HUMOUR in ELT

READ AND SEE WHY OUR JOB IS SO DIFFICULT ! ENGLISH I TAKE IT YOU ALREADY KNOW OF TOUGH AND BOUGH AND COUGH AND DOUGH ? OTHERS MAY STUMBLE, BUT NOT YOU ON HICCOUGH,THOROUGH,SLOUGH AND THROUGH ? WELL DONE ! AND NOW YOU WISH, PERHAPS TO LEARN OF LESS FAMILIAR TRAPS ? BEWARE OF HEARD, A DREADFUL WORD THAT LOOKS LIKE BEARD AND SOUNDS LIKE BIRD AND DEAD, IT IS SAID LIKE BED, NOT BEAD FOR GOODNESS SAKE,DON'T CALL IT DEED WATCH OUT FOR MEAT AND GREAT AND THREAT (THEY RHYME WITH SUITE AND STRAIGHT AND DEBT) A MOTH IS NOT A MOTH IN MOTHER NOR BOTH IN BOTHER, BROTH IN BROTHER AND HERE IS NOT A MATCH FOR THERE NOR DEAR AND FEAR FOR BEAR AND PEAR AND THEN THERE'S DOSE AND ROSE AND LOSE JUST LOOK THEM UP-AND GOOSE AND CHOOSE, AND CORK AND WORK AND CARD AND WARD AND FONT AND FRONT AND WORD AND SWORD AND DO AND GO,THEN THWART AND CART COME,COME,I HAVE HARDLY MADE A START. A DREADFUL LANGUAGE? WHY,MAN ALIVE I'D LEARNED TO TALK IT WHEN I WAS FIVE AND YET TO WRITE IT, THE MORE I TRIED I HADN'T LEARNED IT AT FIFTY-FIVE. ( DR.RICHARD N.KROGH ) Gift from 3A

Sent by Ahmet Karan

Spelling                          If GH stands for P as in Hiccough                          If OUGH stands for O as in Dough                          If PHTH stands for T as in Phthisis                          If EIGH stands for A as in Neighbour                          If TTE stands for T as in Gazette                          If EAU stands for O as in Plateau The right way to spell POTATO shoud be GHOUGHPHTHEIGHTTEEAU!                   Submitted by Derya Duman

Real Answers from Tests Given Sixth Graders There are 26 vitamins in all, but some of the letters are yet to be discovered. The cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things, like when people forget to put the top on. Water vapor gets together in a cloud. When it is big enough to be called a drop, it does. Mushrooms always grow in damp places, which is why they look like umbrellas. Momentum is something you give a person when they go away. Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun, but I have never been able to make out the numbers. When planets run around and around in circles, we say they are orbiting. When people do it, we say they are crazy. One of the main causes of dust is janitors. A census taker is a man who goes from house to house increasing the population. Submitted by Nalan Yaman

Do you know what is family?   Do you really understand what is behind the word  family? So long I never realize I dont know the real meaning  of family. Here is the answer :   FAMILY =  (F)ather  (A)nd  (M)other (I)  (L)ove (Y)ou Why does a man want to have a WIFE? Because : WIFE =  (W)ashing (I)roning (F)ood  (E)ntertainment Why does a woman want to have a HUSBAND? Because : HUSBAND =  (H)ousing (U)nderstanding (S)haring (B)uying (A)nd (N)ever (D)emanding Gift from 3A