SPACE: THE FINAL FRONTIER. THESE ARE THE VOYAGES OF THE WWF TITANPRIZE. IT'S MISSION: TO EXPLORE AND ENTERTAIN NEW SOCIETIES AND NEW CIVILIZATIONS.  TO BOLDLY GO WHERE NO WRESTLER HAS GONE BEFORE!

TITANPRIZE CREW:

Captain Vince McMahon
Chief Engineer, Commander Stephanie McMahon
Chief of Chiefs, Commander Linda McMahon
Chief of Security, Commander Kane
Chief Medical Officer, Dr. Taker
Diagnostics Officer, Lieutenant Commander Jericho
Tactical Officer, Lieutenant Commander Austin
Transporter Chief, Lieutenant Commander Debra McMichael
Communications Officer, Lieutenant Commander Rock
Counselor Al Snow (assisted by H.E.A.D.)
Morale Officer, Commissioner Mick Foley
... And many more!

WWF TITANPRIZE - COUNSELOR AL SNOW'S QUARTERS

    "Al's personal log, Stardate 050120.01. I just had a weird dream. It involved Foley actually being nice to me. Strange. Very strange. Oh well. It's another happy day on board the WWF Titanprize! My first patient is..." Counselor Snow paused and looked at his pad, "Nytron Torrie Wilson. Apparently she was disturbed by Captain McMahon's attempt to make a pass at her ... " He paused, "It's odd that I only have ONE patient, considering we're lost in space and all," Al then looked at the time, "Well, the appointment isn't until 1400h. Looks like I'm visiting the Smackdown for a bit. End Log."

    With that, Al headed out.

THE SMACKDOWN

    Al walked into the Smackdown and looked around, confused. The popular bar was decorated as if for a party. Three buffet tables were being set up, a stage was being rigged, and it seemed Terri was overlooking it all from her position behind the bar.

    "Did I miss the party invitation?" Al asked as he came up to the bar, H.E.A.D. in hand.

    Terri looked at him, surprised, "You didn't forget, did you?!" she asked.

    "Forget what?"

    Terri rolled her eyes, "How could you possibly forget about the wedding!"

    "Wedding? WHAT wedding?!" Al asked, then looked at H.E.A.D. "You didn't tell me about a wedding! Although after the last one, I can't blame you..." The last wedding onboard the Titanprize had ended in disaster, thanks to Lita's temper, and some misinformation. Luckily that had all been cleared up! Were Jeff and Lita trying again?!

    "Oh for heaven sake! How can you NOT remember who's getting married!" Terri then looked across the Smackdown, "No no! That doesn't go there!" she called out. She looked back at Al, "Excuse me," she said, and headed to the other side of the Smackdown.

    Al turned to see what had grabbed Terri's attention, and noticed Nurse Saturn setting up a floral arrangement at one of the tables.

    Al did a double take.

    Saturn was setting up a floral arrangement?

    Nurse Saturn called out to him, "Hey, Al! Don't these flowers look nice here?! Tell Terri they look nice right here! They help save the ozone you know...."

    Al smiled weakly, "Uh... yeah... they're great..."

    Saturn looked back at Terri, beaming proudly, "See! I told ya!"

    Al sighed and looked at H.E.A.D. "Since when does Saturn like flowers?" H.E.A.D. was at a loss. Al shrugged his shoulders, and left the Smackdown.

TITANPRIZE CORRIDORS

    Al walked along the corridors, muttering to H.E.A.D. and suddenly ran smack into.... Lt. Commander Austin. Al took a step back, and gasped, "OH! Steve... I'm sorry! I'm really sorry... uh.... I ... um..."

    "Don't worry. It was my fault. I was in a rush. Sorry Al," Austin replied. He smiled and pat the counselor on the shoulder. Al winced, waiting for the inevitable attack... but nothing happened. Austin continued to walk down the corridor.

    Al watched Austin walk away, then turned to H.E.A.D. "What is going on here?" a pause, "What do you mean you don't know! You HAVE to know! You're supposed to know everything!" another pause, "Don't take that tone of voice with me! I'm just as confused as you are!" He sighed, "Perhaps I'll go talk to Mick..."

