song

Jakarta Hash House Harriers

Songs last updated 5/1/99 Return to Home Page

JH3 is a singing hash and over the years various hares have contributed an assortment of songs to our songbook. The following are classics. Please copy them. Please sing them. But do note where you got them from: JH3. These songs, sadly without source acknowledgement, do appear on other web sites. ENJOY.

JAKARTA CLASSICS

Fine time to lose the trail	I've got the clap again
I've got the clap again	Irian Jaya
Leaver's song	Saturday night
Waves and waves

CIRCLE CONTRIBUTIONS DURING THE LAST YEAR

New Haw New Haw	Down Tanamour You Pratt
Hey Masturbater	Hardcase Where's Yer Troosers
Five Plus One	In Damn Jakarta
My Favourite Things	The Boys from JH3
Dead Whore (not for puritans or the squeamish)	Vindaloo Rhapsody
My, My, My, Viagra	next
next	next

OTHER SONGS Not recommended for Puritans

Anthony Rowley (included for the benefit of BB who almost remembered the words on run 1561)
Mary the little soldier (from Froggy) (without doubt, the worst song I've ever heard)

FINE TIME TO LOSE THE TRAIL

Tune: You picked a fine time to leave me Lucille
(Source: Fraser Wood)

Chorus:
     I picked a fine time to lose me the trail,
     A quarter past 6 as the light starts to fail.
     Got caught at a checkback, no money for a becak,
     No whores and probably no ale.
     I picked a fine time to lose me the trail,

Well I picked up the hash-sheet, got the directions,
Left the office at quarter past 4.
I told the driver, if we don't get there,
I'll slam your balls in the door.
Got stuck in the traffic on Gatot Subroto,
In a panic I changed in the car.
Had a bus load of people, they got a free peepshow,
And tell me, what was it all for?

I got to the Hash Site, 5 minutes early,
In time for 5 or 6 beers.
Heard the horn blowing, set off with Ross Singer,
My stupidness belies my years.

The pack had soon vanished, & at the next checkback,
On direction we couldn't agree.
With shortcutting smugness, I guessed at a lefty,
Saying you'll never find beer before me.

Ten minutes later, still seen no paper,
I arrived at the local mandi.
Several young maidens, all naked and dripping,
Offered their bodies to me.
When playtime was over, the sun was much lower,
And I desperately needed a beer.
Still no fucking paper, and no shouts of on-on,
I felt my first twinge of fear.

About an hour later, still in the jungle,
Felt about ready to die.
Off in the distance, I heard a rumble,
Thought I could see some light.
I crashed through the bushes, cobras and shiggy,
As fast as my poor feet could fly.
Came out of the jungle, couldn't believe it,
For there was K-25.

Return to menu

I'VE GOT THE CLAP AGAIN
Tune: Those were the days
(Source: Pete Owens)

Once upon a time I was a hasher,
Used to down an Anker beer or two.
Remember how I laughed away the hours,
And dreamed of all the whores that I would screw.
Every Monday evening I'd go hashing,
Sometimes I'd shortcut along the way.
But I'd always stay late at the on-on,
Where you would often hear a hasher say.

Chorus:
I've got the clap again,
I really should refrain,
K-25, the Club and Tanamour.
I've got the pills to use,
I must lay off the booze,
I've got the clap, oh yes I've got the clap.

One night to the Hash there came a beauty,
A thing that's quite unusual to do.
But something made me think this girl was different.
It must have been the tattoos on her boobs.
She wore hot pants and see-through T-shirt,
Sipped her beer with rosy choo-choo lips.
All the men began to get excited,
At the sight of that young lady's swollen tits.

5 o'clock Hash Master got his horn out,
Everybody else put theirs away
Then I got myself into position,
Where I could watch those lovely buttocks sway.
She short-cut and I short-cut behind her,
Wondering if tonight I'd be in luck.
Heard her calling "on-on" from the bushes,
And knew right then that we were going to fuck.

This girl showed me that she was no novice.
Her repertoire or tricks sure made me sweat.
I came, she came, then we came together.
And our juices flowed till we were soaking wet.
Made our way back finally to the circle,
Watching smiling faces turning green.
Could it be that they were only jealous,
Or could it be they knew she wasn't clean.

Drove her home that night, she lived in Ancol,
Arranged that this should be a regular thing.
But then one week later at the on-on,
I took a piss and felt that tell tale sting.
Now Dr.Budi has a Monday practice,
He's got a special clinic on the hash.
So that we can have our weekly check-ups
And find out just what caused that nasty rash.

Return to menu

IRIAN JAYA
Tune: Mull of Kintyre
(Source: Mike Hansen)

Chorus:
Irian Jaya, to be gobbled by natives
is what I desire,
As they practice on blowpipes in Irian Jaya.

