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Quotes
Quotes!!
�Life is a disease; and the only difference between one man and another is the stage of the disease at which he lives.� -George Bernard Shaw
�Living is a sickness to which sleep provides relief every sixteen hours. It�s a palliative. The remedy is death.� -S�bastien-Roch Nicolas de Chamfort
�Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave.� -Quentin Crisp
�Like figures on an ancient clock,
Warrior, or saint, or clown
(All�s one to the machine) that wake
When each stale hour is done,
And with preliminary whirr
Play their allotted role,
Stiffly advance, engage, retire
Trembling a little still,
So blandly nodding Death and I
Nearer and nearer march,
At the click of night and the click of day,
� Click-clack! We approach, we approach!� -C. D. Andrews
�It is as natural to die as to be born; and to a little infant, perhaps, the one is as painful as the other.� -Francis Bacon
�Perhaps the whole root of our trouble, the human trouble, is that we will sacrifice all the beauty of our lives, will imprison ourselves in totems, taboos, crosses, blood sacrifices, steeples, mosques, races, armies, flags, nations, in order to deny the fact of death, which is the only fact we have.� -James Baldwin
We all labour against our own cure, for death is the cure of all diseases.� -Sir Thomas Browne
�Death never takes the wise man by surprise, He is always ready to go.� -Jean de La Fontaine
�Thank Heaven! the crisis,
The danger, is past,
And the lingering illness,
Is over at last,
And the fever called �Living�
Is conquered at last.� -Edgar Allan Poe
�Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.� -George Bernard Shaw
�But what is all this fear of and opposition to Oblivion? What is the matter with the soft Darkness, the Dreamless Sleep?� -James Thurber
�Here we are, we�re alone in the universe, there�s no God, it just seems that it all began by something as simple as sunlight striking on a piece of rock. And here we are. We�ve only got ourselves. Somehow, we�ve just got to make a go of it. We�ve only ourselves.� John Osborne
�There is no God, Nature sufficeth unto herself; in no wise hath she need of an author.� Marquis de Sade
�The want of belief is a defect that ought to be concealed when it cannot be overcome.� Jonathan Swift
�We go to gain a little patch of ground That hath in it no profit but the name.� -William Shakespeare
�That man is not truly brave who is afraid either to seem or to be, when it suits him, a coward.� -Edgar Allan Poe
�t will be found, in fact, that the ingenious are always fanciful, and the truly imaginative never otherwise than analytic.� -Edgar Allan Poe
�The nose of a mob is its imagination. By this, at any time, it can be quietly led.� -Edgar Allan Poe
�I have no faith in human perfectability. I think that human exertion will have no appreciable effect upon humanity. Man is now only more active�not more happy�nor more wise, than he was 6000 years ago.� -Edgar Allan Poe
�Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race. All through history mankind has been bullied by scum. Those who lord it over their fellows and toss commands in every direction and would boss the grass in the meadow about which way to bend in the wind are the most depraved kind of prostitutes. They will submit to any indignity, perform any vile act, do anything to achieve power. The worst off-sloughings of the planet are the ingredients of sovereignty. Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy the whores are us.� -P. J. O�Rourke
�The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.� -Mark Twain
�Of all God�s creatures there is only one that cannot be made the slave of the lash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with a cat it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat.� -Mark Twain
�There is nothing you can say in answer to a compliment. I have been complimented myself a great many times, and they always embarrass me�I always feel that they have not said enough.� -Mark Twain
�We never become really and genuinely our entire and honest selves until we are dead�and not then until we have been dead years and years. People ought to start dead and then they would be honest so much earlier.� -Mark Twain
�We may not pay Satan reverence, for that would be indiscreet, but we can at least respect his talents. A person who has for untold centuries maintained the imposing position of spiritual head of four-fifths of the human race, and political head of the whole of it, must be granted the possession of executive abilities of the loftiest order.� -Mark Twain
�If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.� -Mark Twain
�He is useless on top of the ground; he ought to be under it, inspiring the cabbages.� - Mark Twain
�To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler�and no trouble.� Mark Twain
�Such is the human race. Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.� -Mark Twain
�I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious�except he purposely shut the eyes of his mind & keep them shut by force.� Mark Twain
�When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.� -Mark Twain
�All animals, except man, know that the principal business of life is to enjoy it.� -Samuel Butler
�He travels the fastest who travels alone.� -Rudyard Kipling
�If we see light at the end of the tunnel, It�s the light of the oncoming train.� -Robert Lowell
�The mass never comes up to the standard of its best member, but on the contrary degrades itself to a level with the lowest.� -Henry David Thoreau
�Strange as it may seem, no amount of learning can cure stupidity, and formal education positively fortifies it.� -Stephen Vizinczey
�An empty head is not really empty; it is stuffed with rubbish. Hence the difficulty of forcing anything into an empty head.� -Eric Hoffer
"Spare the ducttape, spoil the job." - Red Green
How many trombonists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one, but he'll do it too loudly.