ELSEWHERE

    "He is an interesting subject. How much can we learn from studying him?"

    "I am not sure. From the information we gathered, he is the one that assists the others when they have emotional and psychological problems. We have come to the conclusion that he is the most stable of all on board the vessel..."

    "Perhaps. Though we find it odd that he is speaking to an inanimate object,"

    "Surely that is normal among his people. Now, we must introduce him to the other crewmembers..."

MORALE COMMISSIONER FOLEY'S QUARTERS

    The chimes on Foley's door rang. "Come in..." he called.

    Al entered almost hesitantly, "Hey Mick! What's up?!"

    Foley looked at him, and smiled, "Not much, Al! Good to see ya!"

    Al blinked, "Good to see me?! Since when!"

    "It's always good to see my best friend!" Foley said.

    Snow raised an eyebrow, "Yeah... right..." he spoke to H.E.A.D. "He's BSing, isn't he?" There was a pause as he listened to H.E.A.D. Al looked up at Foley, eyes wide... "You're serious! You actually consider me your best friend!!" he couldn't quite believe it. He then furrowed his brow, "Wait a sec... that's not right! Am I still dreaming? That would explain the whole thing in the Smackdown and with Austin..." another pause as he conferred with H.E.A.D. "I'm NOT dreaming? How do you know?!"

    "OH! How does the Smackdown look, by the way? Haven't seen it myself. Is there lots of pink for Steph to bask in?"

    "Steph? Commander Stephanie McMahon, you mean?" Al asked.

    "Of COURSE Commander Stephanie McMahon. Soon to be Stephanie McMahon-Angle, though..."

    "WHAT?!" Al sputtered, "She's marrying KURT?!"

    Foley looked at Al as if he lost his mind, "Well… yes. YOU were the one who helped her realize how she felt about him, Al!"

    "ME?!"

    Foley seemed concerned, "Are you feeling Ok, Al? You're acting like Steph and Kurt's relationship is a shock!"

    "But... it IS!" Al replied.

    "Oh come on! Angle and Steph were always arguing down in engineering! Steph went to ask you how to deal with it, and you helped her realize that she had actually fallen for him!" Foley then smiled, "OH! I see... you're playing a joke on me, right? Hey, I may have taken one too many chairshots, but I can still remember the hottest couple onboard the Titanprize!"

    Al was stunned silent... then quickly collected himself. He had to ask, "Um... is Lt. Commander Jericho.... dead?"

    "I don't think robots can die, Al. As far as I know, he's in Engineering," Foley then smiled, "Probably trying to program himself a personality... god knows he needs one!"

    Al furrowed his brow, "JERICHO needs a personality?!"

    "Well… yeah. Don’t tell me you haven't noticed everyone’s favourite little WrestleFleet officer? He’s so polite and respectful, it's enough to make you want to slap him just to see if he reacts,"

    "But... Jericho's problems with Shane---"

    "Problems with Shane?" Foley asked, "Where did you hear that? He's Shane's perfect officer! Jericho is so damn obedient all the time it almost makes me sick--"

    "OBEDIENT?" Al interrupted, "Since WHEN? Jericho is a sarcastic, smug, arrogant officer... and Stephanie---"

    Al was interrupted by the chimes on Foley's door, "Come in!" Foley called.

    Commander Stephanie McMahon entered, and smiled when she saw Counselor Snow, "Hey, Al! How are you?" she went up to him and hugged him.

    Snow was taken aback. Was she actually being friendly to him? He studied her carefully. She was looking respectable for once! Her hair was straight and shiny, and her simple t-shirt and blue jeans were a stark contrast to the usual skimpy tops and leather pants she preferred. "Uh… Commander??"

    "You know you can call me Steph, Al!" she replied, "Especially after you helped me realize how much I love Kurt! I owe you for that! I'm the happiest woman in the world..." she giggled like school girl.

    "But…" Al just shook his head. It was useless. Apparently, everyone had lost their mind aboard the ship.