Far have I travelled and much have I seen,
Had blow jobs from bancis & fucked things obscene
Been crippled by herpes and things far more dire,
But if you want a good blow job go to Irian Jaya.

I've been rogered in Rio and poked in Peru,
Been massaged in Manila, and then had a screw.
Been fucked in Llanelli by a Welsh male voice choir,
But for the height of perversion go to Irian Jaya.

Met a girl in the jungle with a bone through her nose,
Cunt like a man-trap and as strong I suppose.
Bush like a yardbroom that's made out of wire,
So be careful of pussy in Irian Jaya.

The skirt she was wearing was made out of grass,
It only just covered the cheeks of her arse.
I felt an erection get higher and higher,
As I followed that lady of Irian Jaya.

She put down her basket, grabbed hold of my tool,
pulled back the foreskin and started to drool.
Curled her lips round it, and I am no liar,
'cos they still have head-hunters in Irian Jaya.

The tip of my foreskin came off in her teeth,
I carry it around in a small leather sheath.
Her piss flaps ignited, set my bollocks on fire
So be careful of pussy in Irian Jaya.

Return to menu

LEAVER'S SONG
Tune: Annie's song
(Source: Colin "Colonel Bloodnock" Bloodworth)

Chorus:
You're leaving Jakarta, you silly old farter.
Your best days are over, you're ready to go.
You're wrinkles are showing, your beer belly's growing.
Your semen's stopped flowing, you're all clapped out now.

You abandoned your wife, in favour of night life.
You screwed till the morning, then came back for more.
Even your maid was willing, to sample your drilling'
But now your bit's broken, they've shown you the door.

We marvel to witness, your standard of fitness.
You suffered no ailments, not even a cough.
But from self-abuse, and living so loose,
Your extremity's withered, & your balls have dropped off.

You came full of purpose, but now you are surplus.
You were full of ideas, you were at the forefront.
Now your skills are outdated, your job's automated.
You're now on the scrap heap, you stupid old cunt.

Return to menu

SATURDAY NIGHT
Tune: Chattanooga Choo Choo
(Source: Brent Meekan)

Saturday night, I took a taxi to the K-bar
Around half past nine, looking for a good time
Found me a girl, angel of my wildest dreams
Ten thousand rupes for the night
Thought I was doing all right.

Chorus:
      Can't you her titties swinging down by her knees,
      Stretch marks on her belly like a map of Fiji.
      Half a Mini Minor could go up her vagina,
      Holy Christ, what did I bring home with me.

We had a chat, 6 beers, a coke and seven-up
She put her hand on my knee, I had to go for a pee
After a while, I started feeling rather horny
It was time to go home, to give the doggy a bone.

Back at my place, she turned the light off in the bedroom
Took hold of my hand, I had an almighty stand
When suddenly boys, I started feeling rather sakit
The 16 beers I had drunk, I chundered into her cunt.

Early next morn, sunlight streaming in the window
I rolled over in bed, and very nearly dropped dead
Her pox ridden face, sunlight shining on the craters
Her green pubic hairs, were pleated neatly in pairs

So listen now boys, don't touch the ladies at the K-bar
To ease the pressure in your gland
you're better off with your hand.

Return to menu

WAVES AND WAVES

Tune: Clouds
(Source: Brian "The Bard" Davies)

Waves and waves of golden hair
Her lips so red, her skin so fair
Her breasts they were a perfect pair
They took my breath away
I courted her from week to week
I held her hand, I kissed her cheek
No other favours did I seek
Or try to have my way.

Chorus: I've humped with her from both sides now
In and out, up and down
In all experience I declare
I've never seen a tattoo there

She sat herself upon my knee
And turning round she said to me
"I've saved myself for you, you see
Until our wedding day"
"It's only twice I've been untrue
Jakarta Hash they did me screw
The Aussie navy laid me too
And had their ends away."

"I must admit I've played some tricks
What's one destroyer full of pricks"
Jakarta hashmen in her knicks
Would surely lose their way.
But like a cad, my chance did seize
"I've never been between your knees"

And my pure angel, just to please
Upon her back did lay.

Waves and waves of pubic hair
The cooties crawling everywhere
The flavoured douches sprayed in there
It's strawberry today.
And if you got inside her pants
Cave paintings in the south of France
The only way that I could chance
Describing what I see.

Orangutans hang from her clit
A serpent's head peers from the slit
A dragon rampant on each tit
Each face a different way.
To drop your head and taste the dew
Is like feeding time at London zoo
I took some snake bite serum too
I'm not ashamed to say.

Now hordes and hordes of curious guys
Pay for the pleasure & surprise
Of gazing between my girlfriends thighs
It's made me rich today.
So pay me now if you've a need
No clap, no VD guaranteed
Maybe some rabies I'll concede
Just form a queue, ... this way.

Return to menu

Click below to go to the New web site:

New Home Page