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ELSE You dear, attractive, dewey-eyed idealist Today you have to learn to be a realist
MAX You may be bent on doing deeds of derring-do But up against a shark, what can a herring do?
ELSE Be wise, compromise
MAX Compromise and be wise
ELSE Let them think you're on their side; be noncommittal
CAPTAIN I will not bow my head to the men I despise
MAX You don't have to bow your head, just stoop a little
ELSE Why not learn to put your faith and your reliance On an obvious and simple fact of science
A crazy planet full of crazy people Is somersaulting all around the sky And every time it turns another somersault Another day goes by
And there's no way to stop it No, there's no way to stop it No, you can't stop it even if you try So I'm not going to worry No, I'm not going to worry Every time I see another day go by
MAX While somersaulting at a clockwise angle We make a cockeyed circle 'round the sun And when we circle back to where we started from Another year has run
MAX AND ELSE And there's no way to stop it No there's no way to stop it If the earth wants to roll around the sun You're a fool if you worry You're a fool if you worry Over anything but little Number One
CAPTAIN That's you
ELSE That's I
MAX And I
CAPTAIN And me That all-absorbing character
ELSE That fascinating creature
MAX That super-special feature
MAX AND ELSE Me
CAPTAIN So every star and every whirling planet And every constellation in the sky Revolves around the center of the universe An ugly thing called I
ALL THREE And there's no way to stop it No, there's no way to stop it And I know, though I cannot tell you why That as long as I'm living Just as long as I'm living There is nothing else as wonderful as
ELSE I
ALL I, I, I Nothing else as wonderful as I
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