The Sweat Lodge - Part 1 - Chapters 1

Characters : OFM - Our Favourite Mountie -Constable Benton Fraser RCMP

TDL - The Dragon Lady - Inspector Margaret (Meg) Thatcher

OFDM - Our Favourite Dead Mountie - Benton Frasers 'ghost' Father

Constable Reinfeld Turnbull RCMP

Diefenbaker - The half wolf pet of Benton Fraser

Holly

Emily

Joe (Holly's husband)

Bill, Freddie and Magnus - Holly and Joe's 3 young boys.

Ray Vecchio - OFM's partner.

The Sweat Lodge (Part 1)

Episode One.

The new Sweat Lodge flatpack is situated in Holly’s attic. The fire is burning and Holly is waiting for OFM to get his kit off <Holly rubs hands together in glee>. Hope he doesn’t have one of those weird visions though!
Scene: Holly’s attic. Sweat Lodge is fully operational and Holly sits in her towel waiting. There is a gentle knock on the canvas door flap.
Holly: Enter
OFM peers in.
OFM: <coughs nervously> Oh, I thought this sweat lodge was unoccupied, I am so sorry <turns to leave>
Holly: <grabbing his towel and yanking him in> No my mistake. do join me. (pushes him to the floor>
OFM: <looking round> There*goes and finds*
isn’t a lot of room in here. Maybe I should just....un...leave right away.
Holly: <rather hastily> No stay here. It’s starting to warm up nicely, don’t you think?
OFM: Why yes. You are right. This reminds me of the time I had a sweat lodge in my apartment when Eric came to Chicago. Whilst I was in the lodge with him I had a most unnerving vision of birds and dancing. It all turned out to be very significant in solving a crime I was investigating with my friend, Ray Vecchio.
<His eyes start to glaze over>
Holly: <resisting the urge to wipe droplets of sweat which are starting to run down his neck, his chest> Do go on. Is it some sort of Inuit thing?
OFM: <eyes now closing> Yes, an Inuit thing. Like a dream time, you have a vision which will give you direction in your life.
Holly: <intrigued> Oh, will I have a vision too? <closes her eyes in anticipation>
OFM: Only if your heart is pure and you see things others don’t. <His voice is getting fainter>
Holly: <opening her eyes> Oh well, never mind. I’ll just watch you then. <She smiles>

Episode Two

Minutes later Holly is still admiring the sheen of perspiration coursing down the Mountie’s tanned chest. Benton’s eyes are still closed and he occasionally mutters a phrase in Tshim Tshim dialect. Holly’s reverie is interrupted by a tap on the canvas.
Holly: <jolting bolt upright and banging her head on the roof> Ack! Who on earth.......
Emily <peering around the doorway> Hello. <eyes light up as she sees Fraser still deep in concentration> Room for a small one in here? <she enters and pushes Holly over to the side>
Holly: Hey, watch it !
Emily: Shift, give me room.
Emily lays out a towel and delicately lowers herself onto it making sure she is as close as possible to the mountie.
Holly: <scowling> What are you doing here?
Emily: Well I thought that since I went to the expense of having the sweat lodge delivered, I might as well get some of the benefit of it, and what a surprise to find him here. You dark horse you.
Holly <folding her arms and grubling> I found him. he’s mine.
Emily: Aw come on, look at him. He’s gorgeous. You’ve got to share him. Come on now Holly, fair’s fair.
Holly: I suppose. But at the moment he’s in some sort of trance. A dream quest or something. Still, he’s very appealing. Sitting there, all that sweat pouring off him, Stetson on his head, stray tendrills of hair peeking out, eyes closed lips in a position to <she leans forward lips pursed>
Emily: <yanking her back> Hey, don’t you dare take advantage of a pure and innocent Mountie when he can’t defend himself. Let’s just sit here and drool over him. We may never get the chance again. We both keep our hands off him. Agreed?
Holly: <reluctantly> Agreed.

Episode Three

Emily and Holly sit in the Sweat Lodge, now totally transfixed with the vision before them.

OFM: <eyes suddenly opening and blinking several times> Ah, well, thank you for your company ladies but I'm afraid that I really must be going now.
Holly: <shock and disbelief written all over her face> Leaving, no you can't leave yet. You haven't shown us your...........your <Holly lost for words>
Emily: <with bright idea> Your technique.
OFM: My technique, I'm afraid I don't quite understand.
Emily: <trying hard to think of something> Your trance technique, you know that thing you've just been doing.
Holly: <pleading> Yes, that's right, you have to show us how you do it.
OFM: As I said before you have to have a pure heart and be able to see things others don't.

