Real Interesting Thoughts and Bumper Sticker

 

>Subject: Real Interesting Thoughts and Bumper Sticker

>Real Interesting Thoughts and Bumper Sticker

>* "What are 'free' gifts? Ain't all gifts supposed to

>be free?"

>* "Why does your nose run, and your feet smell?"

>* "If orange is called orange, why ain't lime called

>green and lemon as yellow?"

>* "If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go

>with sushi?"

>* "Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition."

>* "LOVE: two vowels, two consonants, two fools."

>* "I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!"

>* "SAVE A TREE: Eat a beaver"

>* "I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain

>to be a vegetarian."

>* "If you don't like the news, go out and make some."

>* "When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case

>heaven is like the IRS."

>* "I may be fat, I can lose weight. But you're ugly,

>nothing changes that fact"

>* "Where there's a will, I want to be in it!"

>* "If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they

>made of meat?"

>* "I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute

>of it!"

>* "Learn from your parents mistakes - use birth

>control!"

>* "Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off

>NOW!"

>* "IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you have

>got. "

>* "LAWYER: A cat which settles a dispute between 2

>mice."

>* "First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring,

>then the suffe-ring.."

>* "We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get

>worse."

>* "He who laughs last thinks slowest"

>* "Always remember you're unique, just like everyone

>else."

>* "Consciousness: that annoying time between naps."

>* "Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing

>home."

>* "Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall

>off."

>* "Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself."

>* "Gun control means using two hands"

>* "The gene pool could use a little chlorine."

>* "Born Free. . . . .Taxed to Death"

>* "As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in

>public schools"

>* "The more people I meet, the more I like my dog."

>* "Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot."

>* "Conserve toilet paper, use both sides."

 

<<  Back to Jokes  >>