I latched onto Jamie’s arm and could not stop whispering, “Ohmygodohmygodohmygod.”  The first thing I noticed besides his lovely eyes was his pants.  Nice and orange, woohoo!  He’s shorter than I thought though.  He turned and saw Jamie, and smiled and said Hello.  Obviously, he knows her now!  The girl we talked to got to him first.  He asked “Who has the pen,” and I gave it to him.  He was smoking, and can I just tell you how good it smelled!!  I have never smelled anything like it before.  My coworker told me it might have been cloves.  But you know who came out?  His mom!!!  It was so incredibly cool to see his “mum” in person!  She’s so adorable.  Alan went to the preteen girls and took a group picture.  Then he came over to Jamie and I!  However, that chick decided to stick around, too, kinda ruining things.  He said to Jamie, “I saw your website.”  I’m so damn proud that she didn’t drop on the spot.  She was perfectly composed, easy, and comfortable the whole damn time.  Me, my mouth is slightly open and I’m just staring at him.  He said that someone forwarded her link to him and he recognized her.  Then she said, “Oh, have you seen Chris’ site.”  He turned to me.  Alan Cumming looked me right in the eyes.  He asked what it was called, and she told him.  It looked like it rang a bell though, as he repeated the name (except he called it Ho-mage, which made my day), and said he probably saw it, yes.  Of course, I’m thinking SHIT!  And, Alan Cumming just said the title of my site dedicated to him.  Dear god.  I’m surprised I didn’t drop!  And then, my geeky self had the ovaries to ask him in a totally casual, offbeat, I-don’t-expect-to-hear-“yes” way, “You don’t sign any guestbooks, do you,” although it was more of a statement.  I should have said “haven’t.”  DAMMIT!  He probably thought I meant, Please sign mine!  I HAD to know if that entry was an imposter, since it sounded SO real!  He laughed (!!), shook his head and said something like Oh no…no, don’t want to leave my address around.  I said I thought so.  He brought up his site and all.  Carmine beckoned to him, saying there was an old friend to see him.  Alan got excited when he saw who it was, hugged and kissed him, and introduced him to his “entourage.”  It was really cool to see Alan reminisce.  He told us to “hang on,” and helped his mother and the older people into a taxi (for the airport, we believe), kissed her goodbye, and waved them goodbye.  Then, the other people, including Carmine, went over to the car up the street.  Alan then came back to us.  A lot more was said, like about his indies and stuff.  I really do not remember much of what he did or was wearing at all, I was so focused on his face.  When there was a silence, I asked him tentatively, “Would you mind signing this?”  He smiled, said “Surely,” and I unrolled it slowly and shyly to him.  Oh come on now, I was handing him a gay magazine with his naked self illuminating the cover!!  He started smirking and glanced at me as I handed him the sharpie.  I said something like, “sorry it’s that picture” (I had my cute, awkward, embarrassed voice going on overdrive that day).  As he signed, he joked, “I’m just glad you didn’t give it to me when my mum was here!”  We all laughed and I said something like, “oh no, no, don’t worry.”  Then I said what I have been DYING to tell him ever since I bought that mag, my very first of his:  “It’s just that your article changed my life, and I wanted to thank you.”  He seemed a bit surprised and said something like, “Oh thank you!”  He didn’t seem scared, thank god.  I saw him staring at the buttons on my bag, hehe.  Then Jamie asked for a pic, and then I asked for one.  He beckoned with his arm out…well, actually, he wasn’t really sure what side I was going on.  I scooted to his left, and he put his arm around me.  In total and utter bliss, I put my arm around him, my hand on the small of his back.  I could barely open my mouth to smile, I was on such a natural high.  I know I look like I’m going to cry in the picture, and I probably was.  We said thank you, and then he started up the street to his car, saying goodbye, and “See you soon,” to Jamie, hehe.  Well, I know I’m a total geek, but he hadn’t even made it into his car before I started pacing around with oh-my-god arm motions and expressions and banging my head against the wall.  Jamie and I were totally silent until the car started down the street.  Then she asked, “Well?!,” and I just yelled, “He just restored my faith in humanity!!!”  They start laughing, and I start screaming.  Not little shrieks, SCREAMS!!!!  I was completely incoherent, screaming and babbling so all of 43rd St and beyond could hear me.  Thank god that doesn’t really matter in NY.  I reaaaally hope Alan had music on in the car so he couldn’t hear me.  Probably did though, the car wasn’t THAT far away.  It was so freeing though, let me tell you.  It was pure euphoria.  My dream finally came true, and was so much more than I expected. We left the frightened chick and went to the front of the theater to use up my last couple pictures.  We just shrieked and giggled and called people on my cell all the way from 42nd to 33rd.  My mom got me at the beginning of my screams on 43rd and thought I was being abducted!  Then she was in shock, hehe.  We realized we missed our 6:15 trains, putzed around a little, and ended up giving money to somebody.  Jamie left at 6:30, and I put on my cold bitch look (hard to do with my mood) and walked the 2 blocks to the station, and waited for the 7:09 train.  That was torture, let me tell you.  When I was in the big glass waiting room, I couldn’t help but let some tears fall.  Then an older man sitting a few rows away from me kept staring and saying, Ma’am?  Ma’am?  I immediately put the cold bitch look back on, although I couldn’t help but let some grins slip.  On the train, I scribbled the whole meeting over the 2 pages I printed of the train schedule, but not before crying first.  Never has a ride been so long!  Back in Trenton at 8:30, I trotted to the parking garage and finally found my car.  I got slightly turned around, but then made it on Route 1 towards Philly.  Then I got a bit turned around on the Boulevard (don’t ask me how), but still made it to my house by 9:30.  As soon as I walked in the door, I burst into tears and laughter as soon as I saw my expectant mom and grandmother.  After rehashing EVERYTHING, I took my grandmother back home to NJ, and then didn’t get home till 11:30.  Remember, I’m living on 3 hours of sleep, barely any food (though I’m still not hungry), walked nearly 80 blocks, and had a LOT of hour long drives.  Then I got online, emailed everybody, talked to Jack, and crashed at 2 am.  Woke up at 9:30, screamed to Dawn, dropped off film, went to class, picked up film.  Let me tell you, I started screaming in the parking lot of my conservative town at noon!!  I fell to the ground, stomping my feet, grabbing Dawn, just basically going insane.  I have shown EVERYONE the picture!  My work went crazy, and I had it behind the register all night.  I know it’s just one picture, but I could care less.  I have met and touched Alan Cumming. I have met Alan Cumming. My god.  And I’m so not religious. He is such an incredibly lovely man.  I cannot emphasize that enough.  I have even more respect for him now than I ever have.  I’m going back on the 14th, most likely.  Believe me, the excitement has not lessened.  It’s only just begun.                                                                           BACK                                                                         DFL                                                           RETURN TO STORIES                                       RETURN TO MY HOMAGE TO ALAN CUMMING