Emily and Holly look at each other with a 'What now?' expression on their faces.

Emily: <nudging towards the Mountie, smiling> OK, teach me.
Holly: <pushing Emily backwards, and moving in for the kill> No, show me, I've got a terrible back and neck at the moment and I'm sure I would benefit more.
OFM: <realising what's going on> I have an inuit cure for your back problems but I'm sorry ladies, this isn't something you can demonstrate and besides you need to be fluent in Tshim Tshim.
Emily: Teach me that then.
Holly: No, teach me, not her. <clears her throat politely> Sorry, I mean, would it be at all possible for you to teach me this Tshim Tshim?

Emily begins to sulk at the back of the Sweat Lodge.

OFM: <trying to get to his knees and leave the Sweat Lodge> I do beg your pardon, but I really must leave. I have urgent things to attend to at the Consulate.
Holly: <leaning forward and grabbing a corner of the Mountie's towel. It begins to slip>
OFM: <with that rabbit in the headlights look on his face, grabbing his Stetson for immediate use> Oh dear!

Episode Four

Emily and Holly are staring open mouthed at OFM. He is crouched with poise, his Stetson strategically placed to cover his embarrassment.

OFM: <clears his throat. Holly and Emily sigh> Ladies, although I find the human body very appealing, and indeed, I have studied great works of sculpture and art, (I have even carved a pleasing replica of Michaelangelo’s David for a Christmas present) I really do not wish to reveal any more of mine. So, if you don’t mind, would you kindly turn your back whilst I recover my towel. Thank you kindly.

Emily: <having great difficulty averting her gaze from the embarrassed Mountie> Well if you insist. <whispers to Holly> I don’t know why he’s making such a fuss, he has his swimming trunks on anyway. What a baby.

The “ladies” turn away reluctantly.

Holly: <whispering> How do we get him to stay longer.

Emily: We will hvae to think up a story. Something that we need his help for. You know how he cannot resist meddling in other people’s problems. It will have to be something pretty compelling though. He does seem determined to get away.

Meanwhile OFM is wiping down his sweat dtrewn chest and back with the towel and shrugging into a white T-Shirt. He gropes around in the smokey interior for his jodpurs and his hand encounters something almost insubstantial. He looks round.

OFM: Dad! How did you get here? <reaches out again and finds his pants>

OFDM: <wearing full dress uniform and a wistful expression> More to the point son, how did YOU get here? And how did you manage to snare two of them? I wish I had your technique Benton. When I was your age I was patrolling the wilderness 100km outside Alert. Never smelt the remotest scent of a woman for 15 months. I tell you, until you are deprived of their company for long stretches of time, you don’t know how much having them around means. Then when I would get back to the post no woman would come near me for day I looked and smelt that bad. I used to dream of them, all kinds of them,............blonde ones, tall ones, sturdy ones.........

OFM: Dad,

OFDM: <ignoring him> brown ones, short ones.........

OFM: <annoyed> Dad. Is there any point to this rambling?

OFDM: <turning to get another look at Emily and Holly> Why yes, son. Don’t you look a gift horse in the mouth. Why if I were only 20 years younger.........

OFM: <sighing and scratching his eyebrow> Well you aren’t and you’re dead and if you have nothing constructive to say I’d like you to leave me in peace to get dressed. <struggles into his jodphurs>

OFDM: Can’t do that son. I’m worried about you.......

OFM: <in an exasperated tone> Oh please..........

OFDM: I am. A man of your age should be married. Wife to help you, keep you company, 5 or 6 children running about the cabin.

OFM: <scowling at some long buried memories> Oh and you’d know all about that, would you? You were hardly ever around for Mum. And all that time you led me to believe I was an only child. All those times you slept with the dogs, and the arctic tern we had for Christmas. You expect me to be ablet o act normally around women? You expect me to want to get married?

OFM pulls his braces onto his shoulders and fastens his zip.

Meanwhile Emily sneaks a peeks over her shoulder. Through the gloom she can see OFM is more or less dressed and she frowns hearing his voice.

