[Angle and Big Show trace the screams to Titan Towers where they find Little Spike Dudley setting up a table]

Angle: [to Spike Dudley]  Excuse me, sir. I'm Kurt Angle, Olympic hero. I was wondering if I could ask you something. Have you seen a  man in black around here anywhere?

Spike: I... uh... don't know any man in black...

Angle: Maybe you can influence him a little, Show?

[Big Show nods, then smashes Spike Dudley through the table. Spike is unconscious]

Big Show:  Um... oops?

[Angle, not giving up, kneels on one knee, holding the picture of his medals high]

Angle: My beautiful medals, I've failed you for so long, but somewhere close by is a man who can help us.  Guide me to this man. Please?

[Angle stands, eyes closed, and is guided by the picture.  It leads him to a nearby door. The door opens. The two walk in, and see Jericho lying in the middle of a make-shift ring, not moving]

Big Show:  [nudging Jericho with his foot] Too late. He's a jobber

Angle:  Well, darn... who did HE piss off?

-------------------------

    "Cousin! Wait? What does Big Show mean 'he's a jobber?'. Jericho's gonna get a push soon, isn't he? I mean, he's only pretending to be a jobber 'cuz it'll lead to a big angle, right? Like a feud with the Rock or sumthin'?" Crash Holly asked, eyes wide with concern.

    Hardcore smacked Crash upside the head, "You want me to read this or not?"

    "Who does Helmsley job to?" Crash asked.

    "Whaddya mean?"

    "Who does Prince Helmsley job to? At the end! He's gotta job to SOMEONE! Is it Jericho? I mean, Jericho ruins his career, right?"

    "Nobody ruins his career. He continues to Wrestle!"

    "You mean he wins? Geeeeeeez, Cousin! What kinda crappy book is this?" Crash pouted.

    "What's wrong with you, boy? You're taking this story a little to seriously. I think we'd better stop now." Hardcore said.

    "No!  I'm fine. Just continue... please?"

    Hardcore rolls his eyes, "Whatever. Where were we? Ah yeah, the Titan Towers Doghouse..."

-------------------------

Angle: Olympic heroes never take defeat easily.  Did you know I won my medals after having a broken neck? Anyway, let's go. Bring the jobber. Got any money?

Big Show:  A bit

Angle: I just hope it's enough to buy a push, that's all.

[Angle and Big Show arrive with Jericho in front of a small wooden house wrapped in barbed-wire]

[Angle knocks on the door]

Voice: [from inside, irritated]  Go away...

[Angle knocks harder until a man with a baseball hat, suit, and cell phone opens a little hole cut in the door]

Heyman:  Whaddya want?

Angle:  Are you Paul "miracle" Heyman? You used to work for Prince Helmsley, didn't you?

Heyman: Helmsley fired me.  And thank you so much for bringing up such a painful subject.  While you're at it, why don't you take my company away and force me to file for bankruptcy! We're CLOSED! [Heyman closes the flap over the door hole, but Angle still knocks. He opens the flap again]  Beat it or I'll call Sabu!

Big Show:  I could kick Sabu's ass...

Heyman: [looks at Big Show] I'm sure you could.

Angle:  We need your help. It's very important.

Heyman:  Look, I refuse to help anyone any more.  Besides, why would you want someone Helmsley fired?  I might job whoever you wanted me to push.

Angle:  He's already a jobber!

Heyman:  He is, eh? Bring the poor shmuck in.  [They enter.  Heyman examines Jericho] I've seen worse. Ever hear of a guy named Raven? Great Wrestler until Vince McMahon got a hold of him--

Angle: [interrupting] Sir...

Heyman:  What?

Angle:  We're sort of in a rush.

Heyman:  Don't rush me, pal.  You rush a wrestling promoter, you get rotten pushes. You got money?

Angle:  Sixty-five.

Heyman:  Oy. I never pushed anyone for so little; except once and that was a very noble cause.

Angle: I'm an olympic hero! Surely no one is more noble then I am!

Heyman: Am I supposed to give a damn about you?

