In About me I have told you some of my life. Now, in this page, I will tell you what I feel and I think about my.
As I have said, my first time was when I had 3 or 4 years. When I remember I think what difficult to believe that to that age it could feel the travestirme necessity. It seems lie but it was this way
In my childhood, everything was a game, as if to play to be girl was the same thing that to play to the ball, with the difference that was a private and hidden game. As not every day I could put on my sisters' clothes, sometimes, when I go to sleep, it used a pijama with short pants and, when entering in contact my skin with the savannas, it felt as if it was dressed with a skirt. That was enough so that in my imagination me became girl. This didn't happen every night, but when it happened, it was sleeping playing to be little woman.
There was a time in that I was convinced that some day, when growing, I would become a woman. I even once told to my mother and that causes a small but significant scandal in my house.
To get dressed like a woman became something constant for me during my adolescence, I even took out clothes of the closet of my sisters and it hid them in my room.
My games became more complex and I began to invent histories in those that I imagined that I was an ordinary girl that goes to the school, and I fell in love with some boy and something like that. But soon that girl's sexual desire that there was also inside my appeared and those games became desires that were sometimes carried out was already masturbating or imagining to make love.
But my conscience didn't leave me calm. While I was dressed everything it was beautiful and sublime, but I always finished so excited that I was finished with an orgasm. Then the remorses appeared because it felt that to make that was bad. That little voice that told me that I was "man" and not a "woman". He told me that that behavior was a lack of respect to all the women (including my mother), and that everything decreased to a complicated way of masturbating...
When I left to live alone, all change. The fact of being able to get dressed at home without having to hide transformed my femininity. I could begin to experience and to improve my feminine image. As I no longer had the clothes of my sisters to use it became necessary to buy them. The first times it was something exciting. The edginess before entering to a feminine interior clothing store, to consult to the saleswoman. And later, when I left the store and it took those handbags with those showy and attractive logos...
When I arrived at my house I proved me all the clothes to determine if the sizes were the correct ones. Then I was happy when being transformed in a woman another time, now with own clothes.
With the make-up it passed something similar, but in smaller scale because I had more experience in purchases. First I bought magazines of make-up, then I review several local in search of the products that I wanted to buy and finally I bought them.
It impresses me what a little bit of make-up makes for my image. From the first time and until today's day, whenever I put on make-up the result it is very pleasing. It is as to leave aside definitively the man and to allow the woman to leave. I cannot get dressed like a woman without using a good make-up.
With these improvements in my femininity, the blame feelings were disappearing little by little. I was able to make the peace with myself and I separated what means to be man in the daily life of what is to feel woman in the privacy of my house.
For my, to get dressed like a woman is something more than to contemplate in a mirror that feminine image. It is a permanent search of the meaning of being woman, with all that implies it.
To my I like to be beautiful and sexy, but I also like to feel what the women should feel daily, although I can make it only few hours.
Due to the above-mentioned that those "games" that before were simple now they are more complex. When I get dressed I don't imagine that I am a woman, I AM A WOMAN. With the bras I make them some improvements so that it seems that I have nipples and these they can be guessed under the blouses or dresses, like a woman. I buy a special shorts that increase the size of the buttocks and whit a little trick I increase the size of my hips.
Now my histories are as the life of any woman. I feel that I have a vagina, uterus, ovaries and I see myself having periods of fertility and until menstruation. I have played to be a schoolgirl, to be a teacher, secretary, nurse, housewife and, why not, a prostitute.
And when I imagine that I make love, I like to feel I am being penetrated by my vagina until arriving to the orgasm. I have gotten myself maternal clothes and I have gotten dressed as if I was pregnant.
I have also been girlfriend, they have kissed me and they have proposed me marriage, I have married and I have been mother, as any woman.
Sometimes simply I get dressed as a woman for the pure pleasure of getting dressed, for simply to leave aside the hardness of being man to live the feeling, the sweetness and the fragility of a woman...
...as any woman
I know that to some of you all this can seem them a madness, but it is this way like I live my femininity.
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