Emily: <leaning close to Holly’s ear> He’s done dressing. But I think he’s talking to himself. Do you think he’s ok?

Holly: <turning around> Who cares, he looks like an angel and that’s good enough for me.

Emily: Well, what are we going to do? What’s the plan?

Holly: <grinning> I’ve got a perfect and foolproof idea.

Episode Five

OFM is desparately making his escape from Holly and Emily and is almost fully dressed, Stetson now in it’s proper place. Holly’s foolproof plan comes into play........

Emily: <whispering to Holly> Oh god no - not one of your plans again. You know how much trouble they can get us into!

Holly: <still grinning> My point exactly!

OFM: Goodbye then ladies, thank you for your company. I bid you Good Evening.

Holly: <quickly shuffling forward, towel tightly wrapped around her> Just one more thing <pause> Swords!

OFM: <stopped in his tracks by a memory of a certain kiss with a certain TDL> Swords?

Holly: Yep, that’s right. You know the sort of thing. Made of steel, long, with a handle at one end and a blade.

OFM: <feeling rather warm even in the absence of the Sweat Lodge> What would you want with Swords? I feel such a harsh weapon would have no place here.

Emily: <slowly coming up to pace with the plan> Ah, but that’s where you’re wrong. You see we have a friend who has purchased such a thing as a Christmas present for one of their members of staff, and, would you believe it, he is a Mountie! The thing is, we think our “friend” has an alterior motive!

OFM: <suddenly dawning on him who they are taking about> An alterior motive, ah yes, understood. I have come across thiskind of gift before <trying to change to subject> when I was a child my grandparents, who incidently were librarians, but that’s another tale, would often......

Holly: <jumping in mid conversation> Nevermind you grandparents, lovely people though I’m sure they were, we need your help to get these two people together.

OFM: I see <swallowing deeply> but I don’t know how I could help you?

Emily: <with a cunning look on her face and turning the tables on Holly> We have a plan.......

Episode Six

Holly: <grinning inanely> Yes it’s a foolproof plan. Devised for and by fools! But in order to be privy to it you must come down to the kitchen and slip into more appropriate attire. The plan will never work with you in that uniform. Emily scowls in a “what is she on about” expression. The mountie blushes. Holly and Emily utter a collective sigh and bat their eyelids at him. He looks down bashfully.

OFM: As you wish ladies.

He gestures expansively for them to precede him and they all march in a dignified fashion down the attic access staircase.

OFM: <holding a cupped palm to his ear, halts at the bottom of the stairs> Ladies, wait a moment, I hear something inconcrous.

Emily and Holly look at each other and mouth: Inconcrous?

Holly shrugs and carries hastily on down the next flight of stairs.

OFM <grabbing a corner of Emily’s towel urgently> Stop!

Emily’s heart give an anticipatory lurch.

Emily: <turning towards him with what she hopes is an alluring grin> I though you’d never say that.

She grabs his braces and pulls him towards her.

OFM: <frowning and stepping back> No you misunderstand. It’s dangerous.

Emily: You bet it is, especially in this position. Maybe we should go find a bit more space then it will be more........

OFM: <cutting her off in mid passionate flow> No it is your friend, we must get to her quickly.

Emily: <smiling> Ooooh you wicked mountie you......

OFM not listening, pushes Emily out of the way, his braces snap back against his chest, losing his hat in the process.

Emily: <stumbling> Hey, watch it! <She picks up the Stetson and tries it on. It is too big, but only just>.

An earpiercing scream rents the steamy air. Emily freezes mouth open. The hat drops to the carpet. There is a sound like a car back firing - then silence.

Emily: <shaky voice> Holly? Fraser?

Episode Seven

Emily <quietly but intently>: Holly, c’mon where are ya. Fraser what’s goin’ on? Where are ya both?
A murmour from the hallway passage grips Emily's’s attention.
Emily<continuing down the stairs, now more confident>: Holly, is that you? Fraser?
OFM:<turning to see Emily approach him>: Take my hand.
Emily obliges immediately.
OFM:<stooping to the ground to collect something on his finger tip to taste>: Gunpowder!
Emily<sharp gasp of breath, gripping OFM’s hand tightly> Holly, where’s Holly. Ergh, you don’t know what’s on that floor - you know what Holly’s like at cleaning!!!!

Then a thought occurs to Emily - if Holly’s not about that means her and the Mountie are alone. ALONE!!!!

