I Wonder What the King is Doing Tonight

ARTHUR
I know what my people are thinking tonight
As home through the shadows they wander
Everyone's smiling in secret delight
They stare at the castle and ponder
Whenever the wind blows this way
You can almost hear everyone say
"I wonder what the king is doing tonight
What merriment is the king pursuing tonight?
The candles at the court, they never burned as bright
I wonder what the king is up to tonight
How goes the final hour as he sees the bridal bower being regally and legally prepared?"
Well, I'll tell you what the king is doing tonight
He's scared, he's scared
You mean that a king who fought a dragon, whacked him in two and fixed his wagon
Goes to be wed in terror and distress?
Yes!
A warrior who's so calm in battle even his armor doesn't rattle faces a woman petrified with fright?
Right!
You mean that apalling clammering that sounds like a blacksmith hammering is merely the banging of his royal knees?
Please!
You wonder what the king is wishing tonight?
He's wishing he were in Scotland fishing tonight
What occupies his time while waiting for the bride?
He's searching high and low for someplace to hide
And, oh, the expectation, the sublime anticipation he must feel about the wedding night to come
Well, I'll tell you what the king is feeling tonight
He's numb, he shakes, he quails, he quakes
And that's what the king is doing tonight

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