Sixty-eight Reasons Why Elvis is the Ultimate Sex God
by Kim Adelman
We all know who the ultimate sex goddess is: Marilyn Monroe. But the ultimate sex god? Elvis, of course. Is it because he, like Monroe, died before he lost his allure? That's certainly part of it. Look at Marlon Brando, another Fifties-era idol who could have been a contender but nowadays is nobody's idea of a hunka hunka burning love. Sure, there's James Dean, who remains eternally young and beautiful, and yet Dean is at best a runner up to the King's crown. Why Presley? Any female fan can give you more than a million reasons, but a girl's got to draw the line somewhere. So why is Elvis Presley the ultimate sex god? Let me count the ways...
68 The man even looks sexy disguised as a girl in the 1965 movie GIRL HAPPY.
67.
Sexy as a doctor? Several generations of women continue to sigh over Doctor
Elvis exhibiting his sensitive side in CHANGE OF HABIT.
66.
As a racecar driver? EP makes hearts race in SPINOUT, SPEEDWAY, and VIVA LAS
VEGAS.
65.
Even female bullfighters find Elvis irresistible in FUN IN ACAPULCO.
64.
Lizabeth Scott character's highly credible infatuation in LOVING YOU proves
even older women are attracted to the King of Rock and Roll.
63.
Appearing uncharacteristically scruffy as a bearded outlaw in CHARRO!, Elvis
still manages to steal hearts. Let's just say Elvis looks great dirty!
62.
What movie features a more romantic groom than Elvis crooning the "Hawaiian
Wedding Song" at the end of BLUE HAWAII?
61.
Who looks better in an army uniform? GI BLUES is worth renting just to gawk
at everyone's favorite soldier boy.
60.
While we're on the subject of Elvis's clothes, let's talk about the infamous
jumpsuits. Who can deny the appeal of those very distinctive outfits? As many
tribute artists have discovered, donning those fabulous stage costumes (with
or without cape) gives a man a special aura that he just doesn't have walking
around in everyday street clothes. Three decades later, the American Eagle
Aloha jumpsuit retains amazing power. But we can't play favorites. There are
so many great jumpsuits, including:
59.
Sun Dial.
58.
Peacock.
57.
Tiger.
56.
Tiffany.
55.
Burning Love.
54.
Indian Feather.
53.
Phoenix.
52.
Flame.
51.
Bear Claw.
50.
No one can talk about Elvis's stage clothes without mentioning his most famous
outfit of all: the gold lamé suit. How many men could look like the
epitome of masculinity while wearing gold lamé and rhinestones? Only
Elvis.
49. Rent the 1993 movie TRUE ROMANCE to catch Val Kilmer wandering around
in gold lamé as a ghostly Elvis character. Who's sexier -- Elvis or
Val?
48.
Rent the 1984 movie TOP SECRET, Val Kilmer's first attempt at playing an Elvis-like
character. Once again Val doesn't measure up.
47.
Another hunk who impersonated Elvis twice is Kurt Russell. How was Kurt in
the 2001 movie 3000 MILES TO GRACELAND? Not as good as the real thing.
46.
How about a much younger Kurt as Elvis in the 1979 TV bio-pic ELVIS? Probably
one of the best imitations, but still a pale imitation compared to the original.
45.
Others who dressed up like Elvis in 3000 MILES TO GRACELAND include the aging
Kevin Costner, who certainly doesn't have the hair to compete with Elvis.
44.
And Christian Slater? Not even young Christian strutting around in a jumpsuit
can measure up.
43.
What about Harvey Keitel in the 1998 movie FINDING GRACELAND? Those who want
to believe Elvis is still alive know that a sixtysomething Elvis would outrank
Keitel on the stud scale.
42.
Don Johnson played the King in a 1981 TV movie called ELVIS AND THE BEAUTY
QUEEN. Any beauty queen would declare the MIAMI VICE star not quite up to
par.
41.
Michael St. Gerard must be Priscilla's favorite EP substitute because he played
teenage Elvis in the TV series she produced. Sorry, St. Gerard, you do have
an Elvis look to you, but your earnest portrayal only reminded us how special
the real thing is.
40.
Can any actor capture the glory that is Elvis strutting through "Hound
Dog" on Milton Berle's TV show? Watching that performance nearly half
a decade later still makes girls swoon.
39.
How about Elvis in top hat and tails singing to a hound dog on Steve Allen's
TV show? Steve smugly thought he was neutering Elvis. Instead, Elvis comes
across as a guy who has the world by the tail.
38.
What about the famous "waist up" appearance on Ed Sullivan's TV
show? It's always better to see him in full strut, but even partial Presley
excites viewers.
37.
Even more censorship -- when Elvis played a concert in Florida, the police
filmed the show hoping to arrest him for lewd behavior. Elvis claimed he was
only allowed to move his little finger on stage. He demonstrates his pinky
performance in the '68 COMEBACK SPECIAL. Yep, he's sexy even moving only one
digit!
36.
Another headline grabbing sexy performance was his 1957 Pan Pacific concert,
where he suggestively rolled around on the stage with a statue of Nipper the
RCA dog. Newspaper articles reported that the LA police department told him
to "clean it up and tone it down." Don't you wish you had seen that
show?
35.