OFM<sharply tugging Emily behind him>:Understood, but I think I’m onto something.
OFM proceeds to pull Emily along behind him and leaves the house to enter the garden. Slowly he opens the door to hear whoops of screaming and squealing.

Holly has found the New Year fireworks!!!!

Holly: <jumping around with whoops of delight holding her towel tightly>: So, Frase, now I’ve got your attention - your undivided attention, let’s get down to the nitty gritty.
Emily: <scowling> Do you know what I thought - no, p’raps it’s better if you don’t know what I thought. <still scowling>
OFM: Now ladies, must I remind you..............the foolproof plan.........
Holly: <smug as ever, slowly approaching OFM, hand out stretched>Take my hand and follow me.
Emily: Ahem, excuse me - what about my hand?
Holly: Well you’ll just have to let go for five minutes - won’t you.
Emily: <she eventually lets go knowing she hasn’t got a hope against Holly’s willpower when it comes to Mounties> Okay, okay, point taken.
The threesome, led by Holly, gripping OFM’s hand with sheer delight, leads them back into her kitchen.
Holly: <sighing> Well, now that we’ve got your attention Benton, let’s get you into that suitable attire that I mentioned earlier. <she smiles at Emily, then beams at OFM>
Emily returns the smile!

Episode Eight

Holly tightens her towel around her body and knots it as she opens a large cupboard, leans inside and starts to throw things out. A shoe flies out narrowly missing Emily. OFM ducks.
Holly: No that's not it.....no it's not there....uh uh.........
More assorted objects fly out. Tennis racquets.......old wellie boots........scarfs....sun tan cream.........hats.
OFM catches a dreamcatcher as it floats frisbee like past his face.

OFM: <grinning> Ah, a native American dreamcatcher. I made one of these for Ray once. <He studies it carefully then licks at the webbing. Emily pulls a disgusted face> No that is not genuine caribou gut. Miss er...well Miss. I think you were duped as this is not a genuine dreamcatcher. <He squints at the feathers and sniffs them> And these are certainly not eagle feathers, more <sniffs at them again> more like pigeon, though I cannot be sure as I am not very familiar with pigeons. In the Territories we never saw them. Though in Tuktoyuktuk once I did have to investigate a case of a homing pigeon which had lost its way. Quite severely in fact, it was supposed to be landing in Lima. Ended up in the loft of the courthouse where it spent something like two months. It even made a nest there; a fascinating arrangement of detritus, newspaper..
His rambling is cut short as a hockey stick hits him in the face.
OFM<failing to catch it before it does any damage> Ouch!
Emily <rushing to his side and guiding him to a chair out of range of any more missiles> Oh you poor Mountie, you. Sit here and let me look at the damage. That Holly has no regard, and quite appalling aim.
OFM<succumbing to her ministrations subconsciously.> Thank you kindly - Emily<pulling his hand away from his face to get a better look>.
OFM: Emily. But I am sure I will be quite fine. <He tries to push her hand away>
Emily: No trouble you have got quite a bruise coming there.
She grabs his free hand. He still has the dreamcatcher in the other. She studies his face intently and he stares back, embarrassed by her intense scrutiny. She touches his face very gently. The moment freezes then:
Holly: <triumphantly and unwittingly breaking the spell> Ha ah ! Found them.

Episode 9

Holly turns round to face OFM and Emily, beaming with delight at what she is holding in her hands.

Holly: Oh, excuse me for interrupting but I’ve found them. Look.

Emily: <turning to Holly with a raised eyebrow> What on earth............how do you..........?

Holly: <moving forward towards OFM> Stand up Benton and face the window.

OFM: <obliges> Why I do believe that they are...........

Emily: <interrupting in mid sentence> yes, yes, yes. We all know what they are but how on earth are we going to attach them to you?

Holly: <moving her hands over the red serge uniform> Well, I think this must clip onto here. No, perhaps here then. Ah yes that fits. Now where does this bit go? Whoops, sorry, definately not there!

OFM begins to blush.

OFM: <slightly agonised> Ouch - oh not too tight please?

Holly: Sorry, got carried away!

Holly and Emily both have their hands and attention firmly on the red serge when a noise interrupts the proceedings. The doorbell.

Holly: Damn, who can that be?

Emily: Well I don’t know - why don’t you answer it and find out?

OFM: Please, ladies, allow me.