    "Anyway," Stephanie continued, "I just came here to tell Mick that I reserved a seat for him at the head table for my wedding reception. And since you’re here, I might as well tell you I have a special seat for you too, Al,"

    Al smiled, "You reserved a seat for me at the head table?!" he sniffled, "Wow... I'm touched, Steph.... I...." he paused, "Wait a minute! What about Lt. Commander Jericho?"

    Stephanie furrowed her brow, "What about It?"

    "IT?" Al looked at her. Since when did Stephanie call Jericho an ‘it’? "Uh... Where is HE going to be sitting at your reception?"

    Stephanie shrugged indifferently, "I don’t know. I like the Y2J Unit and all, but it’s kind of weird having a computer at a reception…"

    "But, after working with him in Engineering--" Al asked.

    "Just because we work together doesn’t mean It's important to me," Stephanie replied, "Not like you and Mick are. I mean, It's a cool robot ..." then she smiled, "but you have to admit, It's got less personality then the ship's computer," Stephanie sighed, "Though since It's coming to the ceremony, I guess I should find a place for It at the reception. Maybe in the back..."

    "If you don’t find a place for him, aren’t you worried you’ll hurt his feelings?" Al asked.

    Stephanie laughed, "Feelings? You're hilarious, Al!"

    "Ummm… he has an emotion chip," Al tried to explain.

    "Emotion chip?" Stephanie looked at Foley, as if he might know what that was. Foley simply shrugged. She turned back to Al, "The Y2J Unit never had an emotion chip. I don't think such a thing even exists… though it would be a great work of Engineering if it did…"

    "But..." Al stopped. Something was wrong here. First, Foley and Austin were being nice to him. Secondly, Stephanie was marrying an olympic dork and seemed to care less about Lt. Commander Jericho, and third, well... Foley and Austin were being nice to him.

    "Excuse me, Steph... Mick. I'm not feeling well. I think... I have to go for a walk..."
With that, Counselor Snow left the room.

ELSEWHERE

    "He seems to be acting adversely to the situation he has been put in. He seems confused."

    "Are you sure we have programmed the crewmembers with the correct personalities?"

    "But of course. We programmed our characters according to various personal logs. Are you questioning our research?"

    "Much is in question regarding scientific study..."

THE SMACKDOWN - that evening

    "We have a special surprise for you tonight, ladies and gents! Straight from Hollywood, joining us live on the WWF Titanprize – the ones... the only... E and C!!" Terri announced as she stood on the stage smiling. Everyone cheered loudly and Terri gracefully stepped off the stage, and made way for two blonde Kanatians.

    Al watched as Edge and Christian took the stage at Stephanie and Kurt's pre-wedding party. The Cocky Kanatians were wearing shiny trenchcoats, and fancy sunglasses. The crowd went wild.

    "Christian and I are going to perform a totally cool song for you great people aboard the WWF Titanicprize..."

    "Titanicprize?! They don't even know the name of the ship?!" Al asked Mick, who was sitting beside him.

    "Well, it's been a while. Can't blame them. Besides, they're great!" Foley replied.

    "YOU are complimenting them?" Al asked, "And what do you mean it been a while? They're WrestleFleet officers!" Al replied, and took a large sip of his synthehol.

    Foley laughed, "You've got to be kidding me, Al! These two are rolling in the big bucks as a boy band. You know they left WrestleFleet last year! They've been touring this sector for two weeks, so we asked them to come aboard the Titanprize to perform!"

    Al did a spit-take, spewing his drink all over the table, "They're MUSIC STARS?" he looked at H.E.A.D. "You're right! This must be some sort of joke... and since when are we NOT lost in space?" H.E.A.D. had no answer.

    Of course, the joke seemed to be on Counselor Snow as Edge and Christian broke into a musical number, Christian providing the instrumental accompianment, Edge providing the vocals.

    What was even more disturbing was that the crew of the Titanicprize seemed to eat it up.