�Gods are fragile things; they may be killed by a whiff of science or a dose of common sense." -Chapman Cohen
"Death is the only inescapable, unavoidable, sure thing. We are sentenced to die the day we're born." -Gary Mark Gilmore
"I wash my hands of those who imagine chattering to be knowledge, silence to be ignorance, and affection to be art." -Kahlil Gibran
"Life is wasted on the living." -Douglas Adams,
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." �Robert Frost
"Religion is the idol of the mob; it adores everything it does not understand." -Frederick the Great
"We do not have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds; our planet is the mental institution of the universe." -Johann von Goethe
I believe today that my conduct is in accordance with the will of the Almighty Creator." [Adolph Hitler, _Mein Kampf_, pp. 46]
�Faith is believing something you know ain�t true.� Mark Twain
"Religion is excellent stuff for keeping common people quiet." Napoleon Bonaparte
"I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours." Stephen Roberts
�You can cry until there is nothing wet in you. You can scream and curse to where your throat rebels and ruptures. You can pray all you want, to whatever god you think will listen and, still, it makes no difference. It goes on, with no sign as to when it might release you and you know that if it did relent, it would not be because it cared.� Jhonen Vasquez (Johnny The Homicidal Maniac)
�Beauty is ephemeral, pain is forever.� Jhonen Vasquez (wobbly headed bob)
�If you can talk brilliantly about a problem, it can create the consoling illusion that it has been mastered.� -Stanley Kubrick
"To surrender to ignorance and call it God has always been premature, and it remains premature today." -- Isaac Asimov
"The Bible contains legendary, historical and ethical contents. It is quite possible to consider them separately, and one doesn't have to accept the legends in order to get the ethics. Fundamentalists make a grave mistake to insist on the letter of the writings, because they drive away many who can't swallow the Adam-and-Eve bit" -- Isaac Asimov, "I. Asimov: A Memoir"
�I don't believe in an afterlife, so I don't have to spend my whole life fearing hell, or fearing heaven even more. For whatever the tortures of hell, I think the boredom of heaven would be even worse.� �Isaac Asimov
"Ooh. I believe in pain by whatever name you wish to disguise it under. So yesss!! I do believe in love!!" ~Jhonen Vasquez (Wobbly Headed Bob)
�The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they�re going to be when you kill them.�-William Clayton
"Human beings...just get carried away by new ideas, like dressing up in jackboots and shooting people, or dressing up in white sheets and lynching people, or dressing up in tie-dye jeans and playing guitars at people. Offer people a new creed with a costume and their hearts and minds will follow." --Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, Good Omens
"It's true, once you're in the Pep Band, you never get it out of your system. It's like being a Marine. Or catching herpes. Whichever." --Bill Thomas
�Nothing quite brings out the zest for life in a person like the thought of their impending death.� Jhonen Vasquez (Johnny The Homicidal Maniac)
�The most terrifying thing about the universe is not that it is hostile but that it is indifferent� - Stanley Kubrick
"Everybody is a potential murderer. I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices . . ."--Clarence Darrow
"The basis of optimism is sheer terror." �Oscar Wilde
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." -Albert Einstein
�Stupidity gets up early; that is why events are accustomed to happening in the morning� -Karl Kraus
"Oh, it's nice to get up in the mornin', But it's nicer to lie in bed." -Sir Harry Lauder
"Babies haven't any hair; Old men's heads are just as bare; between the cradle and the grave lie a haircut and a shave" - Samuel Hoffenstein
�War is an inestimable boon to creation as a whole, because it does offer some faint hope of exterminating the human race.� -T. H. White (a reason in favor of war given in The Book of Merlyn)
�What are clouds
But an excuse for the sky?
