Any fanfic author will tell you that a little insomnia is a dangerous thing … I guess I’d have to blame it on the coffee.

Kathryn stared into space.  Her eyes were dry; she felt too shocked to sum up the energy for tears.

She felt dead inside.

Gone.  The most important figure in her life was gone, fragile molecules scattered through space as the shuttle exploded before her horrified eyes.

Gone…

She felt a telltale ache deep in her chest and tears finally welled up in her eyes.  One choked sob led to another, and she was finally able to express her pain.

Gone.

Dead.

*Oh Chakotay*, she thought, *how could you leave me like this?*  But there was no point in assigning blame.  *She* had made the decision.  This was *her* fault.

So empty, so painful…

Out of habit, Kathryn picked up her coffeepot.  She pulled a face as she tasted the day-old dregs, but drank the cup anyway.

It would be her last for a long time.

Kathryn drew a shuddering breath.  What on earth had possessed her to send the last living coffee plant on a shuttle with Chakotay anyway?  She could have transported it … she could have said no to the Precept’s request to study the plant.  But he’d promised to return it undamaged, and Chakotay had been making a supply run …

With a twinge of annoyance, she realised that she would be expected to arrange a memorial service for Chakotay, too.

END

(I *said* that insomnia can be dangerous!)

Feedback and chocolate: elizabeth_barr@yahoo.com.au

Copyright © 2000 Elizabeth M. Barr

Star Trek ® is a registered trademark of Paramount Pictures registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office. Star Trek: Voyager is a trademark of Paramount Pictures.