PART 1
How to dress emo....This varies depending
on where you live and if you are going for the indie emo look, the nerdy
emo look or the dressy emo look. I shall go over all 3 from head to toe.
*The indie emo look - (best for
girls and guys 16-20)
Dyed-black short hair with bangs short and cut straight
across the forehead. Spikey in the back, slightly greasy. Really light
blonde hair on girls often works too.
Piercings. The more the better.
Jewelry. The more the better. Beads, etc.
Horn-rim/thick black frames/cat eye glasses (this works for all three
types).
Tight, fadded shirts with random slogans. It should look like it could
have been bought at a thrift store but you didn't (but you really did).
It takes a while to master that one.
Dark denim jean jackets.
Messenger bag covered in patches and pins (that you actually bought at
shows).
Tight pants, sometimes cuffed once or twice but never more!
Black or blue converse shoes.
*The nerdy emo look - (best for
girls under 17 and guys over 21)
Short hair. Style it messy, but not spikey.
Horn-rim/thick black frames/cat eye glasses (this works for all three
types).
Thin, tight, solid dark color v-neck sweaters. I call them Grandpa sweaters.
Band shirts.
Messenger bag covered in patches and pins (that you bought at Hot Topic
but you tell everyone you got them at shows).
Dickies work pants. Blue, black or grey only!
Argyle socks.
Black converse shoes.
*The dressy emo look - (best for
girls and guys over 20)
Black or brown hair. Flipped out on girls, mop top on
guys.
Horn-rim/thick black frames/cat eye glasses (this works for all three
types).
A silver necklace with a star charm.
Scarves.
A black or navy blue pea coat.
Black messenger bag. No patches, 1 or 2 pins at the most (and only at
the bottom of the strap).
Heavy dress slacks.
Doc Martens or clunky black shoes.
If you still are a bit clueless, take a look at these.
Or this. Another thing you need to be emo can be found here.Also,
to be emo you have to be really skinny. Why do you think so many of them
are vegans. If you are not skinny, you have to lose weight before you
can officially be emo. How many emo girls do you see walking around with
a big tank ass? That's what I thought.
*How to act emo
Now that you know how to dress the part, you must know
how to act the part. This is, in my opinion, the most important step of
all! Follow my directions closly, because we all know nothing is worse
than a poseur and nothing is better than getting scene points!
Before you worry about how you are going to change how
you act in "real life", you must change your "internet
life" first. Erase your PunkPrincess182 screen name and change it
to something a bit sadder. Such as xsadxstarx. If you need help, a handy
emo screen name generator can be found here.
With your emo screen name in place, you must type emo.
Example: this.is.an.example.of.typing.emo..this.kind.is.mostly.used.on.websites.
&we cant forget about this kind. &thiskindwhichisannoyingasfucktoread.
tYpInG LiKe ThIs iS nOt TyPiNg eMo. That's
just typing retarded.
Then, put your new typing skills to use by having conversations
with other random emo people you've met online. Where do I meet them online
you ask? At make out club! But now moc clones are popping up all over
the place. We also recommend: lipstick and cigarettes, lipstick party,
mad rad hair, not popular and there are probably more we are leaving out.
Let us know of any new ones. Anyway, at those sites you will find hundreds
of guys and girls showing off their photography skills and name dropping
talent. Another good place for meeting other emo people is at different
emo bands message boards. Watch out for the poseurs though!
On the message boards, make a name for yourself. Become
a "regular". Be sure to tell all the people that list the bands
they like that they are not emo enough and that they should go away until
they get some real taste in music! If they ask what you like, refuse to
tell them. Give them a reason like "you are not worthy enough to
step into my music world". Or anything similar.
Now lets change how you act in real life. First, you must
go to as many shows as you can! I can not stress that enough. Whether
you like the band or not. If you like the band, then you can enjoy it
and get scene points! If you don't like the band, you can stand there
bitching about how much the band sucks. Then people will come up to you
and ask why. You can then talk about how the bands you listen to have
so much more talent. Then you get to name drop! Now the fun begins because
you can make up band names. However, they should still be very emo so
you sound like you know what you are talking about, even though you don't.
Go here for some ideas.
*Emo Tips
Now that you are emo, I have a few more tips for you:
Talk constantly to your non-emo friends about being emo. Each time they
ask you what it is, say something different. Make it sound all mysterious
and secretive.