Holly and Emily give a coy alluring look to OFM who avoids eye contact and leaves the room to answer to door.

Holly: Well, what d’ya think?

Emily: I think we should get dressed!

Holly: <shaking her head> No, no, no - not that.

Emily: Ok, ok, I know what you mean. Let me put it this way. If that doesn’t get Meg’s attention then nothing will.

Holly: That’s what I thought.

OFM has now reached the door and is unaware that Emily and Holly are leaning out of the kitchen doorway admiring the view as he walks away from them.

OFM: <opening the door, shocked> Turnbull!

Turnbull: <business like> Constable Fraser - thank goodness I’ve found you. I had to get Diefenbaker to track you down!

Holly: <turning to Emily - even more shocked> Turnbull?

Emily: <returning Holly's shocked look> Turnbull?

OFM: Diefenbaker!

Episode 10

OFM opens the door wider to let Turnbull and the wolf into the house.
Holly<crossly> : Hey hold on just a minute here-
OFM turns to her and gives her one of his heart stopping smiles. He shifts on his feet a little.
OFM:Yes?
Holly: Well Imean to say, this is my house and we can't have dogs-
OFM: Half dog, half wolf actually, he rescued me from certain death on an ice floe and that burst his eardrums so he is now deaf......
Holly: We can't have half dogs shedding hairs everywhere my husb- my friends are allergic. So are my lodgers.
Turnbull<doffing his white Stetson> Hello everyone, constable Renfield Turnbull at your service. MY how I love England. Do you know Her Majesty ? I've been for a tour of her Palace. It is so much grander than our Consulate. I even watched the changing of the Guard. I was so excited.
Turnbull offers his hand to Emily who shakes it vigorously. The wolf and the Mountie are in the hallway before Holly can protest further.
Turnbull: Now you must not worry about the wolf hairs. am very good with a vacuum and a feather duster, see. <He whips out said item from his Sam Browne and proceeds to dust the dado rail with vim and vigour.>
Turnbull: Mmmm, plenty to keep me a busy little bee here.
He starts to sing a country and western song, something about a donkey with a broken heart.
Emily closes the front door with a flourish and turns to OFM who has paled considerably.
Emily: Are you all right, you don't look so good? Come here with me. Sit down.

She leads him into the front room and gently guides him onto the couch. Holly follows, curiously.
Holly: Hey don't crush that-- too late.
Emily: Holly, he's gone all quiet.
Holly sits on his other side, Emily holds his hand.
Emily; <in a soft voice> Fraser, what's the matter? Are you concussed? <to Holly> This is your fault you clumsy buffoon, you hit him with the hockey stick.
Holly: It was plastic. Anyway you stuck that stupid cape on him.
Holly aims a sharp kick at Diefenbaker's ribcage as he sniffs rather too close to her Art Nouveau sofa.
Dief: Yelp!
OFM: Dief, here boy.
Holly: He spoke!
Emily: <to OFM> I thought you said he was deaf.
OFM:<drily> He reads lips. <to Holly> You are lucky he did not bite you. He is a wild animal after all and I really have no control over him.
Holly< rising to move her Chinese rug out of the way of the wolf's muzle.>: I can see that. He'd better be house trained. Wild things should be where they belong, out of civilisation in the frozen wasteland.
OFM: Oh I can assure you that Diefenbaker is house trained and fully acclimatised to the urban environment.
Holly: I was talking about you.
OFM: Oh.
Emily: <trying to steer ythe conversation onto less controversial ground>: So Fraser, why so quiet?
OFM<sadly> It was the mention of the vacuum.
Emily<nodding knowingly> I can sympathise.
OFM<perking up> You mean you had a lover you put in prison whom you rediscovered years later after taking a neighbour's vacuum to be repaired? Then went on to fall in love all over again only to be betrayed and manipulated by her culminating in being arrested by your friends then shot in the back at a railroad station as you tried to escape ?
Emily: No
OFM< melancholy> Oh.
He looks down at his lap and the folds of the cape gathered there and sighs a deep mournful sigh.
Emily sobs.
Holly: Oh for heaven's sake! Get a grip you two. This day started out so promising and now what? We got a depressed mountie on the couch and a Mary poppins Mountie in the hallway.
Emily: Yep, Holly. You know what we ought to do to cheer him up, don't you ?
Holly< sarcastically> No, smart alec, what do we need to do? Show each other our battle scars?
Emily: No I got a much better idea.