Luckily, many of his concerts were captured on film and preserved for us to
enjoy to this day. Do we still find 1968-era Elvis sexy? Check out the DVD
of his '68 COMEBACK SPECIAL and judge for yourself.
34.
What about 1970 Elvis? The documentary feature THAT'S THE WAY IT IS (recut
as a special edition and issued on DVD) will blow you away.
33.
1972's ELVIS ON TOUR will blind you with a parade of jumpsuits.
32.
1973's ELVIS: ALOHA FROM HAWAII still amazes.
31.
1977's ELVIS IN CONCERT is the true test. In this last, sad appearance, taped
shortly before his death, Elvis does not look his best. His estate wisely
has decided not to release this concert on DVD. Frankly, there were times
when Marilyn Monroe didn't look so hot either. Sometimes sex gods and goddesses
exhibit signs of frailty and vulnerability. Doesn't that make them even more
attractive?
30.
Speaking of frail men, check out Elvis's post-Army appearance on Frank Sinatra's
TV show. Everyone who thinks Frank Sinatra is the ultimate cool guy needs
to watch their duet. Elvis, standing tall with even taller hair, makes Old
Blue Eyes look like a runt. Sexier than Sinatra, that's for sure!
29.
Enough of the guys. Let's talk about Elvis and the women. A true sex god is
always accompanied by hot women. Let's review the women whose own sex appeal
added to Elvis's. First his co-stars. His first was Debra Paget in LOVE ME
TENDER. She knew she married the right brother in a film that was originally
called THE RENO BROTHERS.
28.
Actress Dolores Hart, who starred in two Elvis movies, apparently thought
if she couldn't have Elvis she might as well join a convent. So she left show
business to become a nun!
27.
Long before we dreamed of her as Jeannie, Barbara Eden dreamed of Elvis while
acting with him in FLAMING STAR.
26.
Another TV sex symbol, Donna Douglas of THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES, was deemed
worthy of portraying Elvis's lover in FRANKIE and JOHNNY.
25.
COACH's Shelley Fabares was thrice smitten with Elvis in GIRL HAPPY, CLAMBAKE
and SPINOUT.
24.
Bond girl Ursula Andress drooled over EP in FUN IN ACAPULCO.
23.
Sex kitten Ann-Margret thought Elvis was something to purr about in VIVA LAS
VEGAS (and in real life!).
22.
Miss America Mary Ann Mobley shimmied up to Presley in two pictures (GIRL
HAPPY and HARUM SCARUM).
21.
Frank's daughter, Nancy Sinatra, found her boots were made for walking straight
in to Elvis's arms in SPEEDWAY.
20.
Most notoriously, Mary Tyler Moore's character found being a nun wasn't enough
reason not to fall for Elvis in CHANGE OF HABIT.
19.
In real life, Elvis was involved with many beautiful women, including local
Memphis beauty Anita Wood, whose sophisticated yet wholesome persona helped
smooth the edges off Elvis's rough and tumble early image.
18.
In the 1970s, beauty queen Linda Thompson contributed shine and luster as
his constant companion.
17.
In his final year, beauty queen Ginger Alden shored up his crumbling façade
with her youth and glamour.
16.
But the woman who made him look best was the woman he married. Name a couple
who look more like a black- haired version of Ken and Barbie than Elvis and
Pricilla on their wedding day!
15.
The fact that Elvis first laid claim to Pricilla when she was fourteen adds
an undeniably scandalous sheen to his sex god persona. Really, Elvis! She
was only fourteen!
14.
If any one woman gets credit for why Elvis remains a sex god a quarter century
after his death, it has to be Priscilla, who saved the Elvis legacy when she
could have just as easily let it all slide. And because she is a woman who
understands Elvis's sexual appeal is just as important as his musical appeal,
she hasn't tried to bury that essential ingredient. Good job, Priscilla!
13. Let's not forget Lisa Marie, who has revealed herself to be a woman worthy of her genes. Her innate sexiness only adds to the Presley flame.
12. His daughter's perfectly fine but not outstanding musical output also
reminds us how truly special Elvis is as a recording artist. Elvis's best
songs solidify his reputation as a sex god. Let's start with the obvious:
"Hound Dog." Big Mama Thornton's version is dour. Elvis's is frisky.
Is it any wonder we don't hear her version much anymore? No singer past or
present can do a sexier version of Elvis's signature tunes, especially:
11.
"Love Me Tender"
10.
"All Shook Up"
9.
"Can't Help Falling in Love"
8.
"Heartbreak Hotel"
7.
"Don't Be Cruel"
6.
"Suspicious Minds"
5.
"Viva Las Vegas"
4.
"Burning Love"
3.
"Little Less Conversation" -- recent chart success proves Elvis
still has it!
2.
Only two reasons left why Elvis is the ultimate sex god. Have I mentioned
Elvis in black leather in the '68 COMEBACK SPECIAL? Nothing is hotter! Except
1. Elvis sneering and sweating in black leather, surrounded by adoring female fans, hair flopping everywhere as he swivels those hips and sings his heart out in a faux boxing ring. This performance is almost four decades old. Yet show it to any female age 2 to 102, and she'll melt. Put any current sex symbol, be it Justin Timberlake or Brad Pitt, against Elvis at his peak. No contest. I rest my case.