Try and share your emo music with as many people as you can. Get really
angry when they don't like it. Get really mad when they do like it and
try to share it with other people.Like meat? Well stop. Being a vegitarian
or a vegan is one of the most important requirements of being emo. Find
out more here. When eating M&M's, only eat the red ones.Start a livejournal,
deadjournal or a diaryland diary. Write in it about all the shows you
have gone to and how they have changed your life. Lie if necessary. Be
sure and put the song you were listening to at the end of each entry and
occasionally post some poems.Remember: the fad of anti-fad.
Buy a digital camera and take lots of pictures of yourself.
Turn your head as you take them so only your ear or eye or part of your
hair shows. Then open them up in photo shop and blur them even more. It
makes them look artistic. Taking photos of random objects in black and
white also looks artistic. Once you've done that, you can consider yourself
an art student.
Expect hardcore and straight edge kids to make fun of
you. Tell them "your scene is dead!" and run away like the little
wuss you are.
Join a band or make a new one. You'll suck, but at least you can tell
people about it and it might help you get that cute emo girl's e-mail
address. Go here for the emo band name rule book. Or if you're really
lazy you can use the The Emo Band Name Generator. Another one is here.
Find out exactly how emo you are. Or find out your emo mood.
*Congratulations! Now
that you've read everything, you can also pretend to be the authority
on what is and isn't emo! But remember, you won't become emo overnight.
It takes some work. Learn more here, here, here, and here. Learn more
about the music here. And play the emo game here.
PART 2
*Appearance - To
obtain the perfect emo look you will need the following:
*Clothing -
Child's T-shirt - Usually containing a
nostalgic cartoon program from the 70s or 80s. Make sure that you are
underweight enough so that you will be able to fit into child's t-shirts.
Show your inner despair by looking like you are too sad to eat. Obesity
and emocity do NOT mix.
*Sweater vest
- Stolen from father. If said father doesn't wear sweatervests, then steal
one from a dad who does wears them.
Black rimmed glasses - For the 'geek chic' look.
*Converse shoes
- don't forget to write the name of your significant other on them.
Tiny striped shirt - The best place to purchase striped EMO shirts is
at Wal-Mart or Distro Clothings. Just head into the young boy's section
and you can usually find them for about Rp.65000 / $.5 If you're lucky
enough to be spoiled, you can just head to the local ritzy mall and hit
up the GAP or Banana Republic. Do not admit that you bought those shirts
from there, but you will feel higher on the EMO social scale if you have
the name brand.
*Body
Mods - Tattoos
of stars - Notably nautical stars. You also need to get some tattoos of
cherries, sparrows, and a guitar.
You must have at least one or two lip
rings. Express your inner pain by showing that you also have outer pain.
Stretch your ear lobes to an ung odly gauge like 00 so you can buy the
cool plugs with the nautical stars in them.
*Hair
- Greasy hair - Try avoid showering for
2 or 3 days.
Dyed black hair - Should be floppy if you are male, teased huge if you
are female.
*Transportation - Emo
kids like to drive something called a "Vespa" which is just
an expensive moped with a foreign name. You will not be emo until you
buy one.
However, if you're not FORTUNATE enough
to buy a vespa, EMO kids usually like to drive Kia's, Hyundai's, or those
old school Toyota Corollas ...Damn Shit !
Accessories - Like
emo guys, emo girls should also wear wristbands, especially if they're
colored all sorts of happy colors. While it might confuse people as to
whether you're a raver, piercing your ears like 2983492 times and wearing
babydoll shirts with "Unhappy Chick" written on them will eliminate
confusion.
If you're an emo girl and you look good,
then you're doing something wrong! Gaining a boatload of weight, or slimming
down to the width of a pencil will help you look like you're just not
good enough to be happy with a significant other.You must own 3128912
guitars to give off that "I'm in a band" look. So what if you
can't play, you LOOK like you can.
Carry around a poetry book and whenever
you see your emo soulmate, read them the poem that you wrote for them.so....Whatever?....F**king
!!!
You should theoretically look like this:
Here at Sykospark.net we could make a kit and most likely make tons of
money by selling this to loser emo kids, but we ask ourselves, do we really
want this crap in our house? Besides, since EMO has become the latest
SUBKULTURE fashion trend .. being emo is as easy as stealing money from
your momz, rolling up into Hot Topic and like WOAH you're emo.
If you're confused about what an emo should
look like, click here. Seventeen magazine had a photospread of what makes
someone emo! Great advice!