Episode 11

Emily: Would you excuse us for a moment - as you can see, we need to get dressed.

Holly: <huffing> Oh I suppose so

OFM: Of course ladies. <he rises out of the chair and stands while the ladies leave the room and enter the hallway>

Emily: He’s still at it then <looking at Turnbull dusting away furiously>

Holly: Yep - c’mon, upstairs. Can’t leave him alone too long.

Holly and Emily proceed to run up the stairs giggling as they go. They both dash into Holly’s bedroom where Emily wills herself back into her size 12’s.

Running back down the stairs, still stuffing her T-Shirt into her jeans, Emily hears the phone ring.

Emily: <shouting up the stairs> Holly, phone!

Turnbull: <smiling and looking up from his dusting> Shall I answer it?

Holly: <running down the stairs, hair brush in hand, one sock on one sock off> No, it’s okay, I’m here now. <picks up the receiver> “Hello”

A few moments of silence follow, Diefenbaker pops his head around the lounge door to see what’s going on. Turnbull scowls at the hairs falling on the carpet!

Holly: <replacing the receiver sharply> Damn, knew there was something I’d forgotten! The kids, should have picked them up from school half an hour ago.

Turnbull: You have children? Ah such a wonder they are. I do love children and indeed they love me too.............. <continues in a state of wonder>

Holly: Well somebody has to go pick them up. What about you?

Turnbull: I’d be delighted. Now if you could just tell me the way to the school?

Holly tells Turbull how to get to the school and what her children look like! She tells him that they will trust a Mountie - it’s in bred in them - but to be careful of Magnus’s comforter. He has a tendancy to whack anything in site. Turnbull writes all of this down on a note pad which he has produced from his Sam Browne. Holly shakes her head in disbelief! Meanwhile Emily has returned to the lounge and seated herself back down next to OFM.

Emily: <caring and batting her eyelids> Feeling any better?

OFM: <sighs deeply> Victoria. Her name was Victoria.

Emily: <trying to show an interest> Oh really. Well I’ve got just the thing to cheer you up. Ever played Poker?

Holly: <enters the room to hear this last word> Poker? What sort of poker Emily?

OFM: Indeed I have come across this card game before but I am afraid that I am not very experienced at the rules.

Emily: Nevermind, I’m an expert. Let me teach you.

Emily grabs a pack of playing cards and hands them to OFM to shuffle. This he does with great ease - like a professional dealer. Holly leans over to Emily and asks what sort of Poker she has in mind.

Holly: So, what game are we going to play then? Seven card, winner takes all?

Emily: <cunning smile> Strip!

Holly: <hands over her face> Oh no!

Emily: Oh yes!

OFM: Oh dear!

Episode 12

Emily has only just started dealing when there is a hammering at the front door.
OFM: <throwing cards down and scratching ear> Thank heaven!
Holly gets up.
Holly: Drat, who can that be? Double glazing salesmen, I bet. They never use the bell.
OFM: <Sternly> Perhaps it is Turnbull and your children. <He stands> I'll get it.
Holly:<blocking his way to the door> No I'll get it
OFM:<Raising a hand> No, please, allow me.
Holly:<nodding> Okay then, both of us will get it.
They move to the hallway and OFM manages in his graceful way to get to the door first. Taking a breath he opens it. His face reddens as his eyes lock with those of the visitor. Holly peers under his arm.
TDL<smiling through gritted teeth> Fraser
OFM: Ah
Holly:Who the heck are you?

Episode 13

OFM <rubbing his eyebrow, red faced and looking down at the floor> Ah, Sir!

Holly: <pushing infront of OFM> Can I help you?

TDL< politely - as ever!> Yes, I certainly hope so. I am Inspector Thatcher, Constable Fraser’s Commanding Officer. <reaches out and shakes hands with Holly> I released Constable Fraser and Turnbull from their duties to go sight seeing around this beautiful country. We are here on special duties you see.

Holly: <intrigued> Oh really, please come in <now remembering the reason for keeping OFM at her house was to get him together with TDL>.

OFM steps aside, TDL enters and Holly ushers her through to the living room where Emily looks up and gasps. Quickly shoves the playing cards under a nearby cushion, and hides the DS videos in a nearby cupboard.

Emily: <shocked> Oh, hello.

