March 4th
It's a grey and windy day today. It looked almost like a downpour was imminent, but this being Arizona wouldn't have it that way. This morning I struggled to hard to get the chat program working so I could chat with Faith. We eventually gave up, resorting to mIRC, a simpler, more reliable program. For those of you who use the computer only as a typewriter with a spellchecker, mIRC is a program that enables people to chat with one another over the internet.
I spoke with my sister today, and she told me that Shaggy, our dog, was finally put to sleep. Shaggy has been with us for so many years, and I remember the first time I brought it home from the streets. I fed it some food, and it followed me, and refused to go on living the life of a stray dog. She was so lean then. Over the years she has gained a considerable amount of weight, and in her last days she was literally blind, had problems walking, and (we thought) was in pain. It seemed only logical to put her to sleep. When I heard the news, my heart skipped a beat, and I questioned my initial stand. I miss my dog, even though she wasn't much fun to play with, having come from the streets and still having the ghetto mentality. She was named "Shaggy" by my younger sister Louelle, who called her such simply because my auntie had a dog named Shaggy. Shaggy is by no means shaggy. She's very short-haired, and it's a total contradiction. I was told that she looked sad when she was brought to the vet to be put to sleep. Did I make a wrong choice? Was I too unfeeling then? I guess we'll never know. Min (the older of my two younger sisters), tried to console me with the phrase "all dogs go to heaven". I hope so. It almost amazes me how much of a child I am when you scrape under the surface. I'm here, away from home, highly independent, and feeling for my dog. I don't want to be unfeeling, or numb. I choose to feel love, and pain, and other people's happiness and sadness. Shaggy, I should have looked into your eyes and asked you. Now I can only hope I made the right choice.
The A level results were released today, and the future of our nation's youth were drastically pigeonholed in one brief moment. For those not familiar with the British system of education, the A levels are equivalent to the finals of two years attendance at a Junior College, which enables you entry to a university. You are judged by your grades...'A','B','C'.....it seemed like these letters dictate our future, what we can become, what we cannot, and what people think of us. It's sad that some parents value the grades more than the children themselves. While it can be said the parent wants the best for the children, the grade does not make the child, though in our society is sadly limits the child's potential. So far, I've yet to have a friend who is truly happy with their results. A dark cloud seem to have loomed over their once sunny faces, and smiles obliterated into worried, wrinkled visages. My friends, treasure not the things of the earth, for they will all fade away. The triumph of good grades get so quickly replaced by the need for acquisition of good grades for a more advanced examination. It never does end. But God, who stands by all of us, has the whole world in His hands, and as He values the sparrow, He values us. Oh how much more He values us. It may seem easy for me to say all this, not being in the same situation. I say this as a friend, a brother, and also in the hope that if one day you see me sitting by the roadside in despair, you will say the same thing to encourage me.
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