Feb. 29, 2003

MORIA, Middle-earth—He's so cool he can see in the dark. In the league's darkest arena, Caribou goalie Gandalf posted his second shutout of the season en route to the 'Bou's fourth win, 2-0.

While there was some concern that Gandalf might have post-trauma flashbacks entering the underground arena, the wizard seemed to be in top form, turning away 30 Orc shots.

"It's all good," he said. "Frodo let me borrow his copy of After the Bad Thing Happens: The Next Twelve Steps. Quite a good read, actually."

The play couldn't exactly be called "close." There was a lot of flailing around and falling down due to the poor lighting. Merry said at one point he found himself defending the wrong goal.

"I kept looking for the beard," he said. "But it wasn't there."

Nevertheless, Strider put the 'Bou up 1-0 in the first period with a twisted wrister that beat the Orc goalie stick side. Frodo and Sam recieved assists on the goal.

In the last minute of play the Moria Orcs pulled their goalie for the extra attacker.

Legolas took over. In a move reminiscent of the horse-mount sequence on the plains of Rohan, the defenceman leapt atop the 'Bou goal crossbar and swatted the puck out of midair. The puck clanged off Gimli's helmet and slid into the open net. It was all over.

"Now you know what a dwarf's helmet is really made of," said a charged up Gimli. "It's durable yet asthetically pleasing! Hrah!"

Head coach Elrond praised the team for not scoring on themselves.

The Caribou's assorted bumps and bruises were tended to. The injured recieved Chupa Chupps.

Next up for the 'Bou are back-to-back games against the Ithilien Rangers and the Ringwraiths.

ELFHEAD!!!!

In other news the world famous rock group Elfhead has graciously agreed to play at the Dom Land Arena dedication ceremony. The new name, "The Merry Go Round...Rink...Thing Where a Penguin Plays A Banjo" will be officially unveiled in a pre-game ceremony March 14.

The Elfhead band members are taking time out from their busy schedule promoting their new album Elfhead: Sgt Leggy's Lonely Heart's Club Band.

"Rosie's bringing the kids," said Sam. "The whole family is excited! Especially Elanor. She thinks Haldir is cute."

Elfhead gave the team an autographed CD. There was much freaking out in the locker room when it was delivered.

See the invitation here. See the reply here.

Notes: After a league review, Rohan Rider Eowyn has been suspended two games for her hit on Boromir.

"He deserved it," said a rather uncontrite Eowyn.

The Rider left wing plans on spending her down time reading Edward Gorey's The Gashlycrumb Tinies or After the Outing. It shouldn't take her long.

Gandalf gets his groovy game-glove going. This picture is photo-enhanced due to the lighting situation in Moria. See original picture below.

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