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violence rant



i must be a sick weirdo. i have this crazy thing for hearing about stuff like what happened to people at those world war two camps, what strange tests were done on them... what sick things happened in mental hospitals, how people were murdered viciously... cause you gotta wonder how a person can cut someone up into tiny pieces and watch them die slowly and not puke or have remorse... its crazy.

and just to try and imagine what its like to be gutted or shot or have fingers broken... its interesting, i have no idea how painful it'd be. i've never been in an accident or anything where i got a big gash or crushed arm or something. i have like one scar. its odd.

so am i fucked up? hmm.

however, the thing that really bothers me is how americans are such hypocrites. because we're anti-violence, and deem ourselves more moral and civilized than other countries, blah blah blah, yet the timothy mcveigh death is telecasted!! privately, yes, and yes, he deserved it. but how sick are fucking people who gladly take their tickets from the "lottery" of victims pooled together from the bombing and take their spots at a personal up-close viewing of his execution?? did we regress back to the times when americans enjoyed watching people be hanged? geez. i listen to violence and read on it, but i can't watch it. it churns my stomach and makes me feel like an animal or something. i think the world is crazy. somehow people can watch someone die and feel ok with it. even if he killed my mother or something, i could not have such revenge and hatred in me to wish someone dead, and watch it. well, whatever. i could get hate mail on this i'm sure. and if you hate me, its ok. just leave it be, because its not worth it to start something. i definately have no influence over the world with this website. peace.