    "Good lord..." Al groaned, and put a hand to his forehead, then nodded to H.E.A.D. "I know. It's horrible. Absolutely horrible..." He clenched his teeth, and forced himself to bare it for the rest of the night. "How ELSE am I going to find out what is going on..." Al asked himself. He paused for a moment, then smiled, "That is, unless a certain android officer can give me some information..."

ENGINEERING - the next day

    "Lt. Commander Jericho, I need your assistance!" Counselor Snow said as he came up to the android WrestleFleet officer.

    Jericho turned to Al, "Yes, sir?"

    "Where am I?" Al asked.

    "You are currently on board the WWF Titanprize, deck 5, section 4. Engineering," Lt. Commander Jericho replied, his voice monotone.

    Al looked at him, brow furrowed, "Damn. They weren't kidding when they said you had no personality..." he shook his head, "Listen, there's no way I'm on-board the Titanprize! No way in hell! I'm in some bizarro WrestleFleet world or something!" he held H.E.A.D. up, "See... even they agree! Do a scan on me or something..."

    "Very well, Counselor..." Lt. Commander Jericho quickly ran his tricorder over Counselor Snow and studied the results. He seemed confused for a moment. He then ran the tricorder over himself, "This is odd..." he said.

    "What? What's odd?"

    "The Tricorder is giving me your biological readouts, yet when I run it over myself, it gives me nothing. Although I am an android, I do believe the tricorder should be displaying something about my physical makeup. Unless it is malfunctioning..." Jericho replied.

    "What's it saying about you?" Al asked.

    "It says I am merely energy," Jericho replied. "My apologies, sir. I must continue my work. I shall contact you when I have a working tricorder," he then saluted, politely dismissing Counselor Snow.

    "Chris..." Al would not be dismissed so easily, "What is going on with you and Commander Stephanie McMahon?"

    Jericho didn't understand the question, "Pardon, sir?"

    "I KNOW it was a stupid question!" Counselor Snow yelled at his constant companion. He closed his eyes. H.E.A.D. was giving him a headache, "Just SHUT UP, ok?! You always make me feel dumb! If it weren’t for ME, you’d be---"

    "Counselor Snow?" Jericho interrupted, "Is your H.E.A.D. malfunctioning?"

    "No… they’re just yelling at me! I HATE it when they yell at me!" Al replied. He looked at H.E.A.D. "If you’re so smart, explain what the hell is going on here!!" he shouted. "Of course you don’t know!" he looked at Lt. Commander Jericho, "Excuse me… I … suddenly need to lie down..." with that, Al headed out of Engineering.

ELSEWHERE

     "Were we given the wrong subject for our experiment?"

     "We do not know. From the information we gathered, he is the ship’s counselor. He takes care of the crew’s mental well-being. It is confusing that he seems to be the one least stable…"

     "This is quite confusing. Perhaps we should have taken more care with our research. We are learning nothing from him. In fact, he seems to be falling apart…"

     "How are the other subjects doing?"

     "We were given the counselor as OUR subject. We should not concern ourselves with the others."

     "But… it seems our subject is the one who most difficult to deal with,"

     "Or perhaps your programming of the holographic personalities was incorrect!"

     "I am a professional! I know what I am doing!"

     "You obviously do not. Did you fully read the logs you were given? I do not like the results your group is providing me with…"

     "Sir! Forgive us. We are having problems with our current subject…"

     "You mis-programmed the holograms,"

     "HE did, sir. Not US!"

     "I do not have time for excuses. You are to correct this situation immediately!"

     "Correct it? As scientists, we cannot tamper with the experiment,"

     "I do not care what you can and cannot do. You are to follow orders. We have already had problems with the android and the dark doctor!"

     "What do you mean, sir…?"

     "It seems they were not as easily manipulated as the rest of the crew, and broke free of the experiment. We are currently attempting to correct the situation. I suggest you correct YOUR situation before YOUR subject breaks free as well…"

     "Understood, sir…"

THE SMACKDOWN – the next night

     Al watched from the back row as Ensign Angle and Commander Stephanie headed down the aisle together, "Stephanie and Ensign Angle… can you believe it?" he asked H.E.A.D. quietly, "This make no sense…" a pause, "What do you mean ‘who am I to talk about making sense’? I ALWAYS make sense!" another pause, "Stop laughing at me!"

