Lore's Christmas Sillies --- Jokes

Lore's Christmas Jokes

What do elves learn in school?
The Elf-abet!

How many reindeer does Santa Have???
11 (named below)
Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen
Rudoph (the one with the red nose)
Olive (Olive the other reigndeer {all of})
and Al (Then Al the reindeer loved him {all})

What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish.

What kind of bird can write?
A PENguin.

Why does Santa's sled get such good mileage?
Because it has long-distance runners on each side.

Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?
Because every buck is dear to him.

What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?
Crisp Cringle.

JUDY: What did the ghosts say to Santa Claus?
MIKE: We'll have a boo Christmas without you.

ELF NO. 1: What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve?
ELF NO. 2: Okay everyone, sack time!!

If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?
Missletoe!

What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!

What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmastime?
Sandy Claus!

How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
Fleece Navidad!

If Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus had a child, what would he be called?
A subordinate claus.

Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer now works for Proctor and Gamble?
It's true....Comet cleans sinks!

Why did Santa spell Christmas N-O-E?
Because the angel had said,"No L!"

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic.

What do you do if Santa gets stuck in your chimney?
Pour Santa flush on him.

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes.

Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
So he can ho-ho-ho.

Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
Because he had low elf esteem.

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.

What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
Ribbon hood.

Who sings "Love me tender", and makes Christmas toys?
Santa's little Elvis.

Which of Santa's reindeers needs to mind his manners the most?
"Rude"olph

What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A cookie sheet!

What reindeer has thecleanest antlers?
Comet

What is the cow's holiday greeting?
Mooooory Christmas!

What does Santa likes to eat?
A jolly roll.

Where do Santa's reindeers like to stop for lunch?
Deery Queen

What does Santa say when he is sick?
OH OH NO!

If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get?
Missile toe

How does Santa Claus take pictures?
With his North Pole-aroid.

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
It's Christmas, Eve.

Why did they let the turkey join the band?
Because it had the drum sticks.

What did Tarzan sing at Christmas time?
Jungle Bells.

What goes, " ho, ho,,swoosh,, ho, ho,,, soosh? "
Santa caught in a revolving door.

Two brothers we are, belonging to Santa,
Great burdens we bear by which we are bitterly pressed;
The truth is to say we are full all the day
And empty when we go to rest. What can we be?
Santa's boots.

What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has NO EL.

Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
Because it soots him.

snowmanline

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