What is life
But an escape from death?� �James Clavell (Yabu�s death poem, Shogun)
�There is a method in man�s wickedness- It goes up by degrees.� �Francis Beaumont/John Fletcher (A king and No King, act V, sc. 4)
�Time is the school in which we learn,
Time is the fire in which we burn.� �Delmore S
�Insanity in individuals is something rare - but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule.� - Friedrich Nietzsche
"Without music, life would be a mistake" � Nietzsche
�Every man has his price." This is not true. But for every man there exists a bait which he cannot resist swallowing. To win over certain people to something, it is only necessary to give it a gloss of love of humanity, nobility, gentleness, self-sacrifice - and there is nothing you cannot get them to swallow. To their souls, these are the icing, the tidbit; other kinds of souls have others.� - Nietzsche
�What is it: is man only a blunder of God, or God only a blunder of man?� -Friedrich Nietzsche
�Tiger got to hunt, bird got to fly; Man got to sit and wonder 'why, why, why?' Tiger got to sleep, bird got to land; Man got to tell himself he understand.� - Kurt Vonnegut
�Just because we think we�re so wonderful doesn�t mean we really are. We could be really terrible animals and just never admit it because it would hurt so much.� � Kurt Vonnegut
�A life based on reason will always require to be balanced by an occasional bout of violent and irrational emotion, for the instinctual drives must be satisfied.� � Cyril Connolly
"Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?" -John Mendosa
"Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life." -Terry Pratchett
�Science fiction is the most important literature in the history of the world, because it's the history of ideas, the history of our civilization birthing itself. ...Science fiction is central to everything we've ever done, and people who make fun of science fiction writers don't know what they're talking about.� � Ray Bradbury
�Anything you dream is fiction, and anything you accomplish is science, the whole history of mankind is nothing but science fiction.� � Ray Bradbury
�People care more about being perceived happy than finding mental stability. They destroy their bodies and ignore their minds so that they will fit in and be liked. Their whole being is prostrated before the altar of conformity leaving an empty shell ravaged of the human spirit.� � Scott Hastings
�If life gives you lemons, keep them. Because, hey, free lemons.� � Unknown
�The best part about hating people is that I never run out of great ideas.� � Dogbert (Scott Adams)
�Think For Yourself.
Convictions Cause Convicts.
The Conclusion You Jump To May Be Your Own.
The Pun is Mightier then the Sword.
Truth: If its not one thing its another.
Reality: It all depends on how you look at it.
The Enlightened take things Lightly.
No Two Equals are the Same.
Tis an ill wind that blows no minds.
Is the thought of a Unicorn a Real Thought?
Curb Your Dogma.� - Unknown member of The Discordian Society
"Besides, as everyone knows, I detest talking seriously about painting. And even more, I detest talking seriously about anything at all. It's the best way for people not to understand each other. Don't you think? - Pablo Picasso
�Ignorance may be bliss, but stupidity is just bloody annoying.� � unkown
�Any pile of stunted growth unaware that entertainment is just that and nothing more, disserves to doom themselves to some dank cell, somewhere, for having been so stupid. Movies, books, T.V., music � they are all just entertainment not guidebooks for damning yourself.� Jhonen Vasquez (Johnny the Homicidal Maniac)
�One good thing about music: when it hits, you feel no pain. So hit me with the music.� � Bob Marley
�Look again at that dot. That's here. That's home. That's us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every "superstar," every "supreme leader," every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there - on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam." - Carl Sagan
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