Gimli’s Song
Original: Roxie! From Chicago (the movie version)
slandered by Bubbles

The name on everybody’s lips is gonna be, Gimli.
The dwarf who’s rolling in rock chips is gonna be Gimli.
They’re so fine those deep, dwarven mines
That they’ll keep me just rolling in brass
Mithril here, mithril there, mithril mithril everywhere
To decorate this piece of…class.

From just some dumb, elf-sidekick gag I’m gonna be,
Gimli!
I’ll make those fangirls all go squee!
‘Cause I’m more hrah! than Legolas!
‘Cause this is one dwarf you don’t toss!
Gimli, me!

Giggle!

They’re gonna wait outside in line to get to see Gimli
Think of those autographs I’ll sign, good luck to ya, Gimli
And she’s so swell that Galadriel that she gave me three strands of her hair
But I don’t nance, I don’t prance, you bet I’m not a fancy pants
That even elf-boys can’t compare

I’m a dwarf and Middle-Earth loves me and I love it (especially the ‘earth’ part) and it loves me for loving it and I love it for loving me and we love each other and that’s because none of us got enough love in our early dwarfhood. But that's showbiz, kid.

I’m giving up my humdrum life
I’m gonna be Gimli!
I’m just the sexiest you’ll see!
And Elrond’s daughter’ll shit I know
To see her name get billed below
Gimli, me!

 

Back to Piddle or Caribou or Sauron's Song or on to Helm's Deep