Everything began for my when I was a little girl, so much that my memories are sometimes a bit confused. I should have had between 3 and 4 years when for the first time I put on girl's clothes.
One afternoon, after seeing my daily dose of cartoons, enter to the room of my sisters and serve several undies and some blouses and I locked in my room. I put on a undies and one of the blouses and then I put on my short pants. I don't know how much time I was this way dressed, but it should have been a half hour. During that whole time I played to be a girl . I imagined that other children saw me and they told me that it was pretty. When I finished I returned the clothes, but for my pleasure I stay for my the panties.
The housekeeper something have suspected, because interrogated me later about what I was doing and she realized that I even had my sisters' clothes. Kindly she told me that those panties were not mine. I still listen my answer. I told him that they were mine and that it won't take out them.
A lot of time passed without I took out my sisters' clothes again. However, I never stop to play
like I was a girl. In fact, many nights, before falling asleep, I imagined I would be dressed
like a girl. I don't know why, during this time, I never takes out again clothes.
It seemed that it was enough with simply to imagine. During the day, I behaved as a boy anyone,
I had my friends with those that I game soccer or another games, and in the school it was one more
than my course.
But sooner or later it had happen again. And this way, when I was 11 years old, I took the woman's clothes again. I suppose for then it was not enough with imagining and now I wanted to be able to see me like a girl.
This time was not the closet of my sisters, but was of my mother. there it was where I found two bras,
one black and another pink that they were my first woman clothes. Immediately I locked in the
bathroom and I put them to me. So that I had left better, stuff them with socks. As soon as I
looked at myself to the mirror, the transformation had been carried out. There it was me, with a
body that had chests and with a bra to hold them. My stomach was full with butterflies (for that reason
I chose them as mascot of my pages). That sensation is something that I will never forget.
When I became an adolescent I discovered that I liked girls (the real girls). And I was in love several times. But this brought confusion to my life. How was it possible that I liked girls if on the other hand I liked to get dressed like one of them? In that time, my "incursions" to the closet of my sisters were made something almost permanent and many times I stayed something of their clothes among my things. Sometimes, my mother found my sisters' clothes in the "mistaken" place, however she never told me anything about that, even when I am sure that something suspected. I suppose that she never spoke of this topic with me because she didn't know as facing the possibility that their son was "abnormal"
It was also the time of the religious doubts. My family has always had a strong religious formation and it was not necessary that I asked my parents their opinion to know that my desire to get dressed like a girl would be seen as something sinful. I also doubted what God thought about my.
On the other hand in our society that has been always macho and colonial, showing any ambiguous
behavior regarding the biological sex finished in jeers and in verbal attacks that were always
humiliating.
Due to these three situations it is that I was always an introverted young and had few friends,
condition didn't help a lot to understand my "problem". I began to live a double life, on one hand
I was a normal adolescent and I liked women and, on the other hand, I was a young with many
queries and I liked getting dressed like a girl.
A
I was growing. My liking about the feminine clothes was made more refined.
when I was 25 years old I left to live alone more than anything because I had to finish
my career in the university and my parents should travel outside of the country.
Those years were the calmest for my. It was when, for
first time, I dared to enter to a feminine interior clothing store and
buy bras and panties. I bought skirts and blouses in
the big stores, where it leaves easier to pass incognito.
The restlessness for which my parents could say passed to the forgetfulness and as for the society, I didn't care it, since like I lived alone, I could to get dressed the times that I wanted in the solitude of my home.
Alone the religious doubts could not be forgotten, and they were many nights in that I didn't sleep trying to be justified before God.
However, a new concern occupied my life. For that time I already had a girlfriend with which had serious plans of marrying. The problem was if I have to tell to her my more and more frequent transformations and, of having to be said it, how to make it.
I decided that I would not tell him anything, because I was convinced that when we was married,
my likes for woman's clothes would pass to a second place and
finally they would disappear.
We marry, but I never leave of crossdressed. So, one day, tired of hiding of the person that I love, I decided to say him everything. It was not easy for her and for me. At the beginning her not know as reacting but with the time she realized that what I told him was certain. I had the hope that she would take it well, but it didn't happen. Many discussions and fights had their origin in my behavior. Many were the hours that in psychologists, matrimonial consultants and psychiatrists that we to spend, but finally she realized that that that me toward era something with that which we could live. I was able to reconcile with God when realizing that Him loves me for all that I am and if I am this way is for their want (I don't understand so that it can serve Him what I am this way since 3 or 4 years old, because I could not stop my desire to get dressed like a little woman)
I don't know if you understand me. I am a man and I like women. I love my wife and I am defined as heterosexual. However, inside my live a little woman. She leave from me some times and I feel like a beautiful girl. Why am I this way? I don't know it, but I know that I have achieved something of peace in my life. . Now my wife understand me and rather sometimes herself helps me to get clothes or make-up products. I also understood that for her it was difficult to discover that their ideal man was not so ideal...
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