     "Man… I never thought I’d eeeeeeeeeeeeever see THIS…" a voice whispered beside Counselor Snow. Al turned to see the Y2J Unit sitting beside him.

    "Sorry… did you say something?" Al asked.

     "You still haven’t figured out what’s going on?" Jericho asked, then began to stand up, "Come on, Al. You and me gotta talk…"

     Al grabbed Jericho’s arm, "We can’t just leave! We’re in the middle of a wedding…! Did you get the tricorder working all right?"

     "Tricorder?" Jericho asked, then shook his head and sat back down, "Al... it’s ME!"

     "I don’t understand…" Al suddenly grabbed his head, wincing, "Stop calling me names!" he snapped at H.E.A.D. "I am NOT slow on the uptake! If you’re so bright, why haven’t YOU figured out what’s going on!?"

     "Al… can you have a mental breakdown AFTER we get out of here?" Jericho asked.

     Al looked at the Y2J Unit, "You’re not supposed to have a personality!" he said, "I talked to you in Engineering!!"

     "Ok, Al… let me spell this out for you… I am ME!"

     "Shhh… you can’t talk now. This is a wedding. We have to be quiet…" Al said quickly, and turned his attention to the front of the Smackdown as Stephanie and Angle took their vows.

     "I don’t know if I can sit here and watch Stephanie marry… THAT…" Jericho said, "It’s just too bizarre…"

     Al kept his attention at the front of the Smackdown as he spoke, "Because it bothers you?"

     Jericho furrowed his brow, "Why would it bother me? All I'm saying is that this whole thing goes beyond the realm of realism…"

     Al turned to Jericho. The Y2J Unit truly didn't seem to care who Stephanie was marrying... or the fact she was marrying period. "What’s going on here?"

     Jericho stood up again, "Let’s go for a walk, Al. I'll explain everything to you..." The two ignored the stares as they walked out of the wedding.

TITANPRIZE CORRIDORS

     "This was all an experiment?" Al asked as he and Lt. Commander Jericho walked down the empty halls.

     "So it seems. A few days ago, we entered a dark cloud," Jericho explained. "From what I could gather, the entire crew was knocked out by an energy surge that enveloped the ship. We were transported away, and when we awoke, we were on a holodeck designed to emulate the WWF Titanprize, complete with pre-programmed crew. Everyone was sent to a different holodeck. Luckily, the scientists conducting these experiments weren’t very careful with  the personalities they programmed into the holocrew. Guess they thought we’d be too stupid to figure out something was wrong…"

     "Well… I was wondering why Foley was being NICE to me…" Al said. "But what tipped YOU off?"

     "I just KNEW," he said. "Now… we have to find out how to get out of here," he held out a tricorder, and ran it along the walls, "Got it!"  Jericho put his hand against the wall… then pushed it THROUGH the wall.

     "How did you do that?!" Al asked.

     "Everything is a hologram, Al," Jericho explained. He moved his hand again, and the walls of the Titanprize fell away to reveal a yellow and black hologrid. He went up to a panel on the wall and opened the holodeck door.

    "LOOK OUT!" Al shouted, and pushed the Y2J Unit down as phaser fire just skimmed past the door.

    Jericho pulled out his own phaser and fired blindly down the hall.  The shooting stopped, and Jericho carefully stuck his head out the holodeck door. It seemed to be all clear, "I guess they don't like their experiments escaping. Come on..." he said, and pulled Al out into the hallway.

    The two looked up and down the corridors. It looked like the Titanprize! "We're on our OWN ship?!" Al sputtered.

    "They got access to the Titanprize systems," Jericho explained.

     Al tapped his comm badge, "Counselor Snow to Captain McMahon..." There was no answer.

    "This way, Al," Jericho said, and headed to the turbolift, "Engineering, deck 5..." he ordered the computer. The turbolift quickly complied. When the doors finally opened on deck 5, Al and Jericho were taken aback, "What the HELL?!"