I put this up as a chance to laugh at
some of the sillier stuff emokids do in order to not look like all the
Green Day/Rancid and Strife/Hatebreed clones out there.Some pointers about
emo fashions (above simple, universal hardcore attire)
the Emo Romulan look - short, thick, greasy,
dyed-black hair with bangs cut straight across the forehead, and cut high
over the ears. Someone from Time In Malta recently described to me the
San Diego Crimson Curse scene as "Spock Rock" Actually, any
greasy dyed black hair. Bangs infront and spikes in back is very emo too.
horn-rim glasses, or at least thick black frames,bald head, furry face
(boys only). Goes especially well with horn-rims.heavy slacks, often too
tight and short,thin, too-small polyester button-ups in dark colors, or
threadbare children's size t-shirts with random slogans. Button the collar
if you got one.clunky black shoes scarves gas station jackets. This has
diffused a lot over the years though, it's no longer exclusive to emo
kids. Nowadays, you may want to select a nice corduroy denim jacket.
also classic outerwear but quickly diffusing
to normality the famous Blue Peacoat barrettes on boys make-up (male or
female) too-small cardigans and v-neck sweaters argyle anorexic thinness.
Veganism helps here.Another essential bit of emo-formation, by Blake Butler:
how to name your emo band.
*Some submissions I've received:
This is the kind of letter I like getting:
"hi. like the fashion page, just one question. what is the correct
emo tennis shoe? i must ask this question. for most kids its low top chuck
taylors, or converse jack purcells...but some kids get away with some
running shoes. thats an odd twist to things if you consider that running
shoes are pretty tuff guy like. also common is the low top "old school"
vans....but for the vegan kids....its just not possible. i would like
to hear some insight in this. also...though i reside in PA now i'm especially
an expert in OH fashion......as such i must report on the obvious trend
of dark colored sweaters with strips across the chest, not to be mistaken
with similar styles available at old navy....
The sweaters come in darker colors and
are thrift store finds exclusively, like the sports t-shirts with numbers
on the back. gotta have those. sometimes you can keep your keys in a big
ol' key ring (F**king style) like the spanakorzo guy, as opposed to the
more obvious choice of a wallet with a chain. dark denim (remember to
roll up those pants at least once, but not more than twice). hooded sweatshirt?
try to make it a black zip up one, with a metal zipper please. though
stars were big, very big...along with kid like graphics (like the kids
playing with slot cars in the cap n' jazz record) in '96 or so...you still
gotta' represent!"
fashion...you forgot one thing about a
lot of emo kids,they usually have their former sxe identity draped at
their feet (i wax poetic), a cigarette in hand, and a new-found fascination
with domestic beer (bottle often in hand lacking cigarette)...there's
also a high amount of metal-related t-shirts (iron-on metallica and iron
maiden designs), sheerly for the kitsch in it...MY friends wrote: "check
out your grandparents closets. seriously. lots of terrible sweaters and
leather peacoats from the 40s... also, hand lotion is good at taming hair
into a cowlick type position."Emo style" is a buzz haircut.
Sideburns. Thriftshop t shirts and button ups. Tight jeans or those old
man polyester pants. And you gotta own a pair of converse all star low
tops. Thats "emo" here....oh....and hooded sweatshirts in the
winter."emo fashion from el paso: started by At The Drive In and
i'm sure soon to be a trend: AFROS"
True, although I think KARP got there
first...Pay found this gem (originally here) by Friends about the emo
jacket phenomenon: "As any discerning punk knows, it's important
to choose your fashion wisely. Whether it's kicking in heads on Huntington
Beach or slicing tofu to take to the UOA show, people are watching. In
the Northeast and East Bay the emo jacket is king. Nerdy punks with glasses
and wallet chains. Striped shirts, two sizes too tight, and workpants,
or maybe, just maybe corduroy. Which side of the tracks are you from?
The emo jacket is a sort of work jacket
that you can only find in army-navy or thrift stores. Usually in earth
tones, gray, brown, maybe a navy blue with stripes. All style. The emo
jacket is a product of the nineties. Popularized by the kings of cool,
Nation of Ulysses and others, Antioch Arrow, Hoover, Rocket From the Crypt.
Never overdone. Maybe a patch or two, but placed strategically with the
utmost intention. A patch on an emo jacket is not to be ignored.
The emo jacket radiates an underlying
assertion, "I'm cooler than you." It's a sublime statement of
intuitive knowledge, internal hipness. It whispers, it doesn't scream.
It doesn't have to.That's right - baggy shorts are straight-edge fashion,
not emo."PAY" wrote simply: "you can't disclude old school
Converse shoes.Pay raised a great point about cars: "As far as transportation...crappy
early 60's four door Ford Falcons and Ford Futuras are the going rate.
The more delapitaded the better.I'd add to the list of approved emo vehicles:
old sedans with suicide doors, ala the Portraits of Past tour vehicle...?!
Whatever ?...
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