Angle: Well, yeah... I need the man in black to help avenge my stolen medals!

Heyman: There's gotta be a better reason then that. I'll ask him.

Angle: Um, sir? He's a jobber. He doesn't have a say in anything....

Heyman:  It just so happens that your friend here is only a jobber to the stars.  There's a big difference between total jobber and jobber to the stars.  Please open his mouth.  [He grabs a microphone] Now, jobber to the stars means he has push potential.  Total jobber...well, with total jobber, there's usually only one thing that you can do.

Angle:  What's that?

Heyman:  Laugh at him and pity his back luck [Heyman holds the mic in front of Jericho and yells at him]  Hey!  Hello in there! Lemme hear your mic skills!! You got a catchphrase worth repeating?

Jericho: [barely audible]  Shut.... the hell.... up....

Angle: [excited]  You hear that?! You couldn't ask for a more insulting catchphrase then that! And he can get the whole crowd chanting it with him too.

Heyman:  Good catchphrases are the greatest thing in the world; But
that's not a catchphrase. That's just an insult. No one---

[A man in a black resistol hat runs out]

Man in the black resistol hat: [interrupting]  Paul, you're a damned LIAR!

Heyman: Get back, Hillbilly!

Man in the black resistol hat:  I'm not a hillbilly, I'm your broadcast partner! But after what you said, I don't know if I want to be THAT any more! "Shut the hell up"  is an EXCELLENT catchphrase, Heyman! It would be over with the fans and---

Heyman:  Don't say another word, J.R....

[Angle looks on in disbelief]

Good Ol’ J.R.:  You're afraid.  [to Angle and Show] Ever since Helmsley fired him, he's been wallowing in self-pity!

Heyman:  Why'd you say that name?!  You promised me that you would never
say that name!

Good Ol’ J.R.:  What name? HELMSLEY?

Heyman:  [cringes]  Ahh!!

Good Ol’ J.R.:  Helmsley!

Heyman:  Ahh!!

[J.R. is chasing Heyman around the room, yelling 'Helmsley'.  Heyman is covering his ears]

Good Ol’ J.R.:  Helmsley!

Heyman:  Ahh!!

Good Ol’ J.R.:  Helmsley!

Heyman:  Ahh!!

Good Ol’ J.R.: Helmsley.... Helmsley! Helmsley! Helmsley!  Helmsley!

Heyman: Shut up! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! See, now you've got me all upset, JR!

Good Ol’ J.R.: Maybe you can go kiss Helmsley's ass and ask him to re-hire you!

Heyman: I would NEVER!

Good Ol' JR: Then PROVE it! Here you have a wrestler with potential sitting on the shelf and you don't even have the decency to say why you won't give him a push!

Heyman: [to Angle and Show] Nobody's hearing nothing, ok?!

Good Ol’ J.R.:  Helmsley!

Angle: [interrupting] This is Stephanie's true---uh... well, whatever he is to Stephanie. If you give him a push, he'll stop Helmsley's wedding!

Heyman:  Wait, wait.  I give this shmuck a push and Helmsley suffers?

Angle:  Oh it's true!

Heyman:  Now THERE'S a noble cause! I'll do it!

[Heyman, with help from Good Ol’ J.R., makes a pill for Jericho]

Angle:  That'll give him a push?

Good Ol’ J.R.:  Yeah. It'll tweak his wrestling skills and build his body up [a pause] although some people claim these special pills are illegal. [shakes his head] Never mind. We're coating it in chocolate, so no one will be able to tell what it is anyway. But, you have to wait fifteen minutes before potency.

Angle:  [leaving]  Thank you, sir. Your olympic hero is very grateful. We'll make you proud!

Heyman:  Okay, whatever. Just leave.

 [Angle and Big Show leave]

Good Ol’ J.R.: [calling after them] Bye bye, boys!

Heyman:  Have fun crashing the wedding!

Good Ol’ J.R.:  [to Heyman]  Think it will work?

Heyman:  [to J.R.] probably not...

Heyman and Good Ol’ J.R.:  [calling out to Angle and Show again]  Buh-bye!