    Deck 5 had been all but destroyed. The floors and walls were blackened with phaser burns and even the back up lighting was fizzling out.

    Jericho ran towards Engineering. It had succumbed to the same fate. Wires were spewing out sparks, and the air smelled acrid. A thick fog of smoke hovered over the floor, and the warp engines barely pulsed with energy.

    "Is THIS how they got control of the ship?!" Al asked.

    "They got through our shields." Jericho said. He looked towards Counselor Snow, who seemed to be listening for something, "What?"

    "Shhh... H.E.A.D. senses something..." Al said, and slowly walked to a loose jefferies tube panel, "In here!" he began to remove the panel.

    "Wait!" Jericho shouted, and grabbed Al's shoulder, "Get behind me..." Counselor Snow did so. Jericho held up his phaser, and quickly kicked the panel away, then aimed the phaser into the jefferies tube.

    "Don't shoot!" a voice called out.

    Jericho crouched down and looked in the jefferies tube to see Ensign Edge and Ensign Christian cowering, "Get out of there!" he commanded.

    "Ok ok! No need to go totally postal on us. Can you... uh... put the phaser away, man?" Ensign Christian asked.

    Jericho rolled his eyes, and held the phaser at his side, "Let's go..." he said, and cleared the way for the cocky Kanatians to crawl out.

    "Ugh... my hair so totally smells like smoke," Edge whined as he stood up.

    "And I'm all covered in dirt...! This is SO not good for my complexion!" Christian added.

    "How did you two get in the jefferies tube?" Al asked.

    "Oh! Well... Christian was showing me this wicked cool facial cream he replicated..." Edge began, then realized Al and Jericho were getting impatient, "Anyway, we wandered into Engineering then must have totally blacked out or something... 'cuz when we woke up all these fashion DON'TS were hanging around, firing at some of the other Engineers. I saw the panel, and..." he shrugged.

    "And... you and Christian hid and let the others fend for themselves," Jericho finished for him.

    "Well… DUH. What else would we do? I mean... we didn't wanna mess up our good looks with phaser burns!" Ensign Christian said.

    Jericho shook his head, "Maybe I should mess up your good looks..."

    Edge's eyes went wide, "No way! You wouldn't!"

    "Oh how I would!" Jericho replied, then began to walk away, "Let's see if we can find some weapons in the cargo bay. There's no way ONE phaser is going to work against these... whatever the heck they are..." The four headed into the turbolift, "Cargo bay 3..." Jericho ordered.

    Something was nagging at Counselor Snow. He and Jericho had just been in Engineering... but there was no sign of Stephanie. On top of that---

    "Hey, Al... you're all spaced out. What's wrong?!" Christian asked.

    Al's thoughts were interrupted, "Huh? Wrong... oh..." he looked at H.E.A.D. then turned back to Christian, "Nothing..." he said, "Nothing's wrong. H.E.A.D. and I are just trying to make sense of all this..."

    "Well good luck, man. This is so TOTALLY lacking coolness!" Edge replied.

WWF TITANPRIZE - BRIDGE

    The bridge had remained untouched. Nothing was out of place, but it was empty, "Where IS everyone?" Al asked.

    "Still stuck on the holodecks. I'm going to do a ship-wide scan. Maybe we'll find some answers," Lt. Commander Jericho said, and went up to an ops station.

    "Wait..." Al began, "You mean, I'm the only one you freed from the holodeck simulations?"

    "Well... you were the first holodeck I came to, Al..." Jericho replied.

    "So... you were roaming the ship before you found me then..."

    "Well... yeah..."

    Al furrowed his brow, and conferred with H.E.A.D., "Good point. I'll ask him..." he said to the inanimate object. "Chris... if you were already roaming the Titanprize when you found me, how come you were as surprised as I was when the holodeck doors opened?"

    Jericho looked at Al, and blinked. After a moment, he spoke, "Well, I just...." Al aimed his phaser at the Y2J Unit. Jericho took a step back, "What are you doing, Al?"

    "And why did we go into Engineering first?" Al asked, "Shouldn't we have come HERE first?"

