The Casual Restaurant Critic
You might agree or disagree with my opinions, but that's life, isn't it? And no, I get no commissions or kickbacks from any of the places favourably reviewed - I do this entirely for my own amusement and your information.
This, by the way, is the one part of NotTheNews that often features POSITIVE critiques, so to those
of you whining about NotTheNews being too negative, get off my case.Los Flamboyanes
It's Yucatecan Food and it Ain't Pretty
April, 2001 I know I know, FOUR restaurant reviews in this issue. What the hell is going on? Where is all the biting social commentary that so enrage Merida's more introverted readers? How big is the Casual Restaurant Critic around the waist now? Does nothing else merit writing about anymore?
Apparently not.
The Critic is making up for all those lost issues when there was no review and Bill Lawsons' 13 loyal readers didn't know where in the city to eat!
Dying for a decent lunch after a hard days' work and those kids off at the beach, the Critic and Co. rushed over to Campay Sushi only to find it... closed (!)for holy Thursday and even holier Friday. So much for a decent lunch...
What to do now? One option was the newly renovated Wendy's, but that was about as appealing as driving out to Chelem to watch the table-top cat lick plates at La Costa Azul , but what the hell; when suddenly a thought passed through the Critic's brain as he drove past Los Flamboyanes restaurant on Prolongación Montejo (across from the curiously named Darling Car Wash): Queso Relleno!!! This must surely be a better choice than Wendy's!
So a quick U-turn and the Critic and Co. were strolling into Los Flamboyanes, which is actually a few steps down from Montejo, kind of like descending into someone's basement. The crushed empty beer can dropped at the front door and the aged-like-cheese waiters peering out at us should have been enough warning to send this Critic and his Co. scuttling off to that salad bar at Wendy's but nooooo, in they went.
If... the beer can and the aged waiters were not enough to warrant at least a second thought, the dim lighting, the one rickety air conditioner (it was 40 degrees outside) and the TV on the wall showing the latest drama of 'My Sister Ruined My Marriage' should have set off all kinds of alarm bells.
In a nutshell, don't go to this restaurant! While it advertises on it's outside wall that it's not expensive, the time wasted and the caloric intake for naught, do not justify any economic savings that might be had. If you go, don't say the Critic didn't warn you:
- The Coke is served very warm, so warm that it melts the ice and becomes a lukewarm coke-like water;
- The sopa de lima, a classic yucatecan soup, is loaded with and exuberance of soggy tortilla chips and the temperature of the soup is luke-warm, which, given the surroundings, make one wonder about the hygienic practices of the kitchen staff and the life expectancy of certain bacteria in such tepid liquid;
- Like longaniza, that chorizo-like sausage famous around here? Here you get the extra-fluorescent version; bright red and full of chunks that could be ground-up bone fragments or...;
- Relleno negro, "picante, como lo hacen en los pueblos" was indeed black, a little spicy, but I've had better versions of this very typical dish at the Hacienda Tepich, where it was prepared with rabbit;
- Pollo asado was quite simple, as it probably is everywhere else since it is just a piece of chicken rubbed with achiote and grilled.
- Tortillas were apparently hand-made, thick and didn't crumble when rolled; they were however a little old but this is probably due to the fact that the Critic and Co. were having lunch at 4:30 p.m. so it's understandable.
And so what ever happened to the Queso Relleno that prompted this whole culinary excursion in the first place? It was sold out...
Lunch for two including appetizers, main dishes and a refresco each (no alcohol) came to a whopping 150 pesos with a 10% tip.
Casual Critic Rating: 1 Beginning 1999, the Critic started rating the places he visited. Here's the scoop:
1
horrendous, don't bother, not worth the price, time and/or calories
2
3
4
5
service and appropriate concept (everything gels, from silverware to furniture to music to decoration etc.)
