Tune: My Favourite Things
From: Hardcase
Chorus: When the dog bites, on the hash nights Love bites on noses and organ stop nipples Small nut brown arseholes in transparent knickers |
Having a crap first thing in the morning A wank in the evening when I'm feeling randy Stockings, suspenders and freshly shaved pussies |
From: Steve Cooksley (1987)
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Hand jobs and blow jobs and eating clit-or-is Getting a hard on while I'm at confession When the whip cracks, when the lash bites,
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Black leather underwear, red velvet knickers. Plastic vibrators and brassieres by Platex. When the whip ... |
Tune :
Introduced by Crusty Nuts, thanks to Balikpapan hash.
Chorus:
We're the boys from JH3, the hashers of the night.
We're the drunken bastards, who'd rather fuck than fight.
We fuck the girls from Bali and Yogyakarta too,
We're the boys from JH3, who the fuck are you?
I met a girl in Singapore and fucked her on the floor.
If she was a virgin, she aint one anymore.
I met a girl in Fiji big as an elephant.
I had to use a ladder, just to lick her cunt.
I met a girl in Holland who had a lot of class,
But when she got her clothes off, she liked it up the ass.
I met a girl in Oscar's and thought that I might fuck her,
But when I turned the lights on, she looked like Jungle Fucker.
I met a girl in Scotland who had a daytime job.
After she came home at night she loved to suck my knob.
I met a whore in Mexico whose fucking days were over.
She took her act upon the stage with her pet dog Rover.
I met a girl in Texas who was a little coarse.
I caught her in the barnyard sucking on a horse.
I met a girl in Thailand whose chest was very flat,
But she would fuck you all night long for one hundred bhat.
I met a girl in Reno who had a Persian cat,
She put its food between her legs and let it lick her twat.
I met a clerk from Total who was a little shallow,
All she ever wanted, was to kneel and swallow.
I met a girl at Harvard who was a Mensa genius,
But all she was really good for was sucking on my penis.
I met a girl from New York, south of Niagara Falls,
She would suck my dick, while her poodle licked my balls.
I met 2 twins in Tulsa both dressed up in black lace,
One sat on my dick, and one sat on my face.
I met a girl in Christchurch whose cunt was tight and deep,
No Kiwi boys would fuck her, because she was not a sheep.
I met a girl in BATS who had a smelly gash,
She'd slap in on my pecker for a little bit of cash.
I met a girl in Tanamour who really liked to sing,
You should have heard her sing with my dick inside her ring.
Tune: My bonnie lies over the ocean
Introduced by Crusty Nuts, thanks to Balikpapan hash
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I passed a dead whore by the roadside, Chorus: I first met my dead whore at Oscar's, My dead whore looked into a gas tank, While nibbling my dead whore's big nipples, |
I thought it was milk I was sucking, My dead whore's vagina was swelling, Once upon thinking it all over, I lovingly French kissed my dead whore, I've thought of a way of preserving,
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Tune : Bohemian Rhapsody
Introduced by Colonel Bloodknock (nicked from?)
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Naan-aa, just killed a man Naan-aa, ooh-ooh, didn't mean to make you cry, Too late, my dinner's gone. Sends shivers up my spine, I see a little chicken tikka on the side, |
O Vindalooooooo, I've eaten balti, somebody help me. So you think you can chunder and think it's all right?
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Tune: My,my, my, Delilah
Source : written by Magic Dragon
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Chorus: As a youth I could play with the best of them Then I saw the ad for this new wonder drug called Viagra My balls grew and swelled up in size by several cubits |
So I took myself down to that bar that they call Oscar's Then I moved on to that Eden that they call the Sixth Floor My wife claimed that I was a virtual madman Now my wife she has up and gone and divorced me |