    "I wanted to see if the warp engines were working..." Jericho replied, "Besides... we found THESE two..." he indicated Edge and Christian, "Put the phaser down, Al..."

    "Speaking of Engineering, after seeing the carnage there..." Al smiled, and looked at H.E.A.D., "JR taught me that word," he said proudly, then turned back to Jericho, "Anyway, after seeing the carnage there, you didn't once ask about Stephanie. The Jericho I know WOULD have!"

    "Why would I care about Commander McMahon? Her and I don't even get along. We HATE each other..."

    "If Jericho saw Engineering in ruins, he would worry about Stephanie!" Al's grip on the phaser tightened, "You AREN'T Jericho!" Al said, "So who the hell are you?"

    Jericho raised his hands defensively, "Al,stop this.  Put the phaser away..."

    "Answer me, damnit!" Snow shouted, "Or I'll fire!"

    "Wait a sec, if you're not Jericho..." Edge began, then smiled, "I can do THIS and not be reprimanded for it!" Before Al could make good on his phaser threat, Edge speared Lt. Commander Jericho painfully, "That's for stealing my awesome hair style, you reekazoid!"

    "Oh kick-ass, dude! You just totally speared that holographic Jericho! You SO reek of awesomeness!" Ensign Christian said, and high-fived his brother.

    Al turned his phaser on Ensigns Edge and Christian, "And who are YOU?!"

    Edge and Christian raised their arms quickly, "Woah... Al! It's US!" Edge said.

    "How do I know it's the REAL you?!" Al asked.

    "Uh... well..." Edge scratched his head, "I dunno..."

    "Maybe we should ask who YOU are? I mean, you can be you, but not you... you know?" Christian replied, then smiled and nodded, proud of his point.

    Al rolled his eyes, and lowered his phaser, "You MUST be real. I don't think our observers could get your annoying personalities down that well..."

    Edge smiled, "All right!" He paused, "Hey, who are you calling annoying?!"

    "Never mind. What happened to you guys?" Al asked.

    "Uhh... well... exactly what Edge told you. We were hanging out in Engineering and came under attack by some badly dressed dudes..." Christian explained.

    "I guess that was the situation they put you guys in to see how you'd react," Al replied. He looked at the unconscious Lt. Commander Jericho, "He must have been partly telling the truth then. He said this was an experiment or something. That we were trapped on some holodeck,"

    "Think we're still there?" Christian asked quietly as he looked around the bridge suspiciously.

    "I don't wanna be trapped on some mirror-less holodeck by some weird scientist-types!" Edge fretted.

    "H.E.A.D. says you're a total lamer," Al muttered.

    "What?!" Edge replied, "I am SO not a lamer!"

    "H.E.A.D. says you are..."

    Edge glared at H.E.A.D. "I am NOT a lamer! You're lamer then me! Actually... you're lameitude to the max! In fact, you're a total lame-azoid!"

    Al looked at Edge, "You DO realize you're talking to H.E.A.D., right? I mean... you know they only talk to and understand ME, don't you?"

    "Fine. I don't care. They can talk to you all they want, because I'm not talking to THEM!" Edge pouted, "A lamer... hmpf!"

    "Yeah! No one calls my brother a lamer!" Christian piped up.

    Edge looked at his brother, "Chrisitian... you're TOTALLY defending me!" he sniffled, and put a hand to his chest, "I'm touched. Really touched, bro!"

    "I'll always defend you, Edge, your my brother, man!" Christian replied.

    "You're my brother too, man!" Edge replied.

    The two brothers looked at each other for a moment, then broke into smiles, "Alright! We just had a total bonding moment!" Christian replied, and high-fived his brother again.

    "Bonding moments RULE!"

    "Enough of this!" Al snapped, getting annoyed, "We have to get out of here..." Al looked at the holographic Jericho's unconscious form and stepped over it, "Well, at least it wasn't ME jobbing this time!" he muttered, then headed out into the holo-Titanprize corridors, Ensigns Edge and Christian following closely behind.

HOLOGRAPHIC TITANPRIZE CORRIDORS

    "What?" Al asked.

