2bhumour1

What Do Professors Mean When They Say...

By J. Timothy Petersik
from the Chronicle of Higher Education

You'll be using one of the leading textbooks in the field./ I used it as a graduate student

The gist of what the author is saying is what's most important./   I don't understand the details either.

   Various authorities agree that.../ My hunch is that...

The answer to your question is beyond the scope of this class. / I don't know.

You'll have to see me during my office hours for a thorough answer to your question. / I don't know.

   In answer to your question, you must recognize that there are several disparate points of view. / I really don't know.

Today we are going to discuss a most important topic./ Today we are going to discuss my dissertation.

   We can continue this discussion outside. /1. I'm tired of this - let's quit. 2. You're winning the argument - let's quit

   Today we'll let a member of the class lead the discussion. It will be a good educational experience. /I stayed out too late last night and didn't have time to prepare a lecture.

   Any questions? /I'm ready to let you go.

The test scores were generally good. /Some of you managed a C+.

   The test scores were a little below my expectations. / Where was the party last night?

Some of you could have done better./ Everyone flunked.

Before we begin the lecture for today, are there any questions about previous material? / Has anyone opened the book yet?

   According to my sources... / According to the guy who taught thisclass last year...

   It's been very rewarding to teach this class. / I hope they find someone else to teach it next year.

                                                          MAHMUT AL 2/B

The English Lesson
-------------------------------
We'll begin with box, and the plural is boxes;
But the plural of ox should be oxen, not oxes.
Then one fowl is goose, but two are called geese
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a whole lot of mice,
But the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men,
When couldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

The cow in the plural may be cows or kine,
But the plural of vow is vows, not vine.
And I speak of a foot, and you show me your feet,
But I give a boot - would a pair be called beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?
If the singular is this and plural is these,
Why shouldn't the plural of kiss be nicknamed kese?

Then one may be that, and three may be those,
Yet the plural of hat would never be hose;
We speak of a brother, and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.

The masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine she, shis, and shim!
So our English, I think you will all agree,
Is the trickiest language you ever did see.

I take it you already know
Of tough and bough and cough and dough?
Others may stumble, but not you
On hiccough, thorough, slough, and through?

Well done! And now you wish, perhaps
To learn of less familiar traps?
Beware of heard, a dreadful word
That looks like beard and sounds like bird.

And dead; it's said like bed, not bead;
For goodness sake, don't call it deed!
Watch out for meat and great and threat,
(they rhyme with suite and straight and debt)

A moth is not a moth in mother.
Nor both in bother, broth in brother.
And here is not a match for there.
And dear and fear for bear and pear.

And then there's dose and rose and lose --
Just look them up -- and goose and choose.
And cork and work and card and ward,
And font and front and word and sword.

And do and go, then thwart and cart.
Come, come, I've hardly made a start.

A dreadful language? Man alive,
I'd learned to speak it when I was five,

And yet to write it, the more I sigh,
I'll not learn how 'till the day I die.

Submitted by Zümrüt Özüsen