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6/05/02 CRAZED FAN
GOES ON MURDEROUS RAMPAGE @ CHAOS CONCERT.
DRUMMER AND LEAD GUITARIST FOUND WITHOUT HANDS. By Mike Hunt
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Friday night at an 8Ball Chaos concert is nothing new for many fans these days. Last week started out no different as the band took the stage for the first time in a month. They have kept a low profile since the Phiasco in Phoenix, as it’s now being called. For those of you there to witness the debauchery, you know what I am talking about. 2:15 A.M., the band
has just finished their rendition of Michael Row Your Boat Ashore, always a
crowd fav. As their bass player
addresses the crowd on the importance of oral hygiene, a crazed fan - later
to be found doped up on a lethal combination of alcohol, pain killers, and EZ
Cheese – leaped on stage with a partially broken woodcutters axe. The crowd began screaming for more – since
this was not beyond the band to include this as one of their stunts. 2:40 A.M., Gerald
Peterson – as we will call this person – announces to the crowd of some 50+
people that he was Almighty God and was going to “reign down the wrath of the
heavens onto this monstrosity that is 8Ball Chaos”. Gerald proceeded to hack off the playing hands of both the guitar
player and drummer before being tackled onto the barroom floor by three of
the midget backup singers. Upon being
knocked out with a 10 pound partially frozen turkey (you’d have to see what
they do with that thing), Gerald was tied up with microphone cable and
escorted into the back lot where he was repeatedly kicked and stabbed by the
8BALL fan club. 3:30 A.M., The band
returned to the stage to finish their set to the delight of the crowd. However, the triumphant return was cut
short when the blood on the stage became so slippery that the drum set
slipped off the raised platform, crushing the lead guitar player under the
tremendous weight. Upon seeing this,
the drummer leapt from his seat only to slip as well, knocking himself into a
coma. As to the future of 8BALL CHAOS, it is
left to be scene. I do know one thing
though, I am now a fan and always
will be. If you are in Vegas,
definitely check out one of their shows. |