    "Huh?" Edge started, "We didn't say anything!"

    "Not you... THEM..." Al indicated H.E.A.D.  "They say there's a door nearby," Counselor Snow went up to a wall, and placed a hand against it. "Here?" he waited for an answer, then pushed his hand through. He tugged at something... and saw the walls of the Titanprize melting away to reveal a holodeck. In front of him was a door.

    "Woah," Christian whispered, "That's a totally cool trick, Al!"

    Al sighed and opened the door carefully. The three Wrestlefleet officers quickly walked through.

ELSEWHERE - CONTROL ROOM

    "How did you get out!"

    "What are you doing here?"

    "You're supposed to be in the holodeck!"

    "Where are the rest of my crew?" Counselor Snow asked the strange creatures that stood before him. He aimed his phaser at them, wondering if it even worked outside of the holodeck, "Where are they?! I demand you free us and return us to our ship!"

    "Yeah, or else... I'll hurt you!" Ensign Edge chimed in, and took an attack stance.

    "Yeah! I'll hurt you too, man!" Ensign Christian added.

    "The experiment is a failure. The escaped android and his doctor friend have already freed the rest of the crew..."

    Al lowered his phaser slightly, "Doctor friend? You mean Dr. Taker?"

    "Yes. The dark one..."

    Al frowned, "Jericho and Taker freed the rest of the crew but not US three?"

    "We are sure he was coming to you three next..."

    "Yes. He must have been. The ship has not left orbit yet..."

    "Yeah... suuuuure they were coming for me!" Al shook his head, "I don't get any respect, you know! Here I am, assigned to look after their mental well being, and they act like I'm some sort of lunatic who..." he paused, "I am NOT a lunatic!" he snapped at H.E.A.D., "Shut up! Why are you so mean to me!? You should be grateful you have a job! Without me, you're nothing but a piece of plastic!" another pause, "What do you mean without YOU I'm nothing but a crazy psycho? I am NOT crazy!  Am not!..........  NOT!  NOT I say! I am NOT CRAZY!" Al shouted.

    "Please! Return these three to their ship! IMMEDIATELY!"

    "Yes sir!"

    Al was still arguing with H.E.A.D. as he and Ensigns Edge and Christian were quickly beamed back aboard the Titanprize.

THE SMACKDOWN

    "How'd you escape, Taker?" Counselor Snow asked as Dr. Taker sat beside him at the bar, surveying the establishment with his cold grey eyes, no doubt wondering who would be next in his sickbay suffering a hangover.

    "I realized it was a hologram," Dr. Taker replied.

    "But how?" the Counselor wondered. Dr. Taker merely looked at Counsellor Snow. He didn't even need to ask, "Right... right. So.. uh.. tell me. What was YOUR situation like,"

    "I was married to a skank 'ho," Dr. Taker replied.

    Al furrowed his brow, "Which one? There are a few onboard here,"

    "Stephanie," Taker replied.

    Al's eyes went wide, "WHAT?!"

    "Then I commanded Kane to chokeslam her from the Engineering catwalk,"

    Counselor Snow gagged on his drink and all but dropped it on the bar, "Was this before or AFTER you realized you were on a holodeck?!"

    "Would it have mattered? Anyone married to her would do the same," Taker replied. Counselor Snow stared at the dark doctor, looking for signs that he was joking. Taker's face was unreadable, and Snow realized the doctor didn't joke.

    "Geeeez....!" Al gasped.

    "You gonna finish that?" Dr. Taker asked, indicating Counselor Snow's discarded drink, "'cuz if you ain't..." Before Al could reply, Taker helped himself to the drink, thoroughly finishing it for the counselor, "I will,"

    Al stared at Taker, mouth wide open, "Hey!"

    Without another word, the Doctor got off his stool and headed out.

    Al watched the dark doctor leave. He then looked around the bar, only to see Stephanie screeching at a snickering Ensign Hardy for being -- as Stephanie claimed --  an idiot.

    Well, at least Stephanie hadn’t REALLY married Ensign Angle.