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Today, I went to a meeting about majoring in English, and when I left, I felt much less certain about how I'm going to work my courses. That's primarily why I didn't want to go to the meeting, because I knew that all it would do was scare me to death and make me feel very, very small and stupid (and also because I didn't want to go alone). What confused me the most, though, was the revelation that I don't have to do an honours thesis to graduate with honours. Can anyone explain to me why I -- why anyone -- would do an honours essay when you don't have to? That's just insane! I'll probably end up applying for it anyway, as long as I get the 78% average needed to be admitted. But we all know I'm crazed, so there you go.
Later on, I had dinner with Chelsea and Tali. Chel told me all about the film studios in New York she applying to for interships, and I started to get worried about the summer. What if I don't find a job, people? I kind of want to work somewhere really common, like a bookstore or a coffee shop or somewhere like that (somewhere romantic, where I can be bored all the time and be in it purely for the money, so I can have the job that an English major is supposed to have). But my mum and dad seem to think that I can get a better job, that I should start looking for jobs in my field right away. Little do they know that I'm not even sure what my desired field is anymore. Journalism sounds really nice in my head, but in all practicality, it is highly unlikely that an untalkative, shy, awkward, slightly-smarted-than-a-chimpanzee girl like me will ever amount to much in the world of competitive journalism. Even if I did only work in print media, I'm sure speaking in public becomes necessary at some stage, and I'm doubly sure that charm and character are important deciding factors in people getting promoted in jobs like that. And I, sadly, have very little of any of those. I have been toying with the publishing house idea for a while, but there again, it seems to me that they would want über-smart kids to work for them (or, even worse, über-smart adults), and again I would be out of luck. So I have no idea what I could do with my life right now. I am at a complete loss.
This totally bites.
So anyway, I'm going to go finish folding my laundry now (finally got the smell of smoke out of everything that I own), then maybe go watch West Wing by myself. Or maybe I'll watch A Hard Day's Night, which I have on CD-ROM, instead. That's right, kids! Before we had DVDs, we had the CD-ROM!
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