isn’t it close to? I like the idea of this little doublewide being the rotational axis for Fairfax at large.
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