Holly: Emily, please meet Inspector Thatcher, Constable Frasers Commanding Officer.

Emily and TDL shake hands.

TDL: <bitterly> Nice to meet you - again!

Holly: <stunned> You two know each other?

Emily: Well, kinda! You see..............

OFM interrupts in mid-explanation.

OFM: <now really really blushing> I think perhaps I should leave and return to my duties Sir, I believe that is why you came? TDL: No, Fraser, I think you should explain what’s going on here. Now!

Holly: <totally bemused by the situation> Yes, please Fraser, explain. <now looking daggers at Emily, offering a seat to TDL>.

OFM: Bark tea anyone?

Episode 14

Holly ushers Fraser into the kitchen leaving TDL and Emily in the lounge.

In the kitchen:
Holly:,<filling the kettle with water and putting it on the stove.>Take a seat <gestures> So you and Emily and that woman know each other, huh? And you didn't let on? Come on what's the big secret?
OFM< tugging at his ear> Well, um, it was a long time ago in Chicago. It's a long story too. Takes about two hours to tell.
Holly< getting mugs out of a cupboard> Could you get the milk?

OFM nods.
Holly: Well I got plenty of time. <looks up at the clock> Time! <Shrieking.> My gosh look at the time! It's an hour since Turnbull left and the return trip to school and nursery should only take thirty minutes. What's your mad friend done with my children?
OFM<closing fridge door and approaching cautiously> I am quite sure that they are fine<lays a hand gently on her shoulder> Turnbull is an experienced field officer.
Holly <brightening> Is he really?
OFM<licking lips> No. He is a fully trained member of the RCMP and quite er .....um...
Holly<crestfallen> They aren't safe with him are they?
OFM: I wouldn't put it that way.
Holly: <getting angry now> Well just how would you put it, huh? Is he as ditzy as he looks.
Fraser<looking at the floor> Yes. I'm afraid he is.
Holly: oh my oh my oh my. My kids have been abducted by a mad Mountie. I'm calling the police.
OFM<clasps her arm with his free hand> No you don't need to do that. You have two proficient law enforcement officers right here. I'll find them.
Holly< meeting his earnest look> You promise?
OFM: Yes, I promise. I am an expert tracker even in the urban wilderness that is your home town. Furthermore, Diefenbaker can help. He is unused to tracking children but I am sure that will not be a hindrance. If you can find some clothing that has their scent on it i can let him sniff it.
Holly< giving him a kiss on his cheek> You lovely man, thankyou.
OFM: <stepping back and reddening> You're welcome. I'll inform the Inspector.
Holly runs upstairs to find some clothes whilst OFM goes into the lounge.

OFM:< hesitantly opening the door and clearing his throat> Sir?
There is no reply so he steps into the room. He stares open mouthed at the
scene brfore him.

OFM: Oh dear.

Episode 15

OFM faces a scene of disruption as he enters the room.
Emily <through gritted teeth> It's mine, give it back!
TDL: <as determined as Emily> NO! I did the acting, well actually I didn't act, but there you go. It's mine I tell you, mine!
OFM: <coughing loudly> Excuse me, Sir?
TDL: <freezing on the spot> Ah Fraser!
Emily: <innocently to OFM>: Oh at last. Look, Fraser, she's saying that this video with that kiss in it belongs to her. Now I know she's just jealous 'cos she doesn't have a copy. Tell her Fraser - tell her?
OFM: <rather quietly>: I'm afraid I was unaware that you were the owner of "that" video, so I cannot answer that - I apologise. <looks down to the floor, blushing>.

Emily: <dropping the video, walks over to OFM>: Oh Fraser, no need to apologise, I mean you haven't done.........................
TDL: <swiftly> Fraser <pushing Emily aside> Look, this is nonsense. I came here to find you because I need you to return to duty. Now, where is Constable Turnbull?
Holly: <entering the room carrying a couple of shirts and a pair of socks for Dief> Oh, what's this then? <noticing the video case lying open on the floor, and noticing it's a copy of ATQH>
Emily: Oh Holly, hooray. Now - tell her, it;'s my video?
Holly: What? Video? Who? Look, I've got more important things on my mind. The kids. Remember? <Locking eyes with OFM> Now, here's some clothing - get that wolf to work.
OFM: My pleasure to be of assistance.

Go to Sweat